Accepting the Wrong Job for the Wrong Reasons Will Only Lead to Unhappiness and Poor Performance

Is there any respectable job you might be offered at a very high sum of compensation that you might turn down?

A close friend of mine recently retired from a government prosecutorial role and was immediately offered a position by a group of people connected with some nefarious members of their "community," he often faced in court. Apparently, they wanted to buy into his knowledge, advice and - possibly - his connections. The intent to hire him and use his leverage his seemed to be legal. However, it is not difficult to imagine how close to the black/white line he would be working. The pay for the position was exceedingly handsome. Still, he turned the job down, because it didn't feel and "smell" right.

Not every job we may be offered and subsequently reject need be as suspicious in nature as the one my friend was offered. There are actually very many reasons people refuse job offers that have more to do with a lack of job and or career interest than anything else. Among other factors often leading to offer rejections include: unrealistic level of compensation; unreasonable length of commute; exorbitant amount of travel; unbearable stress levels; poor work and family balance; and even the negative reputation of the employer.

So, how does one decide if a job is right for them or not? The filtering advice is very simple: Be a good listener. Be a good researcher. Ask the right questions. And, hear what your "gut" has to say.

Your gut is your body's "organ" for decision-making. It is the place where all considerations go to be scored by developed knowledge and past life experience. The two criteria work hand-in-hand to form an effective sounding board for all decisions that confront us, daily. We all need to use our well-developed guts to our greatest personal advantages in helping us determine what "feels" right (for us)...and what may signal certain warning alarms inside us.

Our guts are usually correct in - at least - when urging us to think long and hard about what may be in front of us. We must factor in everything we know about whatever is involved in making the right decision for us. Make no mistake that validation of feelings are just as important as validation of facts for every one of us. A gut can sometimes be wrong (especially, when considering faulty or incomplete data), but a gut will rarely ever not tip you off about some possible concerns. Go for it. Slam the brakes. Or, re-group and reconsider. A well-developed gut will - at least - bring you to these judgements.

If a job or career is not right for you there should be no amount of money or higher level of prestige to make it acceptable to a self-critic. Life is far too short to live it as unhappy and unfulfilled. Consider that you receive your paycheck only one to four times per month, but you also spend more time at work than you spend at home, doing things you enjoy with your family. Regardless of what you are earning; a job you don't like gets old fairly quickly. And, has it not been said that we do best doing the things we love most. If you do not love your job, you probably aren't very good at it. And, you probably have low energy doing it.

I absolutely hate it when I pull into a gas station or walk in to a convenience store and my own high energy greeting is returned by a vacant stare and the obligatory pedestrian response. Is the person I am greeting at all interested and appreciative of my greeting and acknowledgement of them? Or, more likely, are they more interested in getting me out of their face, so they can resume day-dreaming, posting, tweeting, texting or whatever else they like to do, while counting down the remaining hours of their shift?

Taking a job you don't like also has some far-ranging consequences that extend beyond our own personal "front doors" People, who just go through the motions at work end up poisoning everyone around them and setting a bad example for others in failing to demonstrate what a highly passionate and motivated employee should look like.

Certainly, there are times in our lives when we are financially desperate and really need any sort of job, just to pay the bills. There are other times when we are easily wooed by an obscene amount of money and prestige to accept a job we might not otherwise be interested in. The job my legal friend was offered was enticing, but it was not what he wanted to do and it was not who he wanted to do it for. For him, it was not about allowing himself to be bought for the right price. It was much more about him not wanting to buy into that sale and whatever might have gone along with it. His gut advised him against saying, yes. He walked away.

My friend's story has a rather happy ending. A week after he turned down that job, he received a better offer. The position he accepted paid much less money and required a great deal of travel to and from his office. In his case, money and time of commute were not his top considerations (though they might be those of others). The job he agreed to accept was exactly what he wanted to do, in type of place he wanted to do it; and for the kind of people he had hoped to work.

My good friend held out and got a much better deal for himself by putting his personal satisfaction above all else. As a result, I am sure his employer and their customers will be very pleased to have him working on their behalf. He will be highly motivated, much engaged and at the top of his professional game. What more can be expected by all parties?