Act of Volition: Trial of Sacrifice

Change is inevitable. Often we put it off but for numerous reasons, but eventually, it'll come in a form that will change more than what you wanted to prevent. One of the best ways to navigate it is through knowing what choose and give up. What is sacrifice? Often people will say they've made them in a debate, argument, or comparison conversation as an beacon to bring them and their stance home. Listen more carefully, you'll hear it as often as you hear everyday things like the transit stop you depart on to get to work or home on your commute or the sound of people ordering their caffeinated concoctions to their liking without any hesitation or break in their syllables as if it were one straight cohesive sentence. In its definition, it is the act of giving up something of value for something else of equal or more value for the betterment of oneself or a situation.  

To become a better versions of ourselves grasping sacrifice along with discipline and being present is needed Although we make hundreds and thousands of sacrifices each day, I admit it was a word I threw around carelessly as I rarely experienced it on the higher end of the spectrum. Trading materials, vacations, and ideas were the bulk of my sacrifices. It wasn't until a recent set of events that until I truly understood what it felt to give up something for something else, especially when they were not tangible. Throughout the course of a fortnight (not the game), I would learn what it truly felt to sacrifice as it has not been nor will soon be forgotten. I would also learn that any successful one requires a tremendous act of volition that possibly be above your capabilities.  

After a successful summer came and went in my professional career, gearing up for autumn and the holidays felt like icing on the cake. Unbeknownst to me, I'd lose my entire apartment and materials to water and other damage, have my roommate move out, see my rent double, and sleep on a dining room chair for two weeks. It was in that fortnight I learned what I was made of in the trade-off of things I never given up in excessive amounts before - sleep, comfort, time. The situation became more troublesome when not one, but two of my goals became in danger. I was in the capstone of my master's degree program, and I was training for an ultra-marathon, which was 37.2 miles to be exact.  

Other than working full 40 hour work weeks my spare time was dedicated to salvaging what I could and apartment hunting while I planted the seeds for my thesis and portfolio. The chair lacked armrests, so I drifted in and out of sleep slipping off or nearly slipping off the chair. Some nights I didn't take slumber at all as I worked to revise coursework that had regressed a little with lack of sleep and time to focus on it. My training for my ultra-marathon was nonexistent with those close to me advising to drop out of the race and focus on college and finding a new place.  

Despite everything, I wanted it all. I wanted my degree with a perfect 4.0, and I wanted to complete my first ultra-marathon. With my apartment falling apart the chair remained the only option for me, which started to cause lower back pain. One night I sat and reflected on if any of things I aimed to do was feasible anymore given all of the circumstances. I decided there was no other option. That was it. The moment had arrived. Everything was very much plausible as long as I willing to do everything in power to achieve it.  

The journey had begun. My meals became more cereal and breakroom snacks as I saved up as much money as I could while juggling the bills. My diet was not the healthiest which was detrimental to my race preparation, but it was a sacrifice. I lost more sleep than I ever did in those two weeks than I had during any point in my near thirty years of life. Breaks at work were spent light sleeping and taking vitamins to help replenish some amount of energy even if it was minimal. The key was that it did not show when I worked as I believe you always leave everything at the door when you're coming to work. 

On the educational side, I was going back and forth with my professor on assignments and aspects of my thesis that required more time to tweak and adjust leading to spending my lunch breaks and commutes, if I did not fall asleep, working on them. Fearing sleep deprivation, I decided to take slumber as early as I could in the days leading up to the marathon cognizant that it would create more pressure to produce big time with my master's program. Lack of funds due to saving didn't provide me with a proper carb packing meal for fuel for the challenging journey ahead. On race day my cardio miraculously held up for the duration of the ultra-marathon which required for nine loops around New York City's Central Park on a cold frigid pre-thanksgiving weekend. The issue ended up being physical pain that stemmed from the dilemma.  

These were different instances in giving up something for the hope of improvement and achievement that we call great risks. Ultimately I would complete the 37.2 miles catching two muscle spasms as I approached the finish line wobbling across the platform. A week and a half later I became a Master’s graduate. The first thing I did on both accomplishments easel out a huge sigh. The release of carbon dioxide and intake of oxygen in those moments manifested the confirmation that it was all not in vain. What I lost and traded I will not forget, especially moving on from my first apartment regardless of how my move occurred.

Everyone makes sacrifices in one way or another, but it is the will that transforms and alters them that impacts the end results. The will is akin to a muscle that needs to be exercised but cannot be overused to mitigate and avoid burnout. I wouldn’t trade all that I went through for anything and would do everything again in a heartbeat. We come out of these experiences more sound, creative, and resilient for more challenging ones down the line. Many things are possible if you sacrifice for them. Amazing things are certain when you are absolutely willing to see them through. The power of the mind and will are incredible. We are capable of much more than we think we are.