Accept your partner’s flaws…Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.

I have flaws but those flaws are the seeds from which something truly unique comes out.

Sometimes, we can accept our partner’s flaws because we are not flawless however, I usually see that changing yourself is good for a relationship. In fact, often it’s absolutely necessary.

Relationships are based on compromise because, despite rom-com fantasies, there is no such thing as a “perfect fit” between people.

There are some “almost-there” fits and “pretty darn close” fits, but you’re never going to find someone who just so happens to conform exactly to the life you’ve established as a single person.

There will be awkward angles and sharp edges between you and your partner that have to be pared down, shaped, and molded so that you can fit together as a strong, seamless unit.

Many of these changes will happen naturally throughout the course of your relationship; others will be harder adjustments, transitions that require a lot of work from both of you.

Sometimes, we can accept our partner’s flaws because we are not flawless however, I usually see that changing yourself is good for a relationship. In fact, often it’s absolutely necessary.

There are some “almost-there” fits and “pretty darn close” fits, but you’re never going to find someone who just so happens to conform exactly to the life you’ve established as a single person.

There will be awkward angles and sharp edges between you and your partner that have to be pared down, shaped, and molded so that you can fit together as a strong, seamless unit.

Many of these changes will happen naturally throughout the course of your relationship; others will be harder adjustments, transitions that require a lot of work from both of you.

Seeing as everyone has flaws, you have to come to terms with the idea that these flaws in your partner may be the ones they keep for life. Could you tolerate that?

Too many people go into relationships thinking they can change a person and that’s just not likely. If you don’t like someone how they are, why be with them? Relationships aren’t houses, they aren’t “fixer-uppers.” Take them as is and if they improve, great. If not, be ready to accept that too.

Everyone has some things they just absolutely cannot stand. For myself, I need people who are direct and can express themselves succinctly while remaining calm. No fits of anger or explosive emotions.

If I found someone who had fits like that, I’d have to cut it off with them because that’s just a hard line I won’t tolerate.

My partner has flaws, just like I do but she tolerates mine and I tolerate his because we already agree on the major things. She’s kind, selfless and level headed and those are big things to me so I can overlook his flaws, obsession with tech, etc.

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Thank you ….No one’s perfect but you can come close if you accept you and your partner will have flaws because you are both human.

Simple solution!

Stop feeling bad and stop doing it.

We are all flawed. Acceptance and understanding are key to a successful relationship.

Why do YOU focus on flaws instead of positive qualities?

It depends on the flaws - If he has addiction problems or is not communicating with you, it would be understandable why you might focus on that, but that would not be helpful.

Ideally, if it is a CORRECTABLE flaw, or a problem with communication or your inter-relationship, it is something not to focus on, but to DISCUSS and deal with together!

He is perfect in his own way and doesn't have any major flaws.

Only thing which bothers me occasionally is that, he is not expressive.

He doesn't express his love and feelings. He doesn't talk about anything openly.

Usually, I find out that he is worried about something through his facial expressions.

Even then, he takes a lot of time to open up about the issue.

But, I don't want him to change in this aspect because I like to motivate and console him.

He listens to what I say, just like how a little kid listens to mom.

Even though he is sad, he looks so cute and I love those moments.

I am little disappointed because he doesn't express love, but I am happy that he indirectly expresses his love through his looks and smile.

Hence, I don't want him to change and I don't consider this as a flaw.

Do you want to add a word or two?....

I used to go steady with this really cute, adorable little strawberry blonde girl with big green eyes. She was so good looking that I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. And I had admit that I couldn’t stop thinking about her when we were apart - her little petite body was SO hot!

She followed me around like a puppy dog and completely devoted her life to making me happy anyway she could. But she was amazingly dumb. We simply were NOT intellectual equals.

One day she told me that she had signed up for kickboxing classes. I asked her what kind of boxes she would be kicking and how far would she need to kick them?

She didn’t get it.

But here’s the thing. I broke up with her because we just couldn’t think on the same wave length. And to this day, I consider this to be one of the biggest mistakes of my life. She eventually married another guy and 40 years later, she is still married to him and takes very good care of him.

God I hate myself when I think about it. In all honesty, you can and will have intelligent conversations with your friends. That’s what they are for. But a dumb girl is a gift from heaven. I’m not kidding.

Your Comments……

Dumb girls do not cheat. They don’t manipulate. They are not little prissy entitlement queens. They do not talk about you behind your back but rather, will defend you when you’re not around. They will look to you to provide the family’s leadership and they will depend on you to get the big important decisions made. They will not usurp your position as head of the house.

If your dumb girl is anything like my dumb girl was, you need to MARRY HER!

The best way to deal with them is to accepting the fact that no one is perfect and no two ppl can be completely alike.

Now, it all comes down to the extent of those differences. Differences will always be there and they keep things interesting but those differences should not be completely different to your belief system or principles. This is where compatibility plays a role and hence you should be married to the person you are compatible with emotionally, intellectually, physically and financially.

In case you are compatible and still have some differences or flaws, you deal with them the same way you deal with differences with your parents or siblings. We fight, yell, stop talking for a while, but in the end the love for the other person overcomes those differences and you accept them and love them along with their flaws.

Again, this should happen both ways. Both need to start accepting and loving each other with those flaws. Many a times, there is one person giving in everything and other one taking it for granted. This will never lead to a healthy partnership.

Now consider the case you are completely opposite and just can't stand each other, I guess there should be a completely different question for this because then it becomes a problem and not just differences.

My biggest flaw is probably my attention span or lack thereof. And while it might seem contradictory, my biggest strength is my work ethic.

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