Addressing family violence is now an urgent business imperative #hernamewas

Content Warning: This article discusses violence against women and domestic violence.

Her name was Hannah Clarke. Mother of three children Lainanah, Aaliyah and Trey. Hannah was 31 years old. She was a fitness instructor and described as “just the most beautiful woman” and as “kind and strong”. Hannah and her children were allegedly murdered by the children’s father this week.  

How is this relevant to a professional networking medium like LinkedIn? Because we have all collectively failed Hannah and her children. Because we all, in particular leaders, have a responsibility to stop the family violence epidemic in Australia. One woman a week is murdered by her partner or ex-partner. 61 women in 2019. Do you remember their names? Domestic violence is the leading contributor to death, disability and illness in women aged 15-44 years. Our sisters, mothers, daughters, cousins and friends. 

Media coverage tends to remove agency from the perpetrator of family violence. Too often media stories name the perpetrator but not the victim, discuss his life in positive terms as a “devoted father” who was suffering stress or mental health issues from family custody conflict and marital separation and describing the murderous act as a “tragedy”. Fox Sports described Hannah’s alleged murderer as having "died alongside his estranged wife and three children in a car fire tragedy". SMH described a "car fire" as the cause of death. This is dangerous and inaccurate journalism as words matter. They shape culture and beliefs.

Tragically, women are most at risk in a DV relationship after leaving their violent partner. Research has shown violence had previously occurred in nearly 75% of familicide cases, especially those motivated by spousal revenge. Prior domestic violence is the greatest risk factor. Perpetrators either tend to view family members as possessions that they control or they do not see any boundaries between their identity, their wife and their children reflecting a pathological belief system of “you don’t get to leave me without being punished”. Separation violence is highly gendered violence. How many men do we see being murdered for leaving their relationships? Until this belief system changes, the impacts from it cannot be changed.

The other toxic cultural belief is that “she should have left him if he was dangerous.” Women do not leave abusive relationships because they are terrified. Being murdered by an ex-partner is the manifestation of this fear on a horrific and monstrous scale. We are asking the wrong questions entirely. Why is it that women cannot safely leave relationships that are hurting them without fear of retaliation, punishment, violence, or harm to their children? And how do we collectively take the necessary actions to make this possible?

Addressing family violence is a business imperative.

A significant number of individuals who experience domestic or family violence are in paid employment. Around two-thirds of women affected by domestic violence in this country are in some form of paid employment. What affects your employees affects employers and will damage productivity. Domestic violence is not something that can be neatly compartmentalised into what happens during or after the hours of 9 to 5.

Secondly, family violence is a significant financial cost to Australian business According to Access Economic, the cost of productivity losses are expected to rise to $609 million by 2021-2022, unless effective action is taken to address family violence. It is estimated that employers alone will bear 39% of these costs.

And thirdly, it is the morally right thing to do.

Corporate Australia has a huge role to play in shifting Australia’s family violence culture and belief systems. It starts with leadership. It starts with a complete intolerance for bullying and inequity in the workplace. With implementing a comprehensive family violence strategy that includes an explicit family violence policy, staff education and paid leave for victims. Creating a culture that enables safe conversations and support to occur to help victims leave safely. That validates bystander action when bad behaviour is witnessed. Reframing performance assessment, promotion and compensation mechanisms to guarantee that positive workplace behaviour is incentivised and abuse is not.

Employees need to speak up for each other and support those who have been targets of abuse. We need to be vigilant about what is going on in our own workplaces and call out inappropriate jokes, slants, or comments. Every one of us needs to send a clear signal that we will support victims and become their allies. Leadership has a moral and legal obligation to create psychological safety at work.Institutions and leaders need to strive to cultivate a context in which all people enjoy genuine respect, no matter their gender, race, sexuality or other social identity. The most effective way towards preventing family violence is to address the contexts that enable it.

I offer compassion, love and support to Hannah’s family and friends as they try to make sense of their appalling and inconceivable loss. I wish I had more to offer. Remember their names.  

Where to seek support

For emergencies requiring immediate assistance call Police or Ambulance 000

• Seek professional support - A GP, psychologist or social worker can assist you to gain insight into your situation and can provide counselling, risk assessment, safety planning and referral pathways to manage your situation effectively.
• 1800 RESPECT Telephone: 1800 737 732

Confidential national sexual assault, domestic family violence counselling service for people experiencing, or at risk of sexual or family violence, their family, friends, frontline workers and professionals

• Domestic Violence Crisis Service Telephone: 1300 782 200 After hours: Crisis Care 131 611

Provides crisis counselling, support and referral to safe accommodation.

• Domestic Violence and Aboriginal Family Violence Gateway Services Telephone: 1300 782 200 or Toll Free in SA: 1800 800 098 After hours and emergency telephone: 1800 800 098

Provides direct telephone services including counselling to people who have experienced domestic or family violence or abuse. This service will provide emergency accommodation for women with or without children escaping domestic or family violence, and referral to regional services for ongoing support and accommodation.

• Yarrow Place Rape and Sexual Assault Service Telephone: (08) 8226 8777 or Toll Free in SA: 1800 817 421 After Hours and emergency telephone: (08) 8226 8787

Provides direct services to people who have been raped or sexually assaulted and who were aged 16 years or more at the time of the assault.

• National Disability Abuse and Neglect Hotline Telephone: 1800 880 052

Receives allegations of abuse and neglect being experienced by people with a disability

• Kids Helpline Telephone:1800 551 800 Website: www.kidshelpline.com.au

Free 24/7 phone and online counselling for young people aged 5 to 25yrs.

• Mensline Australia Telephone: 1300 789 978

Support from men and boys who are dealing with family and relationship difficulties