Across The Great Divide: Dispatches from A Clinician in A Post Election Reality
For those reading this, I must make something clear: this is not a political diatribe, but a reflection and a compassionate invitation to find a path toward healing. The recent election has brought to light deep fractures between family members, friends, colleagues, amplifying the divisions in our values and ideologies. Regardless of one’s stance on the political spectrum, the emotional toll is undeniable. It has left people across communities grappling with fear, mistrust, and anxiety, creating psychological wounds that risk deepening if left unattended.
?As a clinician, I am reminded of a fundamental principle in family therapy, the ability to disagree while still recognizing the bonds that connect us. Often, conflict overshadows this connection, and we start to see others only through the lens of their views, overlooking the shared experiences and qualities that initially drew us together. This kind of disconnection can be particularly painful within families and among close friends, where, ideally, we feel the strongest sense of belonging and acceptance.
?In family systems, one essential concept is self-regulation, a stabilizing process in which individuals and groups find ways to adapt to emotional upheaval. For example, families may encounter intense conflict over political differences but eventually return to a baseline of low conflict through mutual efforts to reconnect. Self-regulation is a skill that helps us maintain connection by balancing personal values with the needs of our relationships. By focusing on stabilizing interaction patterns, families and friends can create temporary "safe zones" where politics is set aside. This can allow relationships to heal and flourish, reminding us that what often binds us is love, respect, and shared experiences—not the transient and polarizing nature of political tides.
?An essential step toward healing this divide is re-grounding ourselves in what defines our relationships beyond politics. This means choosing to view each other in the fullness of our humanity, rather than reducing one another to our stances or labels. Doing so may require adopting new "rules" within our circles such as pausing conversations on divisive issues when tensions are high or agreeing to keep certain discussions out of family gatherings altogether. These intentional boundaries can help preserve the sanctity of relationships by allowing for both mutual respect and individuality.
?As a psychotherapist and executive coach, I have observed that creating new "rules" or guidelines for interaction is not avoidance but a conscious form of adaptation. When we agree to set aside contentious topics, we honor the value of the person beyond the opinion. Over time, this type of self-regulation can facilitate the growth of new, healthier dynamics that acknowledge differences without letting them dominate or damage the relationship.
?Healing will take time. It requires patience and a willingness to invest in repairing trust. For many, feeling safe and rebuilding trust will be a gradual process, shaped by small moments of understanding, active listening, and empathy. For instance, rather than reacting defensively in the face of differing views, we might aim to listen to the underlying fears or hopes driving those beliefs. This level of empathy difficult though it may be can reveal shared concerns or values that resonate beyond the political realm.
To bridge this great divide, we might look to practices that promote unity and understanding. Activities that reconnect us with the people we care about sharing a meal, engaging in non-political conversations, or simply spending time together can serve as gentle reminders of what truly matters. Relationships thrive not because of shared beliefs but because of shared bonds. When we focus on our common ground, even in disagreement, we honor the dignity of those we love.
?Ultimately, the path to mending these schisms is through empathy, restraint, and a commitment to holding space for one another’s humanity. This is not about persuading others or compromising values; it’s about cultivating the resilience needed to honor our connections despite our differences. By investing in these small, intentional acts, we may find a way to not only heal but strengthen our relationships and communities bringing us closer to a society that values both unity and individuality.
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