Above All Else, Be You

I made a commitment to myself a few months ago to start publishing this newsletter and that I would be consistent with it no matter what was going on.? Then last week, I published nothing and broke that commitment to myself, but I want to come clean on why I did it…or didn’t do it, I guess.

I love to write, I always have, but I’ve also always told myself that I’m not good at it.? That I have no idea what to write about and, even if I did, nobody would really care about what I’m writing.? I’ve had visions and dreams of writing scripts and screenplays, books, blogs, reviews, articles…you name it and I’ve probably had ideas of what I would write and had visions of its success, but never followed through with any of those.? Self-doubt can be crippling, as most of us have felt.?

As part of my challenge to myself to live in discomfort to force continuous growth, I made that commitment in November 2024 to start publishing this weekly newsletter.? Having to write every single week would definitely be uncomfortable for me for a few reasons, including the consistency of following through when something isn’t necessarily fun anymore and getting past my limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome.

So last week, as I was working through final edits of Stuck to Scale’s 10th edition, I just couldn’t bring myself to finish it and publish it.? It just didn’t really feel like me.? I have been trying to find topics that would help people who feel stuck in their business’ growth and the writing felt like it was just becoming mechanical and I was more focused on writing impactful things than using my true voice to just be myself.? I was already looking forward to the “likes” and shares and writing something that I thought would teach people, rather than focusing on just sharing what felt right and in my own way.

So I missed my deadline and then just skipped it altogether.

I knew I needed to take a pause and rethink why I was actually sharing what I share in this newsletter.

For a week I struggled to get motivated to write it and as today’s deadline approached again, I took another shot at that edition and realized I just couldn’t do it.

Then it occurred to me, I was already not being authentic to myself and my voice.? I was breaking my own rule that I teach my clients on the importance of authenticity and showing up as your authentic self each and every day and in every interaction.??

For me, being authentic means being comfortable in my own skin and in my own voice. It means I’ll inevitably say the wrong thing sometimes, or won’t be the right fit for everyone, but at least I can show up in a way I can be proud of every day. That’s how I’ve built trust and strong relationships in my career—I’m not a “yes man,” (those who know me know that well) and I won’t just follow the script to make someone else happy. People know I’m acting in what I genuinely believe is right.

Ironically, there was a time in my corporate life when I lost sight of that as well. Fear of losing the success I’d worked so hard for led me to go along with narratives and agendas that I really didn’t believe in or support, just to avoid conflict and to keep the peace. Plus I was told that “the more senior your position, this is just what you had to do”—learn to toe the line. In the end, it cost me my health and my relationships. I burned out, and that inauthentic version of me leaked into every other part of my life. Only when I finally allowed myself to speak my own truth did I start to heal, even though it meant eventually leaving that company. I wasn’t willing to trade my well-being just to make someone else comfortable.

Now, one of the core principles I encourage my clients to embrace is that same authenticity, because it’s more than just “being real.” Your authenticity is your brand. It starts with knowing your core values—the beliefs you’d be willing to hire or fire people over, or the boundaries you’d be willing to walk away from a customer for. When you’re true to those, delivering your product or service becomes a lot easier, and leading your team requires less energy because you’re not juggling multiple versions of yourself. It’s sustainable, and it breeds trust, both for you and everyone around you.

Which brings me back to skipping last week’s newsletter.? As much as I am disappointed I broke the commitment I made to myself, I’m happy I took the time to pause and reflect. If I can’t be my real self in these words, then what’s the point??

It might help with reach or visibility, but it’s not worth compromising who I am. If you’re reading this and feeling the same way—torn between what you really want to say and what you think people want to hear—ask yourself if the approval you’re chasing is worth losing yourself over.

There’s a huge freedom in just being you, flaws and all. That’s the version of you worth sharing with the world. So from here on out, that’s exactly what I plan to do with this newsletter—say what feels right, focus on showing up as myself, and trust that the people who need to hear it will stick around. It might not please everyone, but I’ve learned that trying to please everyone is a quick way to please no one, especially not yourself.

I hope you find something in this to help you let go of whatever mask you might be wearing and show up authentically in your own life and business. Because at the end of the day, I’d rather fail or stumble while being true to who I am than succeed at being someone I’m not. That’s when the real magic happens, and I hope you’ll join me in pursuing that kind of freedom.Let’s support each other in the comments and either share who your true authentic self is in a few words, or tag someone who has helped you in your journey to be your authentic self.