Accepting Less Than A+

My daughter Morgan wrote this three yrs. ago on the Odyssey on-line as a sophomore Engineering Major at Vanderbilt University. What was true for her in school back then is a microcosm of what is important for all of us in work and life.

She has graduated and is gainfully employed with a major consulting firm, so her hard work has payed off, however this message should resonate with everyone who reads this. Especially parents of high school and college students, who have young adults facing this exact challenge.

So without any further commentary here is an encore of one of the best blog posts I have ever read and shared:

My high school worked hard to drill into our heads how important it was to push ourselves academically, join multiple extra-curricular activities, do community service, and have summer jobs to get into the college of our dreams. We were a highly ranked school with the desire to propel as many students as possible to top 20 private universities. I took almost all honors and AP classes, played two seasons of after-school sports, was a student government officer, frequently volunteered for leadership positions and still maintained a semblance of a normal high school social life. My classes and overbooked schedule were supposed to prepare me for what was ahead. 

When I finally achieved my dream of getting into an extremely high ranked and respectable university, I quickly found out that there was something my high school didn’t prepare me for -- my A+ achieving, extra-curricular, butt-busting self could not continue at the pace I was going. I was top of the academic food chain, where I came from, now I worked my tail off and sometimes just couldn't get that A. 

My classes have me working harder than I ever have in my entire life, to understand the material and do well, and it sucks up a lot of time I could be putting into clubs or a job. I don’t think I cracked my AP calculus textbook all year, my senior year of high school. I wish anyone good luck trying to pass with those habits in college. 

Going from the top of your class, to average, is a tough adjustment that a lot of students have to make, and my advice is to not sweat it. It took me a lot of tears and harsh grades to finally realize that you can’t be perfect all the time. When you go to a school where everyone graduated very near or at the top of their class, everyone can’t continue to be the best. There has to be some sort of distribution of intelligence. 

My dad gave me a great piece of advice. He said, "Someone had to graduate last from Harvard Med School." It didn’t mean they didn’t deserve to be there, or aren’t good enough to be a doctor; it just means that, logically, someone has to be the worst of the best. It doesn’t discount that they are still pretty good. 

So, the next time you see a nice glaring C+ on the top of a paper, don’t freak. There are plenty more tests and assignments, plenty more classes to take and A+s to be had. They just can’t all be A+s for most students; not anymore. 

So, take in the wise words of my roommate: “Honestly, if I got a B, it would make me throw-up with happiness.” If you worked hard and know you did your best, accept your grade with grace and move on. In the grand scheme of things, it is not worth stressing over.