Accountability is Caring

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A thirteen-year-old me had mommy issues.? I could have sworn that I had the meanest mother on the planet earth.? I mean, she was downright cruel.?She made me do things like make my bed, clean my room, do homework, get good grades, take baths, be nice to my little sister, say sir and ma’am, and worst of all, wash dishes!? I would have volunteered to eat with my hands for the rest of my life if I never had to wash another dish.? I would have pulled a Chris Rock in the movie, “I’m Gonna Git You Sucka,” and said, “F-it!?Just poor the damn drink in my hand!” ?I even had to answer the house phone (back when those existed) with the phrase, “Thank you for calling the McNeil residence.? This is Simon speaking, how may I help you?” ?I’m not joking.? I had to say it just like that.

My friends would come over to my house and say, “Bro, your mom is mean.”? I would politely state, “Yep.”? If I wanted to go to the movies, she would inspect my room first, and then the den (which was one of my chores), and then answer with, “Ok, wash the dishes and you can go.” ?George Lucas and Steven Spielberg both contributed to the cleanliness of my house. ?My best friend Dexter Johnson attributed the cleanliness of his apartment as an adult to my mother because he would help me wash the dishes on multiple occasions as a teenager so that we would not be late to the movies, true story.

All of this is to say that my mother was by no definition of the word, mean.? She was teaching me about Accountability, which she learned from her mother, my great aunt Edna’s twin. ?She was teaching me that once you are given responsibility, you are expected to accomplish the tasks assigned with that role with no exceptions; and she offered, no exceptions. ?Had my mother allowed exceptions in her expectations of me, she would have in essence been teaching me that she really did not care for me as a son or a person.

A great leader that I personally respect recently spoke to me about this very concept in how he leads his teams.? Ed Brinson is a General Manager of American Airlines, running their operations in Ft. Walton Beach-Destin, FL.? This destination is one of the most sought-after vacation destinations in the country, so you can imagine how busy he and his teams are year-round. Ed has been in leadership for over twenty years, and he has extensive experience in leading people. ?He describes his business as “the people business,” even though he is responsible for getting very large and complex engineered systems into the stratosphere to arrive safely at predestined locations.???

During a recent interview that Ed participated in for the forthcoming My Great Aunt EDNA YouTube show, he stated that “As a leader, if you are not holding your people accountable, you are part of the problem.”? This statement resounded in me, and I immediately began to ponder the ebb and flows of my own leadership career.? To be completely honest and transparent, I have been part of the problem a few times as a leader by not fully holding my teams accountable. ?My Great Aunt EDNA is a firm believer in Accountability, and I do my best to adhere to her leadership philosophy. ?But I have had moments in leadership where Accountability has taken a back seat to other matters.?

Ed Brinson also expressed that Accountability is caring, which reminded me of my mother.? He believes that if a leader does not truly care for their team, they will simply let them fail and replace them with another team member.? The lack of Accountability is the expression of a non-caring leader.? Accountability, when partnered with coaching, can be the determining factor in a team member growing and reaching their full potential in their own career.? When a team member is held accountable with consistency, what naturally begins to happen is the subconscious adaptation of self-accountability.? The team member will eventually feel uncomfortable with foregoing expected tasks, and the unsettling in their spirit will force them to readjust their behavior to the level of Excellence that they have grown accustomed to.? A personal example of this is the difference between how I approached homework as a teenager, versus how I approached homework as a working adult completing college courses in the evening. ?I no longer needed my mother to hold me accountable.? Her previous consistency had created an expectation within me that forced me to complete the work and find fulfillment in doing so.? That is demonstrated care in actuality.

I recently had a brief conversation with the leaders that report to me about the difference between the relationship of being a friend with your direct reports and being friendly with them.? A few of them took exception to my point that I was not their friend, but that I am very friendly with all of them. ?I can understand why they would feel that way, as we have a lot of fun together, and I genuinely like each and every one of them. ?However, I care for them more than I desire to be their friend.? Why? ?Because I need to hold them accountable to Excellence in order for them to be their best. ?I pray for them daily to succeed and grow beyond their roles on my team.? That is the ultimate goal in me leading others, and My Great Aunt EDNA, Ed Brinson, and my mother would be disappointed in me if I showed a lack of care by not holding them accountable.

Now, go make your bed and wash the dishes!

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