Addiction Recovery, Key #2: Self-Compassion

[excerpted from, 9 Keys to Addiction Recovery: Health Psychology ?2023]

Self-compassion, our 2nd key.

We could all use a little more self-compassion. All of these keys, by the way, support the wellbeing of all people – not only those in addiction recovery. But they’re especially useful if you are.

So now that we’ve established a bit of rootedness in identifying meaning in our life, we give ourselves a bit of love.

Sure, you may have done some pretty awful things while in active addiction – many do – or perhaps you isolated from friends and family, or something else that brings a bit of shame.

Love yourself.

No ‘yes, but’ – just love. And compassion. You were in active addiction. And/or, you were in some other way compromised. You were not your best self. Forgive yourself.

Easier said than done, I know. And yet, it’s exactly that: a choice. We put the negative things we’ve said and done, that bring us shame or dismay, to one side long enough to give ourselves the love and compassion that we need, and that we deserve – on the basis of our humanity, however flawed. (And we are all flawed.)

Indeed, you need self-compassion now, in your healing, along with self-love and forgiveness, more than ever.

Self-compassion is associated closely with mindfulness practice, as we will see later on. We can practice this in a variety of ways, however, detailed in the exercises section below. As a sampling, you can develop affirmations of self-compassion, keep a journal, brainstorm about your positive qualities, and many other approaches to be discussed.

The value of self-compassion and self-forgiveness to psychological wellbeing have been demonstrated in a recent study by Maynard et al. (2023). Compassion-focused therapy groups were conducted over a 12-week period; themes that emerged included the overall benefit to personal change, in decreased self-condemnation, increased emotional and cognitive agency, and mood regulation.

We can see the value of self-compassion specifically for addiction recovery in a wide array of recent research, beginning with the narrative review conducted by Chen (2019), a professor in Israel. She identifies self-compassion as a strategy for emotional regulation, by which unpleasant emotions are accepted through kindness and understanding toward oneself. The review assessed the role of self-compassion as a component of recovery capital, in that this positive emotional attitude toward oneself helps one to develop both personal and social resources.

In an online survey study by Phelps et al. (2018), of 477 participants with an average age of 31 and a risk of substance use disorder, self-compassion was demonstrated as a protective factor. Approximately half of the respondents were categorized as low risk, another 37% at moderate risk, and 11% for high risk; self-compassion was beneficial to risk reduction across all groups.

Another survey study, including 153 inpatients in a US-based addictions treatment facility (Shreffler et al., 2022), demonstrated self-compassion to be significantly associated with both personal growth and wellbeing. In this way, self-compassion contributes directly to the recovery process. In another inpatient study with 100 participants, conducted in Egypt (Shahin et al., 2021), self-compassion and spiritual wellbeing were shown to reduce withdrawal symptoms, specifically cravings. Among Iranian women addicted to methamphetamine, cravings were also reduced and self-efficacy – a sense of capability – increased in association with self-compassion, in a clinical trial conducted by Abdoli et al. (2021); further, the relapse rate at one-year follow-up was 27.7% in the self-compassion intervention group, compared to 75.7% in the control group.

In the pilot study of a trauma-informed mindfulness program for opioid users in recovery with histories of childhood trauma (Moore et al., 2022), self-compassion increased while negative feelings toward oneself decreased; self-compassion was further strengthened in terms of self-directed kindness, and an increased sense of humanity.

A Canadian study was conducted among First Nation reserve-dwelling adolescents, categorized as high-risk for alcohol addiction and with histories of intergenerational trauma (Spillane et al., 2022). Results demonstrated that self-compassion was significantly associated with lower risk of alcohol use disorder, and also with less alcohol use frequency and fewer alcohol-related problems, thus overall lower risk of future addiction development.

So how can we increase our capacity for self-compassion – especially in early recovery, when one tends to be overcome with remorse and shame, and it may be even more necessary?

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Exercises:

Begin with a brainstorming exercise as before, this time to generate your positive qualities. If you’re in early recovery, this may be more challenging; suspend judgment as much as possible, write your name in the center of a blank sheet of paper, and surround it with positive words that apply to you. Anything is fair play, as long as it’s positive. Afterward, reflect.

