The Achievement Trap: Finding Your True North After Years of Checking Boxes
Andy Molinsky
Organizational & Cross-Cultural Psychologist at Brandeis; 3x Book Author: Global Dexterity, Reach, Forging Bonds in a Global Workforce
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We've all met them – the "perfect" achievers. Stellar grades in school, prestigious university degrees, impressive career trajectories. Yet beneath that polished exterior, many harbor a secret: they've spent so long pursuing society's definition of success that they've never discovered what truly lights them up inside.
This phenomenon, which I call the "Achievement Trap," affects more people than you might think. After years of checking society's boxes – the right schools, the right jobs, the right neighborhoods – many find themselves in their 30s, 40s, or even 50s wondering: "What do I actually enjoy doing?"
The good news? It's never too late to course-correct. Here are three strategies I've seen work for my clients and students:
1. Conduct a "Joy Audit"
Take two weeks to notice when you feel most energized and engaged. Don't overthink it – simply jot down moments when you lose track of time or feel particularly fulfilled. Maybe it's while mentoring junior colleagues, solving complex problems, or organizing events. These moments are breadcrumbs leading to your authentic interests.
2. Create a "Permission Portfolio"
Identify five people who've successfully pivoted their careers or pursued unconventional paths. Study their stories, connect with them if possible, and use their experiences as permission slips for your own exploration. Remember: if they could do it, so can you.
3. Start Small, Start Now
Don't wait for a grand epiphany. Begin with "micro-experiments" – small, low-risk ways to explore potential interests. Sign up for a weekend workshop, volunteer in a new field, or take on a side project. These small steps can yield powerful insights without requiring a complete life overhaul.
The path to discovering your passions may feel daunting, especially after years of following a prescribed route. But remember: your previous achievements haven't been wasted – they've given you valuable skills and resources for this next chapter. The question isn't whether you can change course, but whether you're willing to try.
What lights you up inside? It's time to find out.
Higher Education Professional | Change Agent | Collaborator
7 小时前Working in higher education can be incredibly fulfilling, yet it's important to recognize that my career and what makes me happy is not always the same. As administrators, we pour our hearts into serving students and enhancing their educational experiences. However, it's crucial to find our own happy place outside of the 9-5 routine. Having a personal sanctuary—a hobby, a passion, or simply time for self-care—doesn't diminish our commitment to our roles. In fact, it enhances our ability to serve. By nurturing our well-being, we become more resilient, creative, and effective in our work.