Abracadabra

"Who likes math? Are you all good with numbers?" Victor, the magician, asks. "I see that most of you are raising your hands. So, let's get started. Pick any number between 1 and 9. Multiply it by 3 and add 6 to your result. Divide your answer by 3. Finally, subtract the initial number you picked. Now, let me read your minds..." he says, closing his eyes and lightly touching the sides of his head with his index fingers. "Here it comes…here it comes…I have it! The number you picked is two," he concludes, and the stunned audience applauds.

Victor knew he wanted to be an illusionist the day his father bought him a magic kit for his eighth birthday. It was a bright Saturday morning when they went to the toy store they passed on their way to school every day. For months, a large, dark-brown wooden box smelling of fresh pine had been on display. Inside, there was a pristine deck of cards, a pair of red loaded dice, a few beige cotton ropes and shiny metal linking rings, a black hat made of synthetic silk and decorated with a red ribbon, and, of course, a black plastic magic wand with silver ends. As soon as they returned home, Victor found himself making a bright yellow foam ball disappear beneath three little white plastic cups in front of his little sister and the family cat. Needless to say, the former thought of him as nothing less than a powerful and enigmatic sorcerer. The latter, however, pondered with dreamy eyes why it was so difficult for the youngest human to realize that the ball was hidden in the boy’s clenched fist.

After 30 years, Victor is far from living his childhood dream. He doesn’t perform in a fancy casino in Las Vegas, as he once imagined. Nor does he tour the world with his own show, as he had hoped. Much to his frustration, children's parties like the one today have become his main source of income. Unfortunately, business is scarce, as he only manages to book a couple of weekend shows. It’s also somewhat unpredictable because it’s based on word of mouth. In turn, his financial situation tends to be, to put it mildly, precarious. Furthermore, the novel and grandiose illusions he envisions in his spare time rarely see the light of day as they tend to be rather far-fetched (making a helicopter disappear in midair isn't cheap).

Broken dreams, uncertainty, and plain dissatisfaction with life are all affecting his mood, happiness, and overall mental health. Victor is frequently stressed and overwhelmed as a result of having too many issues to deal with. His worries consume a large portion of his day, leading him to become hopeless and disinterested in the world around him. Not only does he struggle to control his emotions, but his physical health is also suffering. Headaches, insomnia, fatigue, muscle aches, and minor illnesses have all become a nuisance. Furthermore, he frequently feels anger and resentment, particularly toward people he believes have wronged him. As a result, he not only struggles to form and maintain relationships, but he has also distanced himself from those close to him. This leaves him feeling lonely and empty. He wants to get out of it, but he doesn't know how.

"Speak to a therapist," his sister has suggested to him several times. "Psychotherapy isn't just for people suffering from mental illnesses. It can help anyone who is dealing with stress, intense emotions, or major life changes. You'll be able to vent and consider your options in a safe, non-judgmental environment. This will help you to develop the necessary skills to deal with various life challenges. We all require extra support from time to time, dear brother." But the mere thought of sharing his feelings with a stranger makes Victor anxious. "What if they think I’m crazy? Worse, what if they think I'm a crybaby? It's so embarrassing for me to reveal my secrets! No way, I'm not going to do it. I can handle it on my own," he tells himself.

Psychotherapy helps people suffering from a wide range of mental illnesses and emotional difficulties. This is due to the fact that therapists frequently combine elements from various approaches to best meet the needs of the person receiving treatment. For example, according to the American Psychiatric Association , cognitive behavioral therapy assists people in identifying and changing harmful or ineffective thought and behavior patterns, replacing them with more accurate beliefs and functional behaviors. Interpersonal therapy assists patients in understanding underlying interpersonal issues that are troubling them, such as unresolved grief, changes in social or occupational roles, and interpersonal problems. Dialectical behavior therapy teaches new skills to assist people in accepting personal responsibility for changing harmful or disruptive behavior. And psychodynamic therapy, including its intense form of psychoanalysis, helps people improve self-awareness and change old patterns based on the idea that childhood experiences and unconscious thoughts or feelings influence behavior and mental well-being.