Develop one affirmation of self-compassion, such as, “I’m loveable and capable” or “I’m worthy” or “I’m a good person”. Tell yourself this as often as possible throughout each day. Say it aloud, repeat it silently in your mind, breathe it in and out, meditate on it, say it as you stand before a mirror and look yourself deep in the eyes, write it in a journal or even a random piece of paper. Live and breathe it, until you’ve integrated it – then start with a new one.

Keep a journal of self-compassion. With some regularity, write in it – encouraging letters to yourself, lists of your positive qualities, messages of forgiveness, descriptions of how you’re being kind to yourself, anything else that brings kindness and compassion and love from you, to you.

Give yourself a small gift each week. This can be anything, and doesn’t need to cost money. Perhaps you give yourself permission to sleep in one day. Or you visit puppies at the pet shop. Or you listen to your favorite playlist for hours. Or you soak in a long bath. Or you have a favorite food. The list is endless. It’s not meant to be self-indulgent – but to be self-nurturing. Think about that.

Meditate on yourself as a child. Sit comfortably, distractions minimized, mind quieted, breathing slow and steady. Once you feel peaceful, imagine yourself as a young child at whatever age feels like a favorite. Gaze at this image of yourself, and radiate love toward that little child. Imagine holding this child in a close and loving hug, heart to heart, giving the child-you all that he/she needs and wants, all the unconditional love and none of the judgment, pure happiness. Stay with this for as long as you want. Reflect on it afterward. Repeat often.

Whenever you become aware of your inner critic – whenever you notice that you’re being judgmental or critical of yourself, say aloud: Stop. (If others are nearby, you can just laugh and say it’s a little reminder to yourself. Anyone would understand that.) Do this whenever you notice; it will stop the current negative thinking, interrupt the pattern, and begin to rewrite it, stronger each time.

Write in your journal about something from your past that you feel ashamed of, embarrassed by, or simply wish you’d done differently. Then, write what you’d say to a close friend if this was their story instead – if they’d just confided in you this incident and how bad they felt about it. Give yourself all the compassion and understanding that you’d give to your good friend, if the story were theirs instead of yours. Finally, rewrite that story, and focus on this new version for a while.

9 Keys to Addiction Recovery, by Anne Hilty, ?2023

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References:

Abdoli N, Farnia V, Radmehr F et al. (2021). The effect of self-compassion training on craving and self-efficacy in female patients with methamphetamine dependence: A one-year follow-up. Journal of Substance Use 26:5, 491-496. https://doi.org/10.1080/14659891.2020.1851406

Chen G. (2019). The Role of Self-Compassion in Recovery from Substance Use Disorders. OBM Integrative and Complementary Medicine 4:2, 026. https://doi.org/10.21926/obm.icm.1902026

Maynard PG, van Kessel K, and Feather JS (2023). Self-forgiveness, self-compassion and psychological health: A qualitative exploration of change during compassion focused therapy groups. Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice 96, 265-280. https://doi.org/10.1111/papt.12435

Moore SK, Okst K, Smith L et al. (2022). “Today I Can Look in the Mirror and Like Myself”: Effects of a Trauma-Informed Mindful Recovery Program on Self-Compassion. Frontiers in Psychology 13:780383. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.780383

Phelps CL, Paniagua SM, Willcockson IU et al. (2018). The relationship between self-compassion and the risk for substance use disorder. Drug and Alcohol Dependence 183, 78-81. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.drugalcdep.2017.10.026

Shahin MAH, Hamed SA, and Taha SM (2021). Correlation of self-compassion and spiritual well-being with drug craving in people with substance use disorders. Middle East Current Psychiatry 28:50. https://doi.org/10.1186/s43045-021-00132-6

Shreffler J, Thomas JJ, McGee S et al. (2022). Self-compassion in individuals with substance use disorder: The association with personal growth and well-being. Journal of Addictive Diseases 40:3, 366-372. https://doi.org/10.1080/10550887.2021.2005382

Spillane NS, Schick MR, Goldstein SC et al. (2022). The protective effects of self-compassion on alcohol-related problems among first nation adolescents. Addiction Research & Theory 30:1, 33-40. https://doi.org/10.1080/16066359.2021.1902994

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