The Absurdity of the "As a Woman, How Do You..." Question

'Tis the season, and thus there's a palpable uptick in the attention directed towards women. From panels and speeches to awards and accolades, the spotlight intensifies. This heightened focus, whether it manifests as genuine appreciation or veers into the realm of tokenism, itself is worth contemplating. However, today, I want to discuss a specific form of attention women receive in and around March— the "As a woman, how do you..." question.

The "As a woman, how do you..." question makes me deeply uncomfortable. Of course, I am well aware that there are many challenges unique to women and even more so for successful women in Ethiopia.

However, the way women are bombarded with these questions, and often with these questions alone, often around this time of year, makes it sound like women— on the rare occasion the limelight is on them— have nothing more to offer than a roadmap to navigating the "struggle of being a woman." But we all know women have far, far more to offer than that.

The way these questions are framed and presented almost gives the impression that some of these women's achievements were made in spite of them being women. The implicit bias subtly implies that the norm or standard is male, and anything outside of that requires special justification.

In many contexts, a person's gender may be irrelevant to their professional achievements, challenges faced, or insights. By placing such emphatic emphasis on gender, what's said between the lines, to me, is that women's accomplishments are noteworthy primarily because of their gender, rather than their hard work, talent, or creativity.

The way these questions are asked— the frequency and intensity— often makes it sound like womanhood is a disability to be overcome. I don't want to pull a cheap substitutionary trick, but you literally will never hear someone ask, "As a man, how do you..." despite men facing their own form of challenges, albeit likely less in quantity and intensity, that are unique to them.

This query has often been presented to me as well— I've been asked to illuminate the evidently ?????? world of functioning as a woman in different contexts as it is apparently shrouded in great mystery. This framing— "As a woman"— is bizarrely alienating or marginalizing (to me). When asked these questions, I often wonder, is it that men's experiences or perspectives are the default from which women's experiences deviate, and thus I am required to present a special clarification?

It's not simply the "As a woman, how do you..." questions. There are many queries made to women that are blatantly offensive, like that time Frehiwot, CEO of Ethiotelecom, was asked, on national TV nonetheless, perhaps rhetorically, how she's able to lead in a public sphere as an unmarried woman. Us women, I imagine, often touched by the gesture of being asked at all, rarely put up any defenses, regardless of how defensible and offensive the question may be,

The questions become so inane, so basic that ??? it's going to be, "As a woman, how do you breathe?" or "??? ??? ??? ?? ??? ???? ????? ????" ...

To me, challenges and achievements are often complex and multifaceted. Even when discussing the many unique challenges women face, reducing them to a matter of gender oversimplifies these issues and overlooks the nuanced interplay of various factors that contribute to an individual's experiences.

My theory of why this happens so much is that, women are so rarely given due attention, that those giving it want to virtue-signal to no end— "See, we have brought A WOMAN here, she is A WOMAN, it's March 8 and she is going to tell us what it's like to be A WOMAN." Cue the "As A WOMAN" questions.

All this to say— let's stop tokenizing women. Women, on a macro and micro scale, have more to contribute, say, opine on, and more to do than can be reduced to being a woman.

Perhaps I'm micro-fixating on a non-issue [willing to be persuaded]. I'd truly love to hear your thoughts on the overall rhetoric and narrative that is common around this time of year, especially in our context here in Ethiopia.