Act III: Mr. Morale

I know I've shared something similar prior. But I thought I'd share a little more with anyone who dares to click & scroll. And trust me, I never thought I'd blend Kendrick Lamar into my professional story. Yet, here we are. And as the hero image caption says, I choose me.

Now, please bear with me. This may sound like a selfish statement. But in all actuality, its not.

"I choose me." -- This is the opening line from the 18th track ("Mirror") from Kendrick Lamar's transformative album, Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers. It was released in May of 2022, after fans, critics, and the music industry waited over 5 years for Kdot to come out with something new.

So what did the Pulitzer prize-winning artist do?

Well, not exactly what the music industry and fans were expecting -- an introspective classic, based on his therapy sessions with a German spiritual teacher & author, Eckhart Tolle. I won't go into who he is or even dive too much deeper into Kendrick's themes. I mean, he's lived through much more than I have. But I can say that everything he's endured, and then shared on this album, has resonated louder with me than any 808 kick.

From the opening statement -- I've been goin through somethin'. One thousand, eight hundred and fifty-five days. I've been going through somethin'. -- to the final track (Mirror), his words, his experience, his journey through this album went deeper into my soul than any other I've experienced.

I know. I know. There are albums from our teens, 20s, 30s, and so on, that all hit us in a way that defines that period in our life. But as a 50+ year-old dude, from the outskirts of Atlanta, how in the world does a Kendrick Lamar album change you? I mean, what do I know about fame and the pressures of pleasing a fanbase like his?

It's simple. I don't know. I can't even begin to imagine, which is why it hits on a totally meta level. I don't understand it... yet, I totally understand it, because I feel it.

Mirror

I choose me.

The pressures taking over me, its beginning to loom.

Better if I spare your feelings and tell you the truth.

Lately, I redirected my point of view.

You won't grow waitin' on me.

I can't live in the matrix, huh.

Rather fall short of your graces, huh.

This time I won't trade places, huh

Not about who's right, who's wrong, huh

Evolve, the only thing known, huh

Ask me when I'm coming home, huh

Blink twice again, I'm gone. I choose me, I'm sorry.... (5x more)

This sounds selfish. It does, doesn't it? But its not.

What we've done for generations, especially for men, is to hunt & gather. We've been programmed to provide, even if it means hustling with little-to-no regard for anyone around us, our planet, and mostly our own self worth.

This incessant desire to have it all and be everything to everyone leaves us as a shell of a human. (And quite possibly in debt.)

What we could use more of are statements like the one Kendrick is making -- to put yourself first. Because if you don't, then you won't be able to help anyone else around you.

Does that sound familiar? No?

Well, I wrote about this very subject earlier and referenced another cultural story, Stutz -- the Netflix documentary with Jonah Hill and his therapist, Phil Stutz. Go check out my musings here about your Life Force.

So what does this have to do with LinkedIn?

To start, LinkedIn is my social channel of choice.

I abandoned the Book of Faces about six years ago. I left Twitter two years ago. Snapchat never stuck with me. And TikTok... I don't need that one on my phone since everyone shares those via URL links or reposting as a Reel on Instagram. And IG, thats my private place for sharing things I love -- my family, food, friends, and nature. So yeah... it has everything to do with LinkedIn... for me.

And what Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers did for me was prompt me to go back and reflect what has led me to my own transformation in a sort of Three Act Story Structure. (And I'm not talking about Digital Transformation... finally! ????)

ACT I: Hustle

Believe it or not, I grew up shy. I also grew up with a stepfather from the south side of Chicago – a real hard ass who taught me how to work hard & hustle. This led me to getting a dishwashing job by age 15, after spending several months bagging groceries and cooking pizzas.

By age 21, not only was I getting to my corporate catering & lunch line cook job by 7:30a, I was also going to Kennesaw State at night. To top it off, I also delivered pizzas on my off days AND worked in the kitchen at The Comic Cafe, where I would cook for folks like David Spade, Carrot Top, and Adam Sandler.

It was also the time in my life when I thought I was going to be a Chef. (As some of you know, the kitchen is my haven. And making people feel something through food has always been a passion of mine.)

