Add Some "Charm" to Your Relationship!

I hope you enjoy and EVOLVE with just one of the powerful chapters of my book, 7 Ways to Love! Many charm their partner in the beginning; sharing your best self, listening your best, supporting your best, smiling your best, and going the whole nine yards to impress! I’m not sure when it started, but little by little the charm starts to fade. Real life enters the picture with its schedules, jobs, kids, etc… and the easy justification become, “there’s no time”, “We are comfortable now”, or the worst of them all “I have him/her already… I don’t have to do that anymore”. Think back to the beginning; the gifts, notes, conversation, flirting, and all that got you going… is that really no longer attractive?

Nothing hits harder than life… I’m sure you’re busy, right? So what! You and every other person in the world is busy doing whatever is important to them. If you let busy beat your relationship, you will be busy and alone! If this does not appeal to you… let’s put the excuses away and upgrade your charm-life! Most men and women I’ve met, spoke with, and conducted forums with exclaimed a need to feel wanted and desired; not only physically… but emotionally and mentally. How do you charm your partner and make them feel attractive, desired, and wanted?

Here are a few more ideas:

-        Date Nights: I know a scheduled date night doesn’t sound the most romantic; in this life of schedules, kids, work, etc… putting it on the calendar may be the best thing. Spice it up by taking turns. One month, you plan the date. The next month, you significant other… this allows for a mixture of a plan, spontaneity, and excitement.

-        Meet your significant other at an agreed place. This takes away the mundane… peeling yourself off the couch and debating between channel surfing or the hassle of getting ready to go out.

-        Dress it up around the house and while going out

-        Text each other throughout the day sweet little nothings

-        Choose new places to go in your community. The goal is to create an experience not continue the mundane. My wife and I agreed years ago to choose smaller independent restaurants to visit. Even if we do not enjoy the food, we had a new experience to enjoy, share with others, and remember. The Sharing with others is important; as you have a new experience it become natural you wish to share it. You now find yourself talking to others about an experience with your partner in the story. Remember… your thoughts guide your feelings, then your actions, and end with your consequences. As you share your experience, you are thinking positively about your partner, feeling good about your relationship, and return to them in a more loving way. Try it!

-        Give compliments often… do it over the phone, text, e-mails,… but please do it face to face and eye to eye. You have become desensitized to eye to eye, as you are head down all day buried in your phone or computer. Don’t let the first and last time you made real eye-contact with your partner be at the alter for your wedding day.

-        Surprise gifts of whatever it is they like, enjoy, or love. Gifts are not always material, although surprise flowers or tickets to a favorite event is great!

-        Learn the power of love and respect. Generally, women want unconditional love. How does she liked to be loved? Generally, men want unconditional respect for his willingness to protect, provide, and connect with you sexually and as a companion. Notice, I said willingness, he may not be the toughest guy in the world to protect, or make the most money to provide, but most likely he wants to do these things. Do you know what respect means to him? There are a lot of men suffering in silence and dying in relationships because partners believe that men are strong enough to take all of the things hurtful, harmful, and mean things said in arguments.

-        Don’t forget to be yourself! Hopefully, you were you in the beginning of your relationship. As life changes, relationships change, and sometime you change too. Be you, accept your partner as them, and just enjoy! Do you know if your partner has changed? Is that ok? How will you learn your partner’s new self, accept them, and enjoy them?

Yes, these things are easier to do if you are genuinely in love and still like your significant other. If things have soured… and you are still interested in making your relationship work… please do not wait to feel the love again to try this. That may never come and may never return to the feeling you think you are waiting for. Start where you are, with what you have, and do these things even if they feel uncomfortable.

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