Adapting for success: embracing uncertainty and navigating change

All of the executive coaching clients I am partnering with are currently experiencing change. Some are transitioning into a new role, adapting to working with a new boss, a few are being made redundant, being been fired, getting a divorce and a parent has been diagnosed with terminal illness. You name it, it is happening to the senior leaders around me right now.

The thing about change is that it throws some or all parts of our life up into the air. We are often left in a state of flux for a period of time. This happens regardless of whether we initiated the change, or if it was imposed upon us through external factors.

When we are in this transition period, we are often waiting for the different elements of our life to fall back into place and settle down, but here is the thing – sometimes not everything comes back to us, and some aspects of our life are no longer meant for us. This creates space for the new although often there is a gap before it materialises.

Honour the space between no longer and not yet - Nancy Levin

And just to top it all off, the route to our new destination can be vastly different than we expected. Plus the timing of all of this frequently does not match our original plan. Life?!

Because of all of this uncertainty, when we are in transition we have a propensity to try to grab and force aspects of our life, or people, back into their rightful place to create calm again. I was what I refer to as a chronic ‘change enforcer’ using my tenacity and energy against myself whilst choosing to shift parts of my life.

I have always loved change. I believed in my own agency to improve my lot and focus on what I could control, however sometimes that list of what I thought I could influence was far too long! So, I could get in my own way by blocking the change by trying to make it happen in the way I thought was best.

One of the great aspects about having breast cancer a few years ago was that I did not have my usual energy to control and make things happen. I had to stop and allow. I had to sit, wait and observe the changes taking place around me – all of them were initiated by being diagnosed which was something I could not control. Although it kick started a flow of other life changes that I decided to make.

Given my very low energy levels, I was forced to see what was meant to fall into place and to notice what was moving away, then let it happen naturally instead of trying to influence it all according to my version of the way things needed to be.

I have learnt that thriving through change is working out when to throw one’s efforts into making something different and then when to wait to allow the dust to settle.

All great changes are often preceded by chaos - Deepak Chopra

Change typically creates chaos around us and most of us do not do chaos well. We like certainty. Certainty is safe and creates stability, however too much stability can mean we get stuck.

When we are stuck for long periods of time, we often focus on what is not working more than what is. We blame others for our current state. We make excuses for our discontentment. We can desensitise to our surroundings to convince ourselves it is not that bad. We get even more stuck, plus resentful.

So, change is good for us, right? Well it is. However, it is also terrifying and tiring at times to take a leap of faith and accept a new job, end that relationship, or change how we are choosing to show up to others in a big way.

When we make shifts in our life it forces those around us to re-elevate their circumstances and sometimes they attempt to make us feel bad for our decisions to make themselves feel better. This helps them justify why they should stay the same and they might try to convince us why we should do so too.

Change requires us to befriend both our fear and courage. It demands a tremendous amount of energy and that is why so many of us stay the same. Yet change enables us to step out of our safety zone, and this in turn allows us to learn and evolve.

The more changes we make, the braver, wiser and more experienced we get. We end up gaining much more than we ever thought was possible.

The trick in making changes is to not get too caught up in forcing and controlling the shifts. It is to allow some parts of us, or our life, to naturally move away to create space for the new. And to trust that it will all be okay in the end.

For those of you making changes in your life right now, are you sitting in that state of flux and allowing it all to fall into place over time? Or are you regretting making the shift, or being a change enforcer? I wonder how you can lean more into the discomfort. What can you hold more lightly as this transition period will not last forever?

Here are a few questions to ponder:

• What part of your working or personal life do you want to change, but are too afraid to do so? Speak to someone who has already made that shift for inspiration. Take one small step towards where you want to be today.
• Are you trying to control an aspect of your life instead of allowing it to unfold? Give yourself two weeks to stop forcing things and notice what happens.

If you are wanting a guide on the side to support you through a significant change at work, then my 1:1 executive coaching approach could be for you - read more below https://www.thrivingpeopleconsulting.com/coaching/1_1-executive-coaching/

We can only change what we are willing to see in ourselves - Rebecca Christianson

What change are you proud of making in the last year?

Rebecca Christianson

Founder & CEO – Thriving People Consulting