Accidental Infidelity

All affairs are not alike. The thousands of affairs fall into broad categories. Most first affairs are cases of accidental infidelity, unintended and uncharacteristic acts of carelessness that really did "just happen."

It takes two people to create a successful relationship. It only takes one person to make it fail.

Someone will get drunk, will get caught up in the moment—will just be having a bad day. It can happen to anyone, though some people are more accident prone than others, and some situations are accident zones.

Many times a young man has started his career as a philanderer quite accidentally when he is traveling out of town on a new job with a philandering boss who chooses one of a pair of women and expects the young fellow to entertain the other.

The most startling dynamic behind accidental infidelity is misplaced politeness, the feeling that it would be rude to turn down a needy friend's sexual advances. In the debonair gallantry of the moment, the brazen discourtesy to the marriage partner is overlooked altogether.

Human perception is biased. Any behavior, or change in behavior, can be interpreted in different ways. If you trust your spouse, you’re likely to overlook obvious signs of infidelity. But, if you’re suspicious, you are more likely to notice signs of cheating everywhere you look (even if they are not there). These lists can become like a Rorschach Test, in which people see what they want to see. With this in mind, it may be wise to approach these lists with some degree of caution.

It’s not pleasant to think about being betrayed by someone you love. No one likes to think that a husband or wife may be lying, especially not in their own relationship.

And it’s probably safe to assume that everyone wants a close, romantic relationship that is built on openness, intimacy and trust.

But despite our best intentions, our close relationships do not always work that way. Often, our romantic relationships involve some secrecy and deception.

So, why do people lie to those they love?

Both men and women can slip up and have accidental affairs, though the most accident-prone are those who drink, those who travel, those who don't get asked much, those who don't feel very tightly married, those whose running buddies screw around, and those who are afraid to run from a challenge. Most are men.

After an accidental infidelity, there is clearly the sense that one's life and marriage have changed. The choices are:

To decide that infidelity was a stupid thing to do, to confess it or not to do so, but to resolve to take better precautions in the future;

To decide you wouldn't have done such a thing unless your husband or wife had let you down, put the blame on your mate, and go home and pick your marriage to death;

To notice that lightning did not strike you dead, decide this would be a safe and inexpensive hobby to take up, and do it some more;

To decide that you would not have done such a thing if you were married to the right person, determine that this was meant to be, and declare yourself in love with the stranger in the bed.

Disclaimer : The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice .All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensue discussion or debate.

Thank you … From the outside looking in, it is insane. How could anyone risk everything in life on the turn of a screw? Infidelity was not something people do , so I always found it strange and noteworthy.

Even if the tragedy of AIDS and the humiliation of prominent politicians hadn't stopped it, surely people could not continue screwing around after reading about the absurd destructiveness of it. As you know, people have not stopped having affairs.

Your thoughts …..?

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Infidelity is a very messy hobby. It is not an effective way to find a new mate or a new life.

It is not a safe treatment for depression, boredom, imperfect marriage, or inadequate gender splendor. And it certainly does not impress the rest of us. It does not work for women any better than it does for men.

It does excite the senses and the imaginations of those who merely hear the tales of lives and deaths for love, who melt at the sound of liebestods or country songs of love gone wrong.

Infidelity is a spectator sport like shark feeding or bull fighting—that is, great for those innocent bystanders who are careful not to get their feet, or whatever, wet.

Only those who trust, can find love and happiness. And only those who love, can be betrayed.