But it was a time when “trying to please people” through food was not the norm in the pre-Top Chef days. Plus, I worked my ass off to get my Comms/Marketing degree, so I decided to leave the kitchen behind at age 26 and start my marketing career.

ACT II: Be Everything to Everyone

I jumped into my Marketing career with the same passion and sense of activation I was taught in the kitchen – “You got time to lean, you got time to clean.” This led me to get onto my first film set in 1997, a commercial shoot for a national lawn care service. Needless to say, I was immediately hooked.

That “hustle” attitude I had in Act 1 was a power. I mean, I’m not sure my earliest leaders thought it was, as I’d literally ask to be a part of everything. But, this gave me a well-rounded view of planning, budgets, media, creative, heuristics, strategy, and so much more, which led me to a budding career in account management & client service.

But it was also a curse. I became a dreaded Generalist.

Whats more? The marketing world moved way slower than the restaurant biz (for good reasons). That is until the world of digital arrived with its promise of quick content & instant results. “Now this is exciting!”, I thought.

I mean, we can hustle our way through life and be connected to everything? And we can measure it all? Sure can! (How's that Attribution thing working out for you? Maddening, isn't it? Especially when everyone questioning you knows nothing about marketing. But well save that for another rainy day.)

Here's the thing about being a Generalist and also creative -- being “everything” to everyone leaves you little for yourself. Whats worse? Trying to be “everywhere”, another promise of digital, leaves you little time to be present and intentional with your family.

And as a working dad who was the shuttle to daycare, then a full day at work, then the shuttle back home, dinner-maker, bath-giver, booker-reader, and fall asleep in the rocker, I had no time to myself.

Not only did this have an impact on me, it had an impact on my marriage and the early relationship with my oldest son. So by the mid-2010s, it was time to find “me” again.

Fast-forward to the four years before the pandemic, when I focused more on the creative production space (and a vibrant ATL marketing & advertising community), I returned to some familiarity I found with Act 1. From capturing the ATLiens, to being an ATLien. Being a part of creative storytelling & video production reminded me of the restaurant business.

I felt like I had a purpose, a voice, and the passion to help represent the video creator space here in Atlanta.

How does being in the video space and being in the kitchen relate?

Well...

Both have “Chefs”.

Both have “Sous”.

Both have “Dishwashers”.

Both have “Front-of-House”.

Both take a ‘village’ to pull it all together.

Both are creative.

Both serve up something to consume.

Both are grueling (and totally worth it).

And both leave the creator hoping their expression & craft gave their audience something they could FEEL… and dare I say, both have soul.

All the parallels were there for me… until they weren’t because of a global pandemic.

ACT III: The Obstacle is the Way

I don’t need to remind anyone of “the obstacle”. It hit everyone hard, including the production biz. But, thanks to the generosity of another great leader in the ATL community (I'm looking at you, Jav), I found myself in a great position, with a great team, great clients, and a livestream web show that was gaining momentum.

But there was something missing – me.

I had spent the past 26 years (exactly half of my life) doing something that pleased others (while making everyone else more money).

Meanwhile, during the pandemic, the feelings from my “first two acts” changed. A near-death experience with a family member, two teens having suicidal thoughts, and the passing of close friends made me re-evaluate everything… including myself and my contribution to the world.

So after months of reflection, hikes, reading, writing, laughing, crying, and having heartfelt conversations with many of you, it hit me.

I am at my best when I am creating something that others can FEEL. (And not simply “selling” it, but being a part of creating it.)

The Resolution

As with any good story, Act III is all about resolution and its climax -- the part of the story where the main character needs to overcome their greatest obstacle yet, using all they have learned.

They gather their strength and, against all odds, they defeat the antagonist in a surprising yet seemingly inevitable show of strength, resilience, and determination.

So here I am. Battered, bruised, and plenty of scars to show for it.

But here I am... today, using everything I've learned, all the encouragement from my wife & kids, and all the strength from this amazing network of friends & colleagues.

I hope you enjoy AND are a part of the show! ?? ?? ??Who wants to open (or kick down) some doors and create stories told with soul?

BONUS: Stick around for the credits and outtakes. (Because I have a LOT of credit to give out… and I’m sure to have a few outtakes, too.)