The achieved outcome VS The desired outcome in communication.

So you're home with some friends and one of them without any intention of offending you or provoking you, put his feet on your couch to get more comfortable.

It's clearly not OK with you. How would you express it ?

Observation of such cases have shown that your words will depend on the receiver. Basically triggered by emotions you are likely to reply :

"Get your feet off of my couch please"

Or

"If you want to put your feet on the couch, do it at your own place."

 But what is it that you are trying to say ? Do you want the person to simply remove their feet off the couch ? Or are do you want them to feel un-welcomed and patronize them on their behavior?

Form your message with a focus on the outcome

When focusing on the outcome, you remove "hidden knives" in conversations. You achieve sending a straight-forward message that is successful in its purpose. The communication stayed objective and the “receiver” understands the purpose rather than being caught up on deciphering personal messages.

Words are very powerful. Careful how you use them ...

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