However, psychotherapy is not a magic trick. According to the Mayo Clinic , the patient is expected to do three things in order for it to work. The first step is to approach therapy as a collaboration. Therapy is most effective when we participate actively and make decisions. We must ensure that we and our therapist agree on the major issues and how to address them. We can set goals and track our progress over time if we work together. Homework assignments are especially important because they help us apply what we learn in therapy sessions to our daily lives. Second, we must be open and honest with one another. The willingness to share our thoughts, feelings, and experiences, as well as consider new insights, ideas, and ways of doing things, is essential for success. Reluctance to discuss certain issues due to painful emotions, embarrassment, or concerns about our therapist's reaction will reduce the treatment's effectiveness. Third, we must adhere to our treatment plan. It may be tempting to skip psychotherapy sessions when we are feeling down or unmotivated. This could stymie our progress. Working on emotional issues can also be painful and time-consuming. We may need several sessions before we see any progress.

The American Psychiatric Association notes that approximately 75 percent of people who enter treatment benefit. So, why do so many people avoid psychotherapy if it’s so beneficial? Whether we agree or disagree, there are a lot of stigmas around therapy. They stem from misunderstandings about anxiety, depression, and other issues. Good Therapy points out that the most common reason for people not to seek help from a therapist is concern about how others will perceive them. This is due to deeply ingrained false beliefs and stereotypes in our society. Furthermore, misconceptions about therapy frequently discourage people from seeking help. "'Going to therapy implies that I'm weak, flawed, or insane," "Therapy will only make things worse," "Therapy is endless and expensive," "The therapist will confirm my worst fears," and "The therapist will question, blame, and shame me," are just a few examples.

There’s one more stumbling block to avoid. Many people consider their friends to be their therapists. This is as far from reality as it gets. According to Psychology Today , while supportive friends can be a comforting resource, they are not as objective as a therapist. Friends tend to back friends, even if they are making poor decisions about their problems. Friends may gossip about one another, causing hurt, animosity, and mistrust among them. And friends often grow tired of hearing the same problems discussed over and over again with no resolution. Overall, friends can be a supportive and close group to have when times are tough; however, they should not be considered a substitute for a professional therapist.

While there are many therapists available, finding someone we like and who helps us grow may not be quick or easy. According to Healthline , it all starts with proper research. A referral from a friend, colleague, or doctor we trust is an excellent way to locate a therapist who may be a good fit for us. Furthermore, several mental health organizations keep up-to-date, searchable databases of licensed therapists. Depending on where we live, we may be able to attend local support groups or organizations such as a community center, school, or place of worship. Furthermore, many workplaces have resources to help us locate professionals who can assist with mental health needs. PsychCentral also emphasizes that online therapy can be a valuable resource for many people. We can access it through a variety of apps, but we must be careful to select one that only provides licensed professionals. It encourages us to avoid therapists who "specialize" in everything, claim to be able to "cure" us, have inappropriate boundaries, and, in general, those with whom we are uneasy.

Have you experienced a traumatic event, such as the loss of someone or something important in your life? To cope, do you use alcohol, drugs, or food? Do you have a persistent and overwhelming sense of helplessness, sadness, and grief? Do you obsess over harmful or useless thoughts to the point where you find it difficult to carry out daily tasks? Are you easily triggered by the most insignificant things? Are you isolating yourself from family and friends? Do you have excessive worry, catastrophic thoughts, or are you constantly on edge? Are you acting in such a way that you endanger others? Are your emotions escalating to the point where you wonder if life is even worth living? If you answered yes to any of these or other similar questions, you should consider therapy. Not only is your physical health, peace of mind, and overall happiness at stake here, but it could also be your life.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Victor says to the applauding crowd. "Would you like me to perform one more mind-reading trick?" he asks. As they move and rattle in their orange plastic chairs, the children yell "Yeees!" in unison. "All right, then. Answer these questions as quickly as you can," Victor says in a low, almost mystic tone. “When is Christmas? What is the number between 1 and 3? What are hamburgers made of? Think of a color. Think of a tool…I bet you thought of a red hammer!"

Author: Esteban Polidura, CFA. May 27, 2023.

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