Practice "Active Serendipity": The Super Bowl's Great Lesson

Matthew Stafford’s long-overdue “moment” at the Super Bowl – and his road to get there – underscore the power of what I call “active serendipity.” It is now legend that Stafford got his big break to play QB for the LA Rams, after 12 years with the hapless Detroit Lions, because he had a “chance” encounter with Rams’ head coach Sean McVay in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico after the end of last year’s season. The two literally bumped into each other when they stayed at the same resort – a conversation ensued – and “yada yada” the mega-trade followed.

So the fate of all involved – Stafford, McVay, the Rams, the Rams’ fans – are chalked up to “coincidence” and “luck.”

But I disagree. I chalk it all up to all involved being “fortunate” (not lucky) because of Stafford’s “active serendipity” (rather than mere coincidence).

What’s the difference, you ask? “Luck” and “coincidence” imply no sense of agency – no power of any kind to influence events. But that is not what happened here. Once last season ended, Stafford didn’t simply stay at home in Detroit to mull the season over. Rather, he and his wife decided to clear their heads and process the events of that season – and where they would go from there – by actively deciding to travel to Cabo. In other words, Stafford put himself out in the world, injecting himself into its bloodstream which enabled serendipity (not luck) to happen. Active being the operative word here. Stafford practiced “active serendipity” – and the universe responded by injecting him into the world of McVay and the Rams. And all lives - and NFL history - changed because of it.

Here’s a personal example of “active serendipity” – related to the Super Bowl in a way – that deeply changed the course of my life in every respect. Dr. Dre, of course, hosted this year’s halftime show. And Dre – and his former legendary rap group N.W.A. – hold a special place in my life because I met my then-future (and current) wife, Luisa, because of my representation of the group “back in the day.”

One night back in 1993, N.W.A.’s manager, Jerry Heller, asked me to join him for dinner to discuss the case I handled for them as a young lawyer at the time. We met at an LA restaurant on a Tuesday night. I was in no mood to join, but I decided to do it anyway. And it was that evening that I saw Luisa for the first time – she was hosting that night, at that restaurant, while finishing up her final year at USC. And I made a move that forever changed the course of our lives. I got up from my chair, asked her for her number, miraculously got it, and the rest is history. Here we are nearly 30 years later, with two amazing kids and a wonderful life.

And here’s the deal. I almost didn’t go out that night! But I did. I practiced “active serendipity.” I put myself “out there” into the world – in a position to make things happen – and they did. And if I hadn’t done that, my life would be radically different than it is (and our wonderful kids wouldn't be with us today).

That’s why I don’t believe in just plain dumb “luck” or “coincidence.” I think of these kinds of moments – and the lessons to be learned from them – very differently. I think of them as moments of “active serendipity.” Putting yourself in a position for things to happen. This means in all aspects of your life. Personal. Professional. All of it.

I counsel and mentor countless young people – and this is what I always tell them. Get out there into “the mix.” Get out of your comfort zone. Get up out of your chair. Out of your home or apartment. Venture out. Meet people. Strike up a conversation. Ask out that person. THAT is how "it" is going to happen. All of "it."

Practice active serendipity. The more moments you put yourself out there, the more opportunities you give “the universe” to change the arc of your life. The opportunities. The special moments. The special people. The lasting experiences.