Ace the Meeting: The Ask For Advice Approach

We are all in sales. I've been in professional sales for over 30 years and attended thousands of "first meeting" discussions. Many if not all are critical to kicking off (or not) a strong and winning relationship.

However, you don't have to be a "sales guy" to need the skill to start a strong relationship. Whether you are meeting your new boss for the first time, interviewing for a job, or trying to get selected for a board seat at a company, here's my friendly advice about how to make the first meeting a smashing success.

The day has arrived and you are ready for your meeting! Let’s start with some housekeeping issues that will help de-stress you and build your confidence:

Call the receptionist or an assistant a few days in advance and tell them you have an meeting. Ask them how your interviewer will dress that day and mirror as closely as possible.

Make sure your grooming and clothes are top notch.

Confirm the meeting by email the evening before.

Confirm you know the directions and where to park.

Take your ID with you in case you need to clear security.

Arrive 30 minutes early. You can sit in your car and review your notes, then walk in at least 15 minutes early.

This is helpful because you are there and can relax about the commute to the interview.

Be nice to the receptionist. Focus on him or her and ask them about their day. Small talk helps with a good impression and I’ve been to pitches before where the CEO asks the receptionist what she thought about the brokers. You never know.

While waiting, look at your notes, not your phone. There are too many negative impressions that can occur if you are staring at your phone, scrolling. Plus, it’s distracting.

We need to talk specifically about phones. You can take them to the meeting, but put them in airplane or silence mode. Do not put them on the table. Keep them in an attache case, purse or some other bag.

Of course, do not look at them during the meeting unless you are looking for data relevant to the discussion.

When the executive walks out to meet you, stand confidently and smile. Look him or her directly in the eyes and deliver a firm handshake.

Deliver a socially acceptable greeting like, “It’s such a pleasure to meet you…I’ve been really looking forward to this meeting.”

The first 90 seconds are the most important in your meeting. Executives “thin slice” as do all humans and they are making an initial “like or not” decision quickly.

In a first meeting, I usually decline the offer of a beverage unless they are right in front of us.

Let them welcome you in. Then you have a few options as to what to do next. If they control the meeting, then I will let them talk. I pull out my paper pad and take notes.

When you start talking, you could begin by saying “I looked at your LinkedIn profile and see we know such and such in common,” or “we both went to the same school, or “grew up in the same area.”

You are trying to find a common bond.

If you cannot find this commonality in advance, then simply ask them about the office you are in and how long they’ve been located there. Or ask them about an interesting piece of furniture or an award.

Once the meeting gets going, and they start asking you questions, I suggest you repeat the question back to give you time to think. You can pause for a moment before answering then do your best to respond. Importantly, keep the answer short and to the point.

As the two of you get into the central part of the meeting keep in mind a few principles:

Practice the 70/30 principle. 70% of the talking is done by the other person. When they are talking, you are winning.

Ask. For. Advice. Executives in their 40’s/50’s and 60’s have lots of hard luck stories. Work on the questions, but also be ready to ask real time questions based on what they say…and even a follow up.

Here’s an example: Mr: Big - “We have 70 salespeople in this office and this is the best office in the company.” You: “It’s very impressive what you’ve built here. How did you do it? How do you recruit the best people?”

When you ask leadership focused questions, you are placating their ego, but also moving yourself up several levels. You are focused on them, their success and how they will grow their business.

The focus on you can come later.

Good luck! You are in it to win it!