Accountability and Persistence

Our South Pasadena Senior Center had a Thanksgiving lunch festival on November 20. The event was shortly after the results of our General Election. Tensions about the future were high; chatter at every turn was focused on what to expect.

The War Memorial is the usual location to accommodate luncheons of this size. Unfortunately, the preparations for it were lacking in many ways. One was the fact that those doing the serving were panicked. Another evidence of poor preparation was availability of cold water and plastic cups for one style of beverage, while the two coffee urns sat with no mugs available to hold the hot beverage. Two flavors of creamer were at the beverage station.

Lacking a proper vessel for coffee, I went to the serving area to request one but was physically shuffled out of the food preparation area on the premise that they didn't want me to be injured as they moved the serving carts.

Every time I would attempt to say something to any of the staff, as well as when I attempted to ask for a coffee holder, my words would be cut off before I finished my statement.

There was no acknowledgement of the meaning of Thanksgiving. A former Mayor was present and insisted on delivering a spiel of groan-worthy jokes about stuffing. In the past, I've pressed him to say something in consonance with the holiday being celebrated. He always resists until he realizes my request is sincere. He relents, then replies with comments that are quite meaningful and poignant. But at the Thanksgiving lunch he could not share any insights into the meaning of Thanksgiving nor name Rockwell's Four Freedoms.

After the Thanksgiving event, I asked to be removed from the December 17 Christmas lunch wait list. But the day to confirm attendance arrived and I reluctantly consented. My stomach felt as though it was filled with worms the entire day because of the anticipated treatment that would be repeated. I mentioned my discomfort and why to one of the detectives who was present. He assured me they would make certain my discomfort would be allayed.

As I sat in my seat, my mood grew darker. My table mate who greeted me with a bright, cheery smile made an attempt to be joyfully communicative. But her face showed that my mood was draining any form of cheer from her. The thought that raced through my mind and buried itself was, "I'm bringing this poor woman down and she doesn't deserve this. I shouldn't be here. I need to go home."

With that resolution reached, I waited for the dignitaries of the day to complete their welcoming remarks. Then I quietly made my way to the Deputy Chief of Police. On greeting me, he asked how I was. "Physically, I'm fine," I told him, "but emotionally, I'm not. Can I be taken home?"

"Flight Attendant Kicks Black Girl Off Plane" (a 1:08:55 hr. YouTube video) seems to point to my two holiday lunch experiences and validate my Title VII advocacy and the changes I've started here in South Pasadena.

The telling and guiding message in the video is what we all need to keep in mind as we handle our daily interactions with others and as we enter 2025. Two profound closing statements are made in the video:

"Small gestures multiplied over time could transform an entire culture."

and

"Change begins with accountability, but it thrives with persistence."

No one should be required to be quietly appreciative of abuse or unacceptable conditions. To destroy the creations and possessions of another merely because of who or what they appear to be is to destroy not only the person but also the benefits that could have been obtained from having them as an ally.

Mutual respect is part of an actual healthy community. Respect others for the value they contribute to our existence.

Be accountable. Be persistent about being accountable.