Adding Meaning To Memorial Day - A Soldiers Perspective

When you think about it, it’s not surprising that US Veterans have a different perspective on Memorial Day than American’s who have never served. Only 7% of Americans alive have ever served in the U.S. military and currently only about 0.5% of the population is serving. That’s a pretty small part of the population, so it would make sense that most of us who never served might be missing something.

To get some perspective I asked two veterans, Steve Seroka and Nick Ripplinger what I thought would be a simple question:

What do you wish more people understood about Memorial Day, beyond the typical honoring those who gave their lives?

Though they live a country apart, served in different branches of the military at different levels, are separated by a generation and have different experiences their answers were remarkably the same:

Remember the Living Who Sacrificed

Although we know better, our holidays are focused on those who died (Memorial Day) those who are alive, and presumably fine (Veterans Day) and those who currently serve (Armed Forces Day). Lost in these observances are three groups of people. They are forgotten by the government and population as a whole.

But before sharing their insights I came to learn there is an important context those of us who haven’t served need to understand.

Understanding a Critical Element of Military Culture

In the military, unlike civilian life, the members learn to depend on each other. They learn to share their burdens and how to help each other. It’s a culture of cooperation and helping each other.

Military leadership is also more encompassing. The military leader is not only responsible for the well-being of the warrior (the term soldier applies only to the Army while warrior applies to all military branches), but also for the warrior’s family. A warrior knows that when he or she is being deployed someone will be available to help out at home if needed.

Civilian life couldn’t be more different. You’re on your own with no one to depend on and your offers to help are frequently turned away. The entire culture of caring and cooperation they’ve been a part of is frequently rejected and not offered. With this context in mind let’s remember these forgotten groups.

Those Who Will Never Recover

Medical advances help people live who would have died on the battlefield even a few years ago. They live with injuries you probably can’t even imagine. Sure you know about the amputees and those with PTSD, but what about the others? Did it ever occur to you that those are the “clean” injuries that are comfortable to show on TV and that are other more unsightly injuries? And that many will never recover from these injuries.

Whether they go home or spend the rest of their life in a hospital, it is often a difficult as well as boring existence. In many ways these warriors have sacrificed something bigger than their lives.

These are the people who need our help and our government’s help. When you hear stories of Veterans unable to see a doctor, remember these people. It’s not that they can’t see a doctor because they broke a leg surfing.

And remember they came from a culture where everyone helped. They aren’t looking for a handout or pity. Just the same kind of help they would offer, which might be as simple as companionship. Of course everyone’s needs are different. But in the military people ask and follow through. 

Families Left Behind

Many warriors have a spouse and children who impacted by death and injury. How do they cope with the loss of the person they knew and loved? An injury, whether disfiguring or not, is a loss to the family. Not only will they need to spend time caring for their loved one, in a way that most of us simply will not experience, but they lose their dreams for their futures. That dream vacation may not be possible. The father-daughter dance at her wedding - gone. Imagine too the impacts of a toddler too frightened to look at his father. 

Those Who Die After Coming Home – Veteran Suicides

Each day 22 veterans commit suicide. Unable to get assistance, feeling useless, abandoned and rejected, these men and women tragically take their own lives. You may not have thought about it, but we all have a contributing role in that loss of life, most like from our inactions, our lack of empathy, and our laziness to judge rather than understand what is happening and take some action.

“I thought that if you make it back from conflict then the dangers were all over. ~Wes Moore

The fact of the matter is that today coming home is more dangerous than going in to battle. 

Beyond “Thank you for your Service”

It’s become fashionable to thank active duty military and veterans for their service. It’s more than those who came back from Viet Nam heard. But it’s often a meaningless, rote phrase we say, rather than a genuine heartfelt expression of gratitude. 

… there's this fear and there's this apprehension that if I say anything, I'm afraid I'll offend, or I'm afraid I'll trigger something, so the common default is just saying nothing. The problem with that is then it feels like your service was not even acknowledged, like no one even cared. ~Wes Moore

This Memorial Day take a few minutes to remember those who sacrificed a piece of themselves, not just their life. Even better, ask a veteran or their family to share their experiences and listen attentively. 

#HonorTheFallen

Copyright ? 2016 by Larry Boyer. All rights reserved.

Notes: 

Steven Seroka,aka “The Colonel,” is a leadership development expert who also works with businesses and community groups to help them understand veteran needs and culture and how to successfully integrate veterans into their organization. He is 30-year Active Duty Colonel, USAF Fighter Pilot, Strategist & Leader and recently the Chief of Staff for Nevada’s largest business organization. He has extensive experience that includes the Pentagon, combat operations and a Washington DC think-tank and is currently the Nevada Vice-Chairman for Employer Support to the Guard and Reserve (ESGR).

Steven is also an sought after speaker. “Veterans are victorious” is what you will hear him say…and then will whisk you away on a wonderful mind’s eye journey full of ‘aha-moments’ of who our veterans really are and why they will be the source of our community’s next Renaissance. Learn how to unleash this amazing untapped resource for the benefit of your organization. 

Nick Ripplinger is leadership expert and the author of the best selling Front Line Leadership: Applying Military Strategies to Everyday Business. Nick was discharged from the US Army following a combat injury in Iraq and through the support of his family and strength of will continued his education, built a career and shares his experience and wisdom with others.

About the Author

Larry a Certified Business Economist?, Business Analytics Leader, and ICF credentialed coach who helps people and businesses navigate through technological change to be more successful. In 2009 he founded Success Rockets to help people navigate the rapidly changing and volatile economy. He enjoys thought provoking discussions and working with the interplay of people, processes and technology. He creates and shares content on Business & Advanced Analytics, Strategy, Leadership and Career Development. 

You can read additional articles about leadership, career development and analytics on Larry's author page. 

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