Acceptance Versus Accountability

In corporate life, there is a tremendous amount of emphasis on accountability and responsibility. On the other hand, most religious, philosophical and spiritual systems celebrate those noble qualities like acceptance, tolerance, and patience. And it is not just ordinary acceptance, but cheerful acceptance that is venerated as the way to navigate life’s toughest situations. How to reconcile these perspectives? Does acceptance ever become irresponsible? How can we know when we must be accountable and step in, and when to simply accept what has happened?

The Bhagavad Gita gives us a great example of this dilemma.

The warrior Arjuna is unable to accept fighting a war against his near and dear ones – his family, his teacher, and his elders. How can he be responsible for destroying them? On the other hand, Lord Krishna reminds him of his duty to win a righteous battle and asks him not to worry about the consequences, because they will happen anyway. Accountability and acceptance went hand in hand for Arjuna.

The biggest misconception and the reason we often get stuck is that we think acceptance means doing nothing.

Acceptance is not a lack of action. Some of the behaviors associated with acceptance are the ability to pause, witness what is happening, and arrive at a neutral perspective without reactive judgment.

From that perspective, we can then take unclouded decisions regarding what to do or not do next. We have allowed space for Emotional Intelligence – for listening, empathy, compassion, kindness, and clarity. We don’t necessarily have to fix the problem. Maybe we will accompany it to a higher outcome. Or maybe not.

Acceptance is also often confused with tolerance. There is a big difference. When situations and people are not to our liking, tolerance can help, but it is a lower level of emotional resilience that we muster to survive in these situations. Tolerance is what we try to cultivate when we don’t yet feel accepting. Imagine if you tell your wife, “I must tolerate you!” Do you think your marriage will last long? Tolerance may keep the door from closing, but the door is certainly not wide open and inviting.

Per contra, cheerful acceptance emerges out of a deep-rooted willingness to stay in the flow with whatever is happening.

From this place of acceptance, we are able to decide how best to respond, be naturally patient, and move on. 

Irrespective of how good we are, how hard we work, and how prepared we are, we will face adversity. It is true in corporate life and personal life. The difference between a person who accepts cheerfully, learns and moves on, and someone who resists, and gets frustrated and angry, is that the first person learns and grows much faster, and the path to resolution is smoother. In a sense, we are accountable to accept! Something that seems paradoxical is really not.

I wish you all the emotional strength to be accountable in your professional and personal roles, while cheerfully accepting whatever comes your way.