The Absolute Best Way to Ask For and Receive Actionable Feedback

Guard Down – Put your body in a more relaxed state to receive feedback by taking slow, deep breaths. Let your shoulders and jaw relax, with your arms by your sides to resemble an open body posture. Stay present, listen deeply without interrupting, and remind yourself this is one individual’s insight or perspective.

Reflect – Rather than reject, deflect, or protect yourself from a Truth Teller’s words, reflect on the message. After all, we can’t change what we won’t or don’t acknowledge. Reflecting, versus reacting, allows you to gain awareness as you seek nuggets of truth. Not all feedback is going to be 100% accurate or helpful, yet all feedback is worth examining and absorbing.

Ask Questions – Should you receive fuzzy feedback, such as “You need to play a stronger role on the team,” ask for additional clarity. ?“I’d like to better understand your input. Would you please provide a clear behavioral example that leads you to make that statement?” Or, “Are you speaking about my behavior since the recent department reorganization or in general?” If you’re looking for direction ask, “I’d appreciate your advice. If you were in my shoes, what would you do differently?” or “If you found yourself in my situation, how would you proceed?” Continue to ask questions until you truly understand their perspective, especially if you emotionally feel yourself pushing back.

Clarify & Confirm – Summarize your discussion to alleviate misunderstandings and confirm next steps. “If I heard you correctly, during meetings you’d like me to encourage participation and draw out the more introverted members of our team, as well as, hold team members accountable for deadlines. Is that accurate?” ?If appropriate, share how you plan to implement a Truth Teller’s insight which allows them to feel heard and respected. Following, make notes on the conversation and your commitments to revisit with a fresh perspective when less emotionally charged. Rather than ruminate on the discussion, which often happens due to our negativity bias, focus on taking aligned action and putting into practice new behaviors.

Express Thanks – No matter your reaction to someone’s feedback, a “thank you” is still in order if it was delivered with good intentions. Perhaps the timing or delivery could have been better, yet for most, sharing their truth still took a tremendous amount of courage. ?A simple, “Thank you. You’ve given me a lot to think about,” covers just about everything.

Following a speaking engagement , I consistently follow-up with the organizer and ask, “Please share with me any and all feedback to help me grow further faster.” Moving forward, I’ll be asking for their advice, and I’m always grateful for yours as well.

At the heart of every sale, every interaction between a leader and a team member, every conversation with a customer…. is a connection. And most importantly, connection begins within. How to make those connections effective, and leverage them for greater success whether in person or remotely, is the thread that is woven into every one of Colette Carlson’s presentations. For more information on Colette’s customized, virtual or in-person programs, give us a call.