[ADHD is bonkers #3] - ADHD Superpowers? WTF does that mean?!
Francois Cadeau
Senior People Strategist | Human Resources | Learning & Development (ex Square, ex Google)
Have you noticed that many successful entrepreneurs are neurodivergent? They’ve had to survive a system that wasn’t made for them for their entire lives. If you can make it through that, chances are you f***ing rock.
I know that in my bones because I was contributing to that system. I was like: “Excuse me, you and your neurodiverse brain, can you do things NORMALLY please?”
Nah, I wasn’t that bad! C’mon, I’ve always been soooo open-minded. I’m not one of those people, right?! Of course not! Hee-hee-hee, Hon-hon-hon (cringey French laughter).
Whatever I told myself, the truth is my actions were not aligned with what my business partner needed. We had to decode ADHD together to be able to unleash its powers.
?? This is #3 of our series: “ADHD is bonkers and I (am learning to) love it”, where we share our ups and downs launching a business when one of us has ADHD. See #1 for context.
“ADHD folks, they are so [insert cliché strengths]”
I have an issue with the way ADHD strengths are often portrayed. So many articles rehash the same abstract stuff - they’ll tell you that ADHD folks are creative, have high energy, have compassion, are spontaneous, etc. And honestly, when first looking into it I was like: many people I know are all these things - what’s the big deal?
What I was missing was The Why - like why does the ADHD brain do what it does? Once I got that, it started to make sense.
The 5 characteristics below are our biggest GOTCHAs over the past 2 years running our business together. There are other aspects, but understanding these were gamechangers for us.
1?? ADHD characteristic #1 - It needs to be intrinsically motivating
Niamh’s biggest values are adventure and fun. I don’t think I understood what it meant for her until I saw her hit walls after walls. Now I know : if something is not intrinsically fun, her brain may literally remove it from existence.
Here’s an example: during the pit of despair Niamh was spending 50% of her time on a project that made close to zero $$$ and she was spending 2-4h per week on a 5 figure project that could actually sustain our business. No amount of reasoning, discussions, and requests from me worked (we have a business to launch here!) It made things worse. Did it drive me up the wall? Yes, like a rock climber on steroids with bionic arms. Was my nagging awful for Niamh? You bet!
The reason was simple: the no money making project was about teaching a leadership program for women (fun + meaning), with lots of interesting people (fun + purpose), and involved collaborating with fantastic people (fun + meaning + purpose).
The other project was about helping a dysfunctional corporate team work better together. Tough conversations and tense moments as folks worked through issues. It’s not that she couldn’t do that, it’s that it required a huge amount of effort from her ADHD brain as opposed to doing the intrinsically motivating stuff.
Niamh’s brain was literally forgetting about the project. She would sit down at her desk, knowing all the work to do, and her brain would… nope!
2?? ADHD characteristic #2 - Time is either ‘NOW’ or ‘NOT NOW’
One thing that really puzzled me was Niamh’s sense of time. It’s not exactly time blindness, it’s time positiveness - like, yes of course there’s plenty of time left, until we are at the last minute and OH NO!
Turns out, most ADHD brains have two switches: NOW and NOT NOW. Common challenges related to executive functioning, such as planning, prioritizing, and organizing can make it challenging to allocate time and effort effectively.
So, when Niamh and I were planning our business objectives, the fact that a project would take 2 weeks or 2 months wasn't that different for her. Both are NOT NOW. You know what is NOW: cleaning the kitchen! (A classic stereotype of folks with ADHD is that they are messy. Niamh is not! We both love a clean, organized house. Niamh says a quick cleanup gives her a dopamine hit - a feeling of instant productivity!)
3?? ADHD characteristic #3 - Prioritizing by proximity
The ADHD brain tends to prioritize by what is physically closest. For a normie-ish like me, with prioritization as a strength, this one activated my bionic arms and drove me up the wall every day before breakfast.
Here’s what would happen: we would make a list of our most important business objectives, and Niamh would promptly work on other things. Phone vibrates: boom replying to WhatApp messages. Click on a link in one of messages: boom organized a playdate for our daughter. Open emails: boom answering all of them. Saw a file on her desktop: boom tinkering with that not so urgent presentation. Move to another room: boom new space with new things to do. You know what was close to her in the house? Yes, the kitchen. The kitchen got cleaned a lot (which, in fairness - our family reaps benefits from.)
