Active Listening, an Essential Skill

Active Listening is a skill for effective communication, understanding, and comprehension.?It helps build trust and confidence.? In communication, active listening is critical, and it is the most important skill a leader or facilitator has.? It is the beginning of Critical Thinking…

Active listening replaces arguments and pitting the opinions of one person against another.? As an active listener, you feed back what the other person said or expressed.? When you do that, it serves several purposes:

• The other person experiences being heard – listened to.
• It helps you understand the essence, or the core message, inherent in the other person’s communication.
• The other person is formulating thoughts on the spot and the feedback helps him or her to further develop the thought process.? The act of communication affects what is being communicated.
• You communicate an attitude of openness and comprehension.

Note: Exercising Active Listening lays the foundation for clarity and understanding – the first step to collaboration and critical thinking.?

Stages of Active Listening...

Active listening involves four stages:

• CONTACT – Connect with the speaker by using eye contact, an open posture, and sub verbal responses (e.g., nodding).? Do not interrupt!? Listen first.?
• ABSORB – Take in all aspects of what is being said – implicit and explicit.? Pay attention to nonverbal clues.? Do not judge or evaluate.? Do not analyze – it gets in the way of hearing.? If questions pop into your head, dismiss them – they are premature.? Do not try to understand.? Note: This is the most difficult stage – people do not do this instinctively.? We generally analyze or evaluate what is being said instead of listening.
• REFLECT – Feed back what you heard.? Use the speaker’s words (including jargon), although not necessarily word-for-word.?This includes content (what the person said or expressed) and context (how the person said it or expressed it).? This is when understanding comes in – you analyze while you reflect.? Questions may arise, ask them now – and listen to the answer.?
• CONFIRM – Receive confirmation from the speaker that you heard and understood the message accurately.

Feeding Back...

Feeding back what the speaker said or expressed relies on one of these three techniques:

• SYNTHESIS – Shape the fragments of the message into a whole.? This is done especially when more than one person is speaking at the same time.? Note: Synthesis is a form of critical thinking – see below.
• SUMMARIZE – Much communication occurs without foresight – i.e., people speak without thinking.? Often more words are used than necessary.? When you summarize, use the speaker’s words boiled down to its essence or core message.? Note: Be careful not to filter it with your own meaning or intention.
• PARAPHRASE – Expressing what the speaker said, not necessarily word-for-word, while preserving the original meaning or intention.

When you actively listen to people and feedback what they say, they begin to hear what is really being said.

Note: Once the people hear each other’s underlying concerns, they can work towards meeting both their needs.? Dialog begins.

Active Listening is a powerful skill.? Exercising Active Listening sets an example for everyone and lays the foundation for clarity and understanding.? The first step to collaborating is listening!

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