[ADHD is bonkers #4] - A system to focus when your biz partner can not.

Most business advice goes something like this:

Step 1 - Come up with an idea

Step 2 - Focus on your idea to make it grow

Step 3 - Discipline, discipline, discipline

Here’s ADHD version:

Step 1 - Come up with 10,000 ideas

Step 2 - Act on 300 ideas at the same time

Step 3 - Oh look, a ??!

As a business partner to someone with ADHD, the lack of focus used to drive me nuts. Lots of work would get done except the actual goals. Yet, Niamh and I were both extremely familiar with a way to get sh*t done. We had both worked for companies that use OKRs - Objective Key Results - a way to go after big stretchy goals. Niamh had used OKRs for 16 years. You know what her ADHD brain says about OKRs?

“F**k that sh*t.”

And it’s been right.

?? This is our last post in our series: “ADHD is bonkers and I (am learning to) love it”, where we share our ups and downs launching a business when one of us has ADHD. See #1.

The challenge with long term goals for the ADHD brain

Coming up with big goals is FUN!! It’s big and full of possibilities - SO FUN!!! Then you have to work on them for a looong time until they are done. NOT FUN ANYMORE!

The challenge with long term goals is that they conflict with several of ADHD’s characteristics such as: a need for novelty, a different sense of time, and a different way to prioritize (read post #3 for more about characteristics). Plus it requires focused attention for days. Total nightmare. It’s not to say that the ADHD brain cannot focus on long terms goals - it totally can, but it benefits from playing to its strengths to get there. It needs breathing room to create rainbow moments: making uncommon connections, putting 2 and 2 together to make it 5, and oh yeah how about we do that crazy thing nobody has thought of before?

In short: no ?? = no bueno.

Those 16 years using OKRs before? Turns out Niamh was motivated by being helpful to her teammates rather than the actual OKRs themselves. The accountability came from having fun working with people she didn't want to disappoint, rather than trying to achieve abstract goals that were neither here nor there.

The problem with me being an OKR lover

I have the capacity to focus on goals to the max, at the detriment of everything else. It’s work work work, zero fun. I’ll forget to take care of my health, my hobbies, and time for myself - but oh boy will I smash those OKRs!

I’m more of a ?? (it’s a rhino): mono-single-task-minded (with spiky horns).

Those ??s? I was like: “aint no time for that.”

We have money to make. Bills to pay. Goals to smash. I’m a rhino, I go through walls. Gimme walls!!

In reality, both ?? and ?? are necessary to run a business. Hence The Hybrid Way.

A system to create ?? and still act as a ??

We didn’t come up with this system, Niamh learned about it in her 10 week course from ADHD reWired. We’ve used it for over a year and it’s working very well for us.

Since then we've refined it to suit our needs better, but we are sharing the original version because it’s a great starting point.

What’s in there:

• What’s your why? What are you going after? This is where you write down your long-term goal(s) and why it matters to you. Reminding yourself why you do what you do is key for ADHD goodness.
• The ONE Thing: from the book of the same name, answers the question: “What's the One Thing I can do such that by doing it everything else will be easier or unnecessary?” This is your ?? mode. Your prioritization north-star. This question requires you to think in terms of what’s the best possible investment for your effort. This is where you should put most of your energy toward.
• IBNU: Important But Not Urgent. Catchall category for those browser tabs that are staying open in your brain all the time. E.g: invoice that person, book an appointment to the dentist, make a will.

• Nagging task: The stuff you know you should do, but don’t want to do. Some call it the frog ??. Eat your frog people. EAT IT!!
• Routine: the stuff you need to do repeatedly, but can be hard to prioritize. E.g. going to the gym 3 times a week, going for a walk each day, etc.

Why it works

It mixes ?? and ?? into something greater. A RHINBOW!

Peer accountability twice per week

The biggest factor is the peer accountability that comes from sitting down with someone and reviewing progress together. No judgment, no hard feelings if things are not done, it’s more a ‘How do we get there together?’ type of conversation.

We meet every Monday and Thursday morning to fill out our progress on these items together.

• Monday - We review progress from the previous week. We discuss what our respective 1 thing is for the week, and complete our part of the doc - it’s important to discuss as it helps uncover stuff and stay focused on what really matters.
• Thursday - We review how we are progressing against this week's goals. If we're not tracking towards our goals , what can we drop, delegate, or delete in order to get there? Can we help each other somewhere?

It’s not goals, it’s a system

• It breaks down the big mountain into actionable steps
• The ADHD brain doesn’t just focus on the task at hand, it’s fireworks in there. Random sh*t is accounted for.
• It’s focused, but not constraining. It’s like a to-do list with some flexibility.
• It’s life holistic - work, personal stuff, wellbeing, etc. It's all in there.
• There’s some gamification thrown on top. It’s great to see progress made.

Here’s an example from earlier this year:

The bottom line: it works well for normies too.

To my surprise: I like this system a lot more than what I was using before (a work focused todo list). It’s doesn’t scream LET’S DO THIS!! as much (which I miss a bit), but it has also removed that constant sense of urgency and failure I was feeling when I wasn’t crossing all the items on my list. More importantly, it supports the wheel of life approach a lot better.

It’s like I have upgraded my life thanks to ADHD.

Who knew it was even possible??

I've compiled my ADHD is bonkers articles at Midlife Stuntman - a newsletter where I share hard-won insights on chaos, growth, and laughing through life’s uncomfortable lessons — French irreverence, zero platitudes, and yes, sometimes ??.

1. ADHD is bonkers and I (am learning to) love it
2. It’s not you, it’s me. From ADHD victim to ally
3. ADHD Superpowers? WTF does that mean?!
4. A system to focus when your biz partner can not.