Adolescence

This biological transition shakes the emotional foundations of almost every young person as they develop. This is also a time that parents dread, as their brilliant children can become argumentative, irrational, aggressive, hyper-sensitive, unhappy and difficult to live with.?

Puberty strikes, hormones erupt like a volcano, girlfriends or boyfriends arrive on the scene (with all the emotions they bring) and all rationality goes out of the window.

The journal Psychology Today characterises adolescence in the following way:

‘This transitional period can bring up issues of independence and self-identity; many adolescents and their peers face tough choices regarding schoolwork, sexuality, drugs, alcohol, and social life. Peer groups, romantic interests, and appearance tend to naturally increase in importance for some time during a teen’s journey towards adulthood.’

Usually, adolescence is the period between the ages of 13 and 19, the time when a child turns into an adult. The physical and psychological changes often begin earlier, though, during the preteen or ‘tween’ years (ages 9 to 12).?

Cognitive fitness, emotional intelligence (a high emotional IQ) and a sense of self worth all have a stabilising effect on the strong emotions of adolescence. Your child’s emotional IQ is a measure of their empathy.

This can be developed by encouraging them to think about the effects of their actions on others and to always behave with courtesy and respect towards others. By prioritising these values as a means to control our behaviour, we strengthen and increase their executive function and consequently our emotional IQ.?

A higher emotional IQ will mean your child has better judgement about how to behave or, if they have behaved poorly, will help them analyse their behaviour and its negative effect on others. This results in less sulking, less self-isolation in the bedroom, more apologies and faster repairing of relationships.

Many of the problems we’ve observed in adolescence centre around self-worth; these can last many years. It’s at this time that young people are trying to find their place and get a grasp of who they are and what they are worth. With a negative inner critic and poorly developed self-esteem or self-image, this time can be damaging.

A supportive community can identify weak areas, help young people take big steps to improve them and provide emotional support. All this gives young people the protective kit to weather the storm of adolescence and come out well developed and ready for adulthood.

There is much benefit to be gained during this challenging time. A young person asks themselves so many meaningful questions during adolescence and, with the right mentoring and support network, this provides a huge opportunity for introspective enlightenment.