Addiction In The Creative Industry

My name is Jason and I’m recovering addict.?If that means you don’t want to work with me now, that’s on you.

Some people have preconceptions of addicts.?They think we’re all trolls that lived under bridges squirting toxins into our eyeballs.?And in some cases, that is accurate.?But chances are you’re reading this having known me for a while, possibly having even done business with me or hired me and have no idea that I was under the influence of things that were eroding my life on a daily basis.

You see, addiction is a disease.?It’s a disease of wanting more of anything that makes you not deal with life on life's terms and it doesn’t have to be drugs.?It could be exercise, sex, work, food, dieting, relationships... whatever.

I started out as a fantastic liar as a kid.?Almost living in a parallel universe where I wished everything was rosy and lied about it being so.?The ability to live a life conjured up in my head was easier than living my life.?Seems ungrateful to my folks doesn’t it??I love them dearly and they did what they could for us.?I can tell you first-hand that addiction is nothing to do with upbringing or financial circumstance.?I’ve seen as many silver spoons in fellowship meetings as I have people that have suffered hardship.?I was a loved child.?I just felt like I didn’t belong.

You see, addiction is without boundaries and non-discriminatory.?It will take whomever it can.

Skip to 2001, I got injured playing football and slipped two discs in my back, so my weapon of choice from the age of 22 to 38 were painkillers.?Lots of them.?Then they stopped working so I "progressed" and crossed lines I always said I'd never cross.

First it’s fun.?Then it’s fun with consequences.?Then it’s just consequences.

Addiction quickly stripped me of my family and my job, so I was, after a lot of trying, able to notice the problem and was fortunate enough to pull up of my own accord.?It wasn't simple though.?When you go to narcotics anonymous you get a white keyring for a new start and I have enough white keyrings to tile my bathroom, so I can attest to it being tough.

Some are less fortunate and don’t get to spot the problem and pull up at all, and the addiction elevator only goes one way.

I stopped taking what I was taking and took up running as a now-retired footballer.?I then decided to run 4 marathons on 4 consecutive weekends and managed to dress it up as a charity thing so nobody panicked.? It was far from problem solved.

One day at a time life has become what I wanted it to be and you know, I wouldn’t change a thing as it’s made me the grateful man that can look you in the eye today.?I’m now 5 years clean.

Of course I wish I could take back all the pain and aggravation I caused but I can’t.?Instead I surrender, accept what I did, apologise and move on.

My life has turned around entirely for the better, but it's not all sunshine and rainbows.?Bad things still happen, but I can tell for a fact that the worst day sober is still better than the best day using.

I have my children 50% of the time, and am a good dad.?I also have the great fortune of running my own font foundry around my life as a father. The man I am today stands atop a mountain made of many dead versions of myself.

I've fought many battles in my life.?I've fought a $1bn corporation, I've battled some worthy foes on the football pitch, marathons, and physical injuries, but I'll never fight anything as hard as mental health problems.?Ironically you don't win a battle with mental health until you surrender to it.

I’m not the only one in creative land who’s had these problems and with the hours we work, the pressure we’re under and the lifestyle characteristics that the agency world can sometimes carry it’s going to be a problem for more than a few.?The purpose of this article is simply to tell anyone out there that has any identification with my past that you're not alone. There is a way out, especially after the year that has been and the festive season that can be so difficult.?Call me. Call Narcotics Anonymous. Call Alcoholics Anonymous. Call Samaritans. Call a friend.?But first look at yourself and ask if there’s a problem.?You’ll know in your heart if you’re in the shit and the worst person you can continue to lie to is yourself.

Be cool to each other.

Jx