ABCDE of Learned Optimism

”Optimism generates hope...hope releases dreams...dreams set goals...enthusiasm follows.” Martin Seligman

I introduced Martin Seligman previously; he is recognised as the founder of Positive Psychology in the late 90s. He has researched extensively in the areas of pessimism and optimism; developed useful models to support increased optimism; written books on Learned Optimism; and specifically considered the challenge for lawyers due to inherent personality preferences and the nature of the legal education system.

Let’s start with the universal concept of optimism and consider its benefits. Simply thinking about optimism as a concept makes me smile!

Optimism is defined as hopefulness and confidence about the future. or the successful outcome of something. Its synonyms are - hopefulness ·, hope ·, confidence · buoyancy · cheer · good cheer · cheerfulness · sanguineness · positiveness, · positive attitude.

Optimism is understood to be a reasoned, cognitive process that can be learned and consciously applied.

Optimists are –

• better able to cope with challenges
• enjoy better health
• have better moods and higher morale
• more successful academically and in their careers

Learned optimism

Learned optimism involves developing the ability to view the world from a positive point of view. It is often contrasted with learned helplessness, another area of Seligman’s research from the 1960s. This is a state where we are conditioned to be passive, pessimistic, and take no action. It is possible to learn to become more optimistic by challenging negative self-talk and replacing it with more positive self-talk – like the ‘inner coach’ I share in the last chapter. It’s also possible to challenge limiting beliefs and replace them with more positive, or empowering, beliefs.

Techniques to increase optimism

“I am fundamentally an optimist…part of being optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward.” Nelson Mandela

Optimism is closely related to resilience and our ability to bounce back when faced with setbacks and to keep moving forward towards our purpose.

There are many techniques available to support us in increasing our optimism. Many of them relate to the way we think and our beliefs; here’s a summary of simple and effective techniques that you can apply immediately –

Empowering beliefs – we all have limiting beliefs that reduce our confidence and hold us back from making positive changes. With reflection or the help of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, it is possible to identify these and replace them with more positive, empowering beliefs that support our purpose and goals. I can rather than I can’t…I will rather than I will try…I choose rather than I must

Curiosity, not judgment – it is too easy to make negative assumptions or judgements about people and situations. Firstly, identify when you are doing this, and then seek to understand by having a curious mindset. Judgment is often what holds us back from empathy and genuine understanding.

Personal growth rather than comparisons – it is too easy to compare ourselves to others in a negative way. There will always be people who are smarter, more attractive, and more confident. Focus instead on the improvements that you make and your progress towards achieving your purpose and goals. Don’t compare yourself to others; seek rather to do the best you can. Research shows that negative comparisons cause stress.

Live in the present – many people spend a lot of time dwelling on the past and waste energy with ‘what could have been’. Use the past as a learning experience that informs how you live now. Dwelling on the past stops us from looking for new opportunities. It hinders progress and can attract further unhappiness. Conversely, too much dreaming about the future without concrete action plans can also be disempowering.

Conversations rather than arguments – when you have a differing opinion from someone else, it can be easier to avoid them. It is better to seek to understand through conversation rather than force your opinion.

See the possibilities – The language you use matters. If you cling to words such as always, never, forever, you are possibly an all-or-nothing thinker. Things always go wrong for me. I will never get the right equations. I am forever a failure. These are typical thoughts of a person with more of a fixed mindset. Doing away with all-or-nothing thinking may help. Also useful is using the word yet; this word implies that you will reach your goal soon.

Expect the best outcome – it is good to plan for the worst and expect the best. And then put all your energy into achieving the best outcome. It is too easy to evaluate situations and assume the negative. Adjusting the language we use changes our relationship with our circumstances immediately. It’s the “glass is half full or half empty” philosophy.

Problem-solving – rather than assigning blame. Habitual blaming increases bitterness and anger. Being angry or seeking to assign blame doesn’t solve the problem. It holds you back rather than helping you to move forward. Assess the situation calmly and then move into a problem-solving mode to generate possible solutions or to avoid the situation occurring again.

Negative emotions are feedback – allowing negative emotions to dominate your thoughts and feelings erodes your happiness. The negative emotions often have no impact on the person with whom you are angry, frustrated, disappointed, etc. It is better to acknowledge the negative emotion with curiosity and use it as feedback. Why did I feel that way? And what can I do differently next time?

“A good listener is very nearly as attractive as a good talker. You cannot have a beautiful mind if you do not know how to listen.”

A discussion should be a genuine attempt to explore a subject rather than a battle between competing egos.”

Edward De Bono, How to Have a Beautiful Mind

I love these quotes from Edward De Bono. They come from one of my favourite books, How to Have a Beautiful Mind, 2004. Lawyers can benefit most from three simple yet extremely powerful concepts from this book - suspend judgment, adopt an attitude of curiosity, and seek conversations rather than arguments.

It’s worthwhile considering how these might apply to your own behaviour, particularly as lawyers are taught to argue and often see their work as a battlefield. This can get in the way of genuine rapport and understanding.

3 Ps Model for Optimism

A super simple and effective tool to support resilience and a more optimistic approach after a setback is the 3Ps Model – Personal, Pervasive, and Permanent. I learnt this tