Abuse,Blows, Insults. How to cope.

Chapter XXI, Enchiridion

Remember that it is not he who gives abuse or blows, who affronts, but the view we take of these things as insulting. When, therefore, anyone provokes you, be assured that it is your own opinion which provokes you. Try, therefore, in the first place, not to be bewildered by appearances. For if you once gain time and respite, you will more easily command yourself.

Thoughts

a. Stoic outlook on receiving verbal or physical abuse. The insult and/or the injury is not the event but the view you take on these things.

b. Stoics suggest that we can not be insulted/hurt/affronted unless we choose to be. Consequently, abuse or blows are not controllable, however we can control are reactions to them. Thus we control the level of hurt sustained.

c. Maintenance of equilibrium, harmony and happiness are within our control.

d.A hurtful opinion expressed, is reframed , he is entitled to be wrong, he is entitled to an opinion.

e. Stoics suggest we should ask, Is this person important to me? Have I a strong relationship with him? If not his opinion is worthless.

f. Opinions, malicious talk and abuse are outside our control. Our reactions to these are not. Let it go as meaningless noise from a meaningless source.

g. Do not be overawed by appearance, power and status, these do not make opinions or observations more noteworthy.

h. Do not react, rest and allow time to elapse to the abuse. The event will be easier to deal with, when emotion is removed.

i. Sports applications e.g.

* dealing with sledging from opponents

* dealing with adverse media commentary

* dealing with trolls on social media

* dealing with abuse from fans