Acceptance....
In the Spring of 2020, I walked away from a relatively comfortable corporate job.
After a wonderful experience over the preceding 15 years, it was very clear that my future lay elsewhere. During that time, I was fortunate to work with some amazingly talented and kind people.
However, over time circumstances change…….life happens for you, and life happens to you.
Sometimes when you know……you just know.
While I did not know precisely what I wanted to do, or where my future may lay, I did know that my current path was unsustainable and not congruent with who I was as a person.
When my brother, Tony, passed away in 2015 after a ~3 year relationship with ALS / MND, it had a significant impact on our entire family unit, and on me personally.
It took me years to work thru the various stages of grief, and ultimately find purpose and meaning in his passing. At times, the roller coaster of emotions, guilt, fear, and crushing sadness seemed never ending.
Being physically present but emotionally distant became my norm
For a moment or two after I woke up each day, I would not be thinking of his passing. Seconds later, the crushing realization came that he was still gone, it was not a bad dream, and I had to learn to live with and accept this reality.
The ton of bricks which fell on my heart each morning was crushing, and it often felt like this cycle would never end.
With the love, support and guidance of many people, I was slowly able to come to terms with the grief...make space for it....learn to live alongside it, and eventually learn to accept and find meaning.
The care my brother received toward the end of his life by his professional caregivers was amazing. They wiped his nose, helped him bathe, helped him eat, helped him go to the bathroom, helped him change.
Tony made me promise him we would always use double ply, none of this single ply stuff :) Promise kept.
In addition, the caregivers saw Tony the person, respected Tony the person, and loved Tony the person. While some folks looked away as it was uncomfortable, or acted indifferently due to how they needed to process his reality, the caregivers saw the person behind the disease.
They saw Tony. For that alone, I’m eternally grateful.
These caregivers are among the kindest, most loving and bravest people I know. In?a world that can appear indifferent and cold, the simple act of truly seeing another person can make such a profound difference.
It made a difference to my brother.
As I worked thru my grief and allowed myself to actually feel the grief, I came to the realization that my future endeavors needed to be far more in alignment with who I was as a person.
Drowning myself in busy work to avoid "feeling" was understandable, yet unsustainable.
As I moved thru the stages of grief and toward acceptance, the question I kept coming back to was “what now?”?
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While I cannot bring Tony back, I can honor him in the patience, love and care I show to others, including myself. I can honor my brother by providing others with the same level of love, care and support that he received by his professional caregivers.
Put people first.
In September 2021, I opened Homewatch Caregivers of Mooresville in NC. Our mission was to become the premier in-home care organization in the area, and we would do that by focusing all our actions on honoring the individual and providing each person / family with unsurpassed in-home care.
We would provide our community with quality caregivers who would help care for people in their homes, help keep people at home longer, and support families as they juggled caring for their loved ones at the same time as working and taking care of their own needs.
With the support of many great people, our ability to serve grew steadily by placing people at the heart of our decisions.
One person at a time, one interaction at a time, one day at a time.
Always focusing on being present and working with the next best action……..what can we do (now) to help this person / family / situation?
In September 2023, we were given the opportunity to expand our service area to include Charlotte NC and all of Mecklenburg county, North Carolina’ 2nd most populous county.
While our service area has expanded, our mission has not.
Some days are exceptionally hard and completely draining, but keeping the memory of my brother front and center always grounds me in my “why.”
I miss him, and I cannot bring him back. I’ve now accepted that reality.
However, I can make choices each day which honor my brother, and honor his legacy.
Choices which are centered in respect, in love, in truth, and focused on what is best for each person and family entrusted with our care.
My belief is that everything is about trust, and this trust must be earned thru our actions and our words.
As we introduce ourselves to Mecklenburg county, please take a moment to read the background article in the comments. It provides a bit more detail on our journey and elaborates on “why” I chose this path.
Thank you to everyone who has been present during this journey.
We look forward to caring for our neighbors, our colleagues, and our community, and providing every single person with the care, love and respect they deserve.
When you or your loved ones need care, we can be reached at 704-503-4660.
We look forward to earning your trust with our actions and our words.
SVP Enterprise Solutions Group Lead, Institutional Group
10 个月Wow Martin, that is amazing. Congrats and thanks for sharing.
I followed you thru linked in over the past few years Martin but never realized the extent of your journey. Truly inspiring story and hope you, your family and your company are doing well!
Director, Industrial and Strategic Partnerships at SRNL
10 个月Still getting some wear out of my Conway Cup shirt. I miss Tony’s personality and his presence on the pitch (though only if he was on my side)!
Business Consultant - Making Accepting Payments and Payroll More Secure, Profitable, And Cost Effective at Heartland
10 个月Congratulations on your expansion to the charlotte area. Sending you my best wishes towards your continued honoring your brother through caring for others in need. The world can definitely benefit from more of this attitude of sharing love & respect towards humankind.
Global Senior Marketing Director at GSK
10 个月Stay strong! You have made amazing progress. I would most definitely want my family to be taken care of by your organization.