Actually, People CAN Handle the Truth

People who regularly tune in to this newsletter tell me that one of the reasons they do so is because they feel like they can “hear my voice” when they read it.

I like to write in a straight forward, “tell it like it is” style.

It’s not super polished nor egalitarian.

I don’t try to pretend I’m some intellectual or Professor or influential business savant — I’m just a guy with lots of random rants, thoughts and observations swimming around in his head, and I need somewhere to get it out so my wife and kids don’t kill me.

With that in mind, I try to be efficient with my words and get ideas on the page that are easy to process.

My goal is to share an authentic point of view or tell a story in about 4-5 min or less that I hope may entertain you, make you think or provide some value to you. The majority of the time this comes from a good place.

And if you know me personally, you know this is pretty much how I have always operated.

Like it or not, what you see is what you get. I guess you could say that deep down in places you don’t like to talk about at parties, there is a reason I still stop and recite the whole Jack Nicholson?monologue when I re-watch “A Few Good Men.”

I’ve thought a lot about why it is I choose to communicate this way. Why be so blunt or direct when I could be a bit more soft spoken? Why be willing to dole out a proverbial kick in the gut followed by the hug versus just giving a long, soothing hug and telling someone everything will be alright?

I come back to two underlying factors:

1. I believe people are more resilient than we give them credit for
2. More importantly,?it’s how I would like to be treated myself.

Sure no one likes a swift kick to the midsection — least of all, me. I’m not cold hearted or mean. I won’t tell you your baby is ugly or that outfit makes you look fat.

On the other hand, if needed, I am one of those people who will definitely let you know that your zipper is down, you have food in your teeth or that you have been walking around with a big booger hanging out of your nose.

People usually deserve to hear the truth when it needs to be said, not because I want to hurt someone’s feelings or enjoy making them feel bad about themselves, but because so increasingly often in this world, we don’t get truth or authenticity. Instead we get bullshit.

When you think about it, what hurts worse:?the truth or finding out later what you thought was the truth was really all BS?

Sometimes it is best to just be efficient with the words and make it all easy to process.

Again, once you get to know me, you get this. But I found myself in a number of conversations recently with people who don’t know me and, well, it was interesting….

As I get older I’m realizing how little truth we all hear, particularly in verbal communication, on daily basis. We tend to get platitudes, posturing, jargon, passive aggression. It’s so easy to click the “thumbs up” emoji or say “bless your heart” and move on.

So when you actually talk truth, people (hate to say it, but particularly men) don’t know how to handle it.

They immediately think you are running some sort of game or you mean something other than what you are saying. They can’t believe you are being straight—?even when the words you are saying are meant to help them.

Once they get over being stunned by the?radical candor,?stop overthinking and just process what they heard, they usually relax more. In many cases, they even?thank me?and say it was?“refreshing”?to hear something authentic that may come across as a hard truth.

So, in the end, I guess I must be doing something right with this approach. But why does it have to be so complicated? Why can’t people just default to being more direct with each other and tell it like it is?

This is where Col. Nathan R. Jessup got it wrong:?people CAN handle the truth.

XOXO

Dave

This was adapted from the June 10, 2023 intro to my weekly "Friends of Dave" newsletter, which is accompanied by interesting links I curate each week. If you would like to see past full issues, please click here (note: NOW ON?Substack)>>>?https://friendsofdave.substack.com/