4?? ADHD characteristic #4 - Everything all at once all the time
When you talk about business goals and your partner replies that we need to pick up our daughter at 2pm, buy groceries, contact two friends, plan that trip over the weekend, and yes clean the kitchen - it’s absolutely normal.
Compartmentalisation is not really a thing.
5?? ADHD characteristic #5 - ADHD folks always try to give it their best
Funny how it doesn’t always look like it. But it is true. We see it in our daughter, in our friends with ADHD, and thank God Niamh was able to express it to me because I didn’t see it initially. That’s actually how we got into the Pit of Despair: Niamh was trying her damned-est to make it work and I wasn’t seeing it.
One challenge for others is that some tasks can be completed effortlessly by ADHD-ers (intrinsic motivation = high energy) whereas others are like pushing a boulder up hill for them. Sometimes the nuance is not huge, and it makes it hard to notice. Also, inaction is not a lack of wanting to - the mind is racing but unable to move forward.
??So, what makes ADHD characteristics superpowers?
It’s all in the combining my friends. It works like this:
Look, I may be oversimplifying how the ADHD brain works, but this is how I understand it. Combine these characteristics and you have a brain that’s absolutely brilliant in the right environments.
You end up with strengths in the following categories (thank you ChatGPT for the list):
You know, totes amaze things that all the articles rehash. And if you haven't noticed, pretty great qualities when it comes to entrepreneurship.
What does that looks like in practice?
People who have seen Niamh facilitate will tell you: she’s absolutely phenomenal in a classroom. Why? Because everything comes together for her. She can improvise on the spot, bounce back unexpected questions and connect topics, tell stories while creating interactions, make people laugh, cry, reflect on themselves, etc. It’s literally: time is now + intrinsic motivation + proximity + everything all at once coming all together. Plus, each session feels different which is important for a brain that seeks novelty.
Allow me to illustrate this further with the art from my daughter. Yes I’m a proud father. Yes, I’m biased, but I believe it shows many of the strengths listed above in action.
My daughter spends several hours per day creating stuff. Art is the way she expresses herself. Her ADHD strengths come together in that space: hyperfocus, resilience, and creativity.
My daughter made the art above when she between 6-8 years old. In that time, she was asked to leave aftercare school and a summer camp, and had to change schools because the school didn’t support kids who had trouble adapting to their system. An art teacher told her off because she was painting with her hands in class.
It’s such as shame normies are forcing beautiful minds to adapt to their system, when it should be welcoming them.
You know what’s so frustrating about all this? The neurodivergent person is already trying to fit in. They are already worried it’s not going to work out. Our job then, as a society, is to create an environment where everyone can play to their strengths. Because we don’t know what anyone is capable of until we create the conditions for them to show us.
I've compiled my ADHD is bonkers articles at Midlife Stuntman - a newsletter where I share hard-won insights on chaos, growth, and life’s uncomfortable lessons. Sometimes funny. Very French tho.
Multitalented Transformation Facilitator / Singer-Songwriter / Storyteller & Creativity Channel
7 个月All neurotypical partners should have a talk with you. The world would be a better place to live for us neurodivergent in relationships! Thank you for your article and for making sense of the “mess”. Being neurotypical and understanding your neurodivergent partner with this depth requires SUPERPOWERS! So kudos to both of you and for the hope you are giving me on this topic ??
Full-time student - Psychology Conversion Course TCD; Part-time Learning Experience Researcher at Learnovate @TCD
1 年ADHD translated into beautiful talent... Pity we don't see the beauty and opportunity of that enough. Thanks for sharing, love reading these posts.
Writer - Storyteller | Survivor | Sightseer
1 年Only got a chance to comment now. My favourite of the installments so far. And can I say I was BLOWN away by Dara's art. She is clearly an exceptional child with a beautiful gift. I look forward to seeing more of her art as the years go by.
I love and feel so many aspects of this article EVERY day! Thank you for sharing and reminding us all, as a society, to pause, recognise & appreciate all the beautiful minds out there. And +1 to how astonishingly amazeballs Niamh McElwain is. You're a pretty rocking family altogether. P.s. can I get a ticket to Dara's art exhibition?
Director of Leadership & People Development l Career & Leadership Coach I Chartered MCIPD I ex Google
1 年She really is a phenemonal facilitator!!! And so much more :)