Accept both compliments and criticism

Let us start with a Winston Churchill quote, "Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things". To begin with, we as humans are not generally fond of people criticizing and pin-pointing faults in us. We never take it seriously, but always take it personally. We get offended by it, even if our parents are the ones doing it. My perspective is not to ignore or take it lightly, I take a different route when I face it.

I'll take the second word, first. Gracefully. The only way to take criticism gracefully is to listen to it. Just listen to whatever someone is saying to you. and when I say listen, it doesn't mean to splash it our from the other ear (the common advice to ignore someone's ranting). Listen carefully, each and everything as if you're learning something very important, something exciting. This attitude will give you an inquisitive expression, making the person, who's criticizing you, believe that you're serious about listening to it, which you should be unless it's totally irrelevant (bullshit). An occasional 'ok', 'alright' to keep yourself involved and focus on the criticism. Remember, it's good to be criticized as it gives you a chance to improve.

Now for taking it Positively. Remember that small tale of Buddha about anger and boiling water? One can't see clearly through when water is boiling but when it cools down, things become clear. So when a person is offended, he/she gets angry, they close their 'other's perception' section of their thinking which leads them to think ill of that person, thus, not hearing or trying to understand what the other person wants to say and in what way.

So after listening carefully, introspect, analyze. Lay down in front all the things that person said it to you. Talk to yourself and try to understand whether those things actually did harm your conduct previously, or in any way affecting your current state. Take someone else's thoughts on it, too. Someone who knows you personally, or professionally in case the criticizer is your boss or anyone from work area. My new rule: my purpose is to get better, and that means that I don’t know it all and might learn from others. so that means, to learn, I must listen to others. Now I know that most have been traumatized and give the wrong feedback, yet even then if I consider the opposite, it may be of use.

By the use of common sense. My rule of thumb is to do a quick check as to whether the criticism is constructive. If so, I am grateful for the help and put it on my mental to-do list. If it isn't, I try not to engage with the one offering said criticism. It’s not easy! It’s in our nature, most of us at least, to react defensively when anybody, no matter how well intended, points out our flaws, defects, errors, mistakes or anything that is detrimental to our natural and positive perception of ourselves. I personally am extremely sensitive and have struggled all my life to react positively to criticism and although I have progressed, I still tend on occasions to react negatively when it happens.

First and above all assume the person criticizing is not attacking me, but is only trying to help and has my best interests at heart. Try and be objective when listening, and avoid as much as possible giving excuses or justifications. Never forget that those who excuse themselves, accuse themselves! If you feel bad, angry or want to react negatively to criticism, just thank the person, honestly and truly, let go, move on, and forget about it.

Once you have calmed down, analyze the criticism objectively and if what was said was true, learn the lesson and take the necessary steps to avoid doing it/them again. There is always the possibility that the criticism is being done with malice or with the intent to hurt. In that case please never, ever react, for if you do the other person has obtained his objective, and you simply can’t allow them that pleasure. Just smile with all your being, thank them and move on, they will have lost! Cheers!