Active Listening and Small Business
Active listening is listening to understand not respond.?
In my career, this has been a tool I have tried to master throughout the years. It has helped me understand others, reduce cognitive biases, and build lasting relationships.?It’s not something I was good at earlier in my career.?I learned how through practice.?I am still practicing many years later!?Ha!
Early in my sales career, I noticed that people were touched when I asked questions (what do you mean by XXXX), used empathy, clarified points (what I thought I heard you say), and used their name in conversations. My perception is not their perception – so in sales, it’s best not to make assumptions.?Our experience shapes our perception which in turn produces cognitive bias (our brain makes quick decisions and assumptions based on our personal experiences), so it is best to ask questions and clarify to truly understand what someone else is saying.
Many of you reading this article are thinking – I actively listen.?Many of us think we actively listen, but we really don't.
Here is an example – I was recently on a webinar with 4 people at a company. Mary was explaining in a few sentences that she was trying to figure out if teaching classes should be a part of her business’ services.?David immediately said yes, you can take classes to learn XXXXX.?Kyle piped in, he agreed and said his two cents on learning.?I then say – Mary – what I thought I heard you say was you wanted to teach classes.?Mary replies – yes, I was talking about selling them not taking them.?
2 of 4 people heard something much different than what was said. Their perception and cognitive biases played into their quick responses.?
Keep in mind that this was not the first time that Mary had brought up teaching classes.
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That is just one professional example of an active listening fail. We can learn how to active listen, but some don't understand that they have a listening opportunity. Listening fails happen every day – it is why communication fails. ?Our brains are powerful tools – they make quick decisions and assumptions, which are sometimes helpful (bad gut feeling) and others impact how we receive information (making assumptions), which is not as helpful.?
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I can say the exact same thing to multiple people.?Each one may hear a similar but different story.?Understanding that people’s experiences play such a powerful role in how they communicate is paramount. We should listen in a way that leaves no room for assumptions.
Active listening is a great tool for personal relationships too – not just in business – using active listening in personal relationships will help lead to long-lasting relationships. With the growth of the internet and social – our online and digital consumption has reached new heights.?We now have the power to instantly access information at anytime from anywhere. Artificial intelligence is showing you information based on your searches or from other people that have been on your wifi. For some folks, this can lead to assumptions. Let’s go through some tips on how to actively listen and leave assumptions behind!
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In the modern day, listening has never been more critical. Listening has also become harder to properly do as the market evolves into more online space. This causes us to lose the chance to respond to cues we get in person, such as facial expressions, tone of voice, and any other non-verbal social cues we usually perceive in in-person interactions. Striving to master the art of listening will help you relate to those you work with, gain respect for yourself, and improve your networking ability by making you more desirable to communicate with.
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Listen to understand, not respond.
Active listening is one of the most important skills you can and should learn. Despite this, the skill is greatly overlooked. One of the biggest things holding people back from mastering the skill of listening is that they are just hearing what’s being said, not listening. The difference between the two is that you're focusing on responding when it comes to hearing. When you listen, you’re focused on understanding. It’s very easy for us to jump to the desire to respond and get into the presenting or pitching mindset that many people are trained to adopt in their jobs. According to Harvard Business Review,?“78% of accredited undergraduate business schools list ‘presenting’ as a learning goal, only 11% identified ‘listening.’”. Presenting is essential, but you can’t do it to the best of your ability if you don’t properly listen to what the other person is saying and try to understand their views.
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How do you improve your ability to listen?
Training yourself to be an active listener isn’t a one-and-done task. It takes discipline, persistence, and the ability to adapt as the situation evolves. You will have to work on this skill consistently, but the improvements it will provide to your relationships, business, and personal life will be worth the effort. Below are some ways you can improve your active listening skills.
Focus on the other person’s voice, not the voice in your head
When we are listening to someone speak, our brain is not only analyzing what they’re saying but also taking notes on your thoughts and perceptions of the words being said. You need to focus on what the person is saying to you as much as you can and not the thoughts going on in your head. If you don’t block out the internal thoughts, your ability to understand what the other person is saying is limited.
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Maintain eye contact and ask questions
The key to understanding, and therefore active listening, is to receive and note as much information from the other person as possible. To do this, ask them questions that dive deeper into the discussed topic and maintain eye contact during the convo. This will help you get a much more rounded perception of what they are saying, while showing engagement.
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Have empathy
Empathetic listening is reflecting or acknowledging the emotions back that we think we hear from the person speaking. Good or bad - we also want to encourage and support the person speaking. Here is an example - I can feel your frustration; I hate that you are dealing with XXXX, but know you got this!
Take notes
This tip can be handy in person and online, where many people communicate now. According to Forbes, “we only remember 25–50% of what we hear.” this means that your ability to take notes on what you’re listening to can be a crucial component in being able to remember more of what is being said, and therefore will improve your ability to understand. Taking notes will look different to each person depending on what is easiest and most understandable to them. Highlight important parts of the message; if you received more information from past interactions, mark those callbacks so you can keep track of them.
Summarize. Use comments the other person made in your responses. Use the person's name.
This may seem odd to include because it is about responding, but it helps your ability to listen just as much as it strengthens your response. Repeating someone’s words (and name) back to them in your response shows them that you took the time to listen to them and allows you to enhance your response by gaining the other person’s appreciation. Taking the time to connect your words to theirs means you had to take a moment and properly think about what they said and create a meaningful connection to their words.
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Don’t speak until the other person is done. Don't interject or interrupt.
Sometimes, your brain will latch onto an idea or comment you have, and you’ll feel the need to interject to get the thought out. Do not do this. This is part of your brain’s internal thoughts and means you will be too focused on yourself internally and unable to focus on the other person’s words. Interrupting the other person could also make them lose track of what they were saying, or they will feel their voice is not being respected. Both responses to this can cause you not to be able to understand and hinder your ability to be an active listener.
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Eliminate as many distractions as you can.
?Eliminating distractions from your environment is key to focusing on listening. Suppose you have objects or other people in the environment that could take your attention away from the person talking. Your brain will struggle to focus on one topic at a time, limiting your ability to comprehend what’s being talked about. Doing this will show whoever is talking that you respect their time and words because you’re doing whatever you can to ensure they’re focused.
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For more tips on improving your active listening ability, check out these articles below.
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Hope this article was informative and helpful!?Understanding and practicing active listening is a powerful tool.
Leadership Coach + Consultant
1 年I wish I knew all of this 20+ years ago, this is a skill we should learn in our youth, everyone would benefit.
Sr. Consultant, Quality Assurance, LSSBB, CMQ-OE, PMP
1 年Very true. Active listening is one of the best improvement techniques out there. Often times customers and employees will make casual comments about a product, service, or process that identifies an improvement or growth opportunity. LCALI – Listen, Capture, Analyze, Learn, & Improve.
One of the top business and leadership experts in the world.
1 年Fantastic post!!!