The Acorn

This past year has been a tough one. Last winter, I hit a wall and for mental health reasons, I had to take a step back from social media and being on the front lines of the company. It's the same wall so many hit when they work in trauma spaces and working in a startup.

VictimsVoice turned 4-years old over the summer. Our company turned five. In the last five years, I have received flack about charging an annual fee for VictimsVoice , despite working with Partner Members across the US to offer it for free and make sure we would never turn anyone away that needed a subscription.

The reality is that the level of security, privacy, and legal compliance needed to start and run a company of this magnitude is enormous. We did it with no outside investment to ensure there were no pressures to sway from our mission and the commitment we hold to our users. But that level of commitment comes at a price. My co-founder and I have not received a paycheck in five years. That's five years of no social security contributions. Five years of working our bodies and souls to the edge. Five years of leaning on our "significant others" to pick up the slack for a cause larger than ourselves.

There have been times when I felt like quitting. I remember sitting in my mentor's dining room, crying because I was so exhausted and not sure I had it in me to keep going. But then you receive an email or a message from one of the users telling you how much it changed their life and you wipe away the tears, dust yourself off, and keep going.

I called this post "The Acorn" because five years ago this past spring, while starting the company, I lost my step-father and moved my disabled mother in with my family. She lived in Virginia where I grew up. Her backyard was filled with huge old white oak trees and near the driveway was a tiny white oak tree seedling, the acorn still attached to the roots. I carefully dug it up, wrapped it in a wet paper towel, put it in a plastic baggie, and drove it seven hours to New Jersey to be planted in my backyard.

Oak trees are mighty and can grow to over 80-years old. Traditionally, hybrid white oaks can start acorn production as soon as 5 years, but under normal conditions, 20 years is the general rule. The photo you see in this post is from that tree we brough up from Virginia. It holds special significance because this year, our company is finally in the black. My co-founder and I are finally able to take a (very small) paycheck.

I'm sharing this with you because too many media outlets and social media posts talk about fantasy-type stories of companies growing leaps and bounds right out of the gate. Most of those are flash pan success that die as fast as they grew.

I'm telling you this because you don't have to be a (fill in the publication)'s Top 20 under 20 or even 30 under 30. I'm in my late 50's and all that experience is paying off (I earned every gray hair and am proud of them all).

I'm opening up about my experiences because the reality of life is messy, complicated, painful, and sometimes gross, but you find your piles of glitter and throw them up in the air so others can celebrate with you.

If you are worried if you can "do it," what ever "it" is, here's some advice:

• - Make sure your oak tree (idea) has solid roots and an acorn attached to get you through your first year.
• - Surround yourself with people W-A-Y smarter than yourself.
• - Lose the ego. It is too bulky and will slow you down.
• - Hear the feedback. Don't just listen, but really hear it. You won't like most of it (if you do, it's not feedback, it's flattery).
• - Take what you need from the feedback. Not everyone is right, but you'll want to dig deep and see what is valuable and what is not.
• - ALWAYS offer to support others first. Someone once told me that if you ask for money, you'll get advice. If you ask for advice, you might get money. Even if you are not looking for funding, this is still sound advice.
• - Share your networks. Being a founder is lonely, so being able to share your network will only expand your own.
• - Find a hobby. For your own mental health, you'll need one.
• - Keep your day job for as long as you can or you have enough runway that you can afford to leave. But beware - you know those nightmares where you're running down the hall and it keeps getting longer? That's your startup runway (no lie!).
• - Look for acorns. When your "tree" starts to grow, don't be so busy admiring how tall it's getting that you miss the acorns it drops for you.

With?gratitude &?glitter,

Sheri