Accepting Diversity in Personality

No doubt organizations are embracing diversity and rolling out programs, targets, and marketing campaigns, all with good intentions.

But how does one measure the impact?

Most organizations report this as hiring numbers or targeted campaigns to fill open positions with people constituting the diversity.

15 years in this IT/ consulting industry and I have had my share of experiences, some sweet some sour. So, it feels great that finally the length and breadth of diversity is being continually expanded by the organizations.

I had an epiphany recently, which makes me pose this question to myself and to any leader in any organization –

What does diversity mean to you?

Diversity means equal opportunity and dignity irrespective of gender, sexual orientation, disability, ethnicity, age and lifestyle.

This does sound like a 10/10 answer.

There is however a lesser-known aspect that few have started acknowledging – diversity in personality, choice, and approach.

While I have been fortunate enough to meet some leaders, who have embraced & supported this aspect of mine wholeheartedly. I still feel there is room for more in this space. It is safe to say in each of the organizations that I have worked with, there was at least 1 person who understood my personality and my style. Did it bode well for me every time? Not always.

But as they say if you can’t change people around you, change your situation. Because that is what is in one’s control. Hence, sometimes I stayed and worked with the acceptance, other times I moved out and on. For better opportunities (:P what we all tend to say in job interviews when asked about the shift).

But coming back to the aspect of diversity in personality, choice, and approach, let me start by quoting (my version of) one of my favorite quotes (I have taken some liberty and molded it a bit).

Leadership consists not in degrees of techniques or depth of expertise or breadth of skills but in traits of character

I will try to explain with a simile.

Imagine you are looking for a cohabiter. And you are an excellent host. So, you invite the guest with your whole heart to stay and explore for few days. Once the guest arrives, you make their stay super comfortable by providing the needed support and care. As the stay grows and extends you start to see certain changes around the home. Because obviously the guest has brought with them their own personality and lifestyle. Your pattern or order, that you have seen or let’s just say are used to, and a believe in, is getting somewhat broken. Now, since you are an excellent host, you would keep the charm and politeness turned on. You accept certain changes but then comes the moment. It is time to decide. The guest decides YES given all the positive reinforcement received so far. You, however, have a condition. Since, you are set in your own ways, you like things in a certain way, obviously. And that has worked well for you or people around you in the past. But, since you have been in the house originally, it also gives you the edge, a sort of power over the guest. So, you suggest the guest that they are welcome to stay and you think that this will work, only if, they make certain adjustments in their personality.

The reason for me to cite this slightly looooooong example, is because, often leaders have the right intentions and open mindset when including and accepting people within the organization, from diverse personalities, choices, and approaches. But, when it comes to the decision point such as growth, often the same personality traits, choices, and approaches are cited as hinderances.

Seems unfair, doesn’t it?

My heart and respect totally go out to those who have made diverse personalities feel accepted and wanted in their organizations. But there is still some room for growth in the mindset of the leaders on - What does success look like?

Success does not have just ONE WAY or ONE DEFINITION.

Let the people experiment and choose their own paths. Support their decisions and moves with not just words but with actions. Don’t penalize them for being who they are or because they are different from most of the world. Don’t force them into changing their core at the behest of growth. I try to follow this in my life.

So, ending with this message:

Be like water, paving path along the way. Not like rock, that blocks and makes the water change its ways