ADHD Diagnosis at 54 and Burnout

ADHD Diagnosis at 54 and Burnout

I’ve been thinking about writing this for some time now, but I kept putting it off because I know I will be writing something that makes me feel very vulnerable indeed.

I’ve talked to you before about how I push myself to the limit sometimes and end up being so tired that I go through burnout and how I’ve tried to manage that better these days.

I’ve not yet shared with you that I now recognise that this happens because I’ve recently been diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 54.

In March 2022, I attended an event called Bee Inspired in Manchester, run by a powerhouse of a woman called Dani Wallace, where a speaker talked about her young son being diagnosed with ADHD. Then she recognised her own traits from his diagnosis, and she was also diagnosed with ADHD.

I listened intently to her and the description of her symptoms and listening to her, I recognised several things in myself that I had always thought were just me being “quirky”. I lacked confidence and low self-esteem, and I never felt good enough. Please believe me when I tell you that I never had a reason not to think like that, as although my parents had me a lot later in life, I came from a loving family.

Following a severe car accident that I was involved in when I was 18, I pushed and pushed myself to be better, stronger, and back to “normal” as I was pretty smashed up, to be honest, and was in the hospital for five weeks following which it took me some time to become fully mobile again.

Years later and there was I, listening to this woman on stage and the things she said, and it made me think about how I had pushed myself so much and how I now needed to look at myself much closer.

I always thought that some of my behaviours were a bit quirky. I could never understand how I could do three days’ worth of work in 1 day. I could sit in a meeting room full of people I’d never met before, and very soon, I would have analysed their areas of concern, and I’d know how to help them.

I am passionate about encouraging people to communicate better within their organisation, and problem-solving is something that I excel at because of the way my brain works. A lot of people with ADHD are problem-solvers.?

On the other side, I’ll go back to where I started when I spoke about burnout, as I need to manage this better. I’m so passionate about my work that it can drain me, especially when I push myself so hard for such a long time or say yes to everyone because my neurodiversity wants me to keep?everyone?happy. I realise I must keep this in check and monitor and manage it better.

I’ve now been diagnosed with combined ADHD, which means I have Inattentive, Hyperactivity and Impulsivity. It’s not as you might have thought several years ago, as I don’t throw my toys out of my pram all the time, but it does mean that my brain works differently than neurotypical people.

Some of the things it gives me are wonderful such as hyperfocus and an ability to analyse and interpret people, situations, and processes, to take what looks like a highly complex situation and to provide clarity, focus and calm.

I hyper-focus on my work which means that I can get a lot done, although I am also learning to adjust how I work afterwards to prevent tiredness or burnout.

I’m also a verbal processor, which, if you’ve met me, you will have realised by now. I remember the days at school when my teachers used to say that I talked too much; well, what do you know, eh? And they didn’t have a clue in those days as to why.

I’ve been feeling grief about my diagnosis lately due to thoughts about the “what ifs” What if I had known before, I could have forgiven myself for all the things that I “should” have done better. I could have given myself a bit of a break, which could have stopped me from constantly beating myself up. I’d have celebrated the successes rather than looked at everything from a perfectionist’s point of view (yes, we’re also perfectionists) and criticised how much better it could have been.

Then again, this is part of ADHD; we’re very good at doing that to ourselves too.

I’d like to say, at this point, if you’re like me and you’ve never even thought about ADHD and have just known you’re a bit quirky. If any of this sounds like you, I want to say that you are an extraordinary individual.

Just do a bit of research about how ADHD can affect you and what you can do to change those feelings and actions. I’m lucky as I met an excellent coach called Kim Raine, who also has ADHD and teaches people like me to manage things better when we feel like we can’t.

And finally, if you are like me, believe in yourself; you’re worth so much more than you think.

If you want to discuss anything I've talked about here with me, I'm just a message away either on Linked In or via the Contact form on our website.

Thanks for reading.

Liz