Active listening advice from a professional yapper

Anyone who knows me IRL knows I like to talk.?

I can find a way to talk about virtually anything: age-defying skincare, Chat-GPT prompts, the latest in reality television, what I think about during Shavasana, world politics, things I’ve seen on the NYC subway, the latest microtrends on social media, serial killers, and who makes the best hummus in town. The list is almost infinite.?

In elementary school, every report card said, “Mollie is a pleasure to have in class, but she talks too much.” My parents never reprimanded me for it, knowing that my knack for socializing would benefit me in the real world. They encouraged my desire to communicate from an early age, entertaining my queries from the backseat of our minivan and allowing me to participate in conversations with the adults at dinner parties.??

They were right to do so; I’ve made a career out of talking.???

At its core, sales is a profession that rewards individuals for their ability to communicate effectively and control the conversation. Sales enablement teams spend countless hours training reps to ask strategic discovery questions and combat objections, all to keep the ball moving in the right direction. It goes a little bit like this:

• The sales rep makes a statement followed by a pointed question, hoping for a specific response so they can start building “value.”
• The prospect pushes back and objects to the sales rep’s statement, maybe even counters.
• The sales rep handles the objection with a canned response and then pushes forward with the subsequent discovery question, which is veiled with criticism of how the prospect and their team handle a particular workflow or challenge.??
• This cycle continues until the sales rep can tie their responses to a feature, solution, or vision, and then they hop into a slide deck or demonstration. I am self-aware enough to know that I am frequently guilty of this, predominantly when my pipeline consists entirely of outbound leads.?

To make matters worse, leadership pressures reps to convert lackluster leads into Opportunities despite a lack of genuine pain or active initiative. For the ensuing weeks, the rep has to posture during forecast and deal review calls, stretching the deal's validity and twisting the prospect's reality into boxes that indicate product fit.?

This exhaustive process tends to provide prospects with a terrible buying experience, as their actual needs are unmet and their time is wasted. If a miracle occurs and the prospect buys, this is a nightmare for the Customer Success team that must combat churn on every call. Don’t fret; more than likely, this lead will go into the Closed Lost pile after 119 days, 4 “Check-Ins,” and 27 unread emails to relevant stakeholders.?

What’s to blame for this horrendous game of sales telephone??

Prospects don’t enjoy it, sales reps are depleted by it, and leadership is unimpressed by the results. It could be an issue of lack of product market fit, a rep in desperate need of enablement, or not speaking with someone within the intended customer profile (ICP). There are a ton of intangibles at play, and they are different for every business.?

From experience, these problems will not be solved by creating a new slide deck, adding a new stage in Salesforce, or bringing a founder to a call. You can rework these processes until you’re blue in the face, but I can almost guarantee it won’t impact your bottom line until you start genuinely listening to your prospects. I’m not talking about product suggestions or G2 ratings. I’m talking about actively listening to your prospects. They’re usually pretty honest, and sometimes the truth is not what a hungry Account Executive wants to hear.???

So, what is active listening?

Active listening occurs when the auditor actively seeks to understand what the speaker is saying and their intent. This communication skill can be acquired through practice, which is excellent news for blabbermouths like myself!?

When salespeople actively listen to their prospects, they add a human element to procuring SaaS, as both parties feel heard and understood. Examples of active listening are:

Attentiveness: Have you ever been on a call where someone is disengaged? Maybe furiously typing on their keyboard or browsing the internet? It’s rude, can spark insecurity, and distracting. Allow yourself to be immersed in the conversation, giving your full attention to the speaker. Better yet, have a genuine curiosity about what they’re saying.?

I like to put down my pen and let Gong record the call for future note-taking, which allows me to engage in conversation properly.

Non-Verbal Cues: Unless you’re speaking with a professional poker player, it can be pretty obvious to see how someone’s feeling based on non-verbal cues. When speaking or presenting, take occasional moments of silence to check the temperature of the conversation. Are they excited, bored, or confused? These cues will help determine where to take the discussion next.??

Eye Contact: This should go without saying, but you should keep eye contact in person or meeting virtually. I mean, don’t be weird about it, but try your best to remain engaged with who’s speaking rather than allowing your eyes to wander.?

Patience: Okay, this one is hard, but have some patience. Allow the speaker to finish what they’re saying before immediately jumping in with a response or another question. Allowing for silence encourages the prospect to continue opening up and leading the conversation to where they have genuine pain.?

Summarize: Once the conversation is wrapping up, the ability to summarize what was said verbally and/or in a follow-up email shows that you can truly listen. When a prospect feels heard, they’re more likely to continue the conversation or, at the very least, give you the courtesy to know there’s no opportunity.?

–

As we enter the year's final quarter, budgets are smaller, time is limited, and patience is waning. Do yourself a favor and actively listen to your prospects; with patience, some nuggets of gold may be waiting for you. At the very least, you’ll disqualify your deals much faster by accepting the cold, hard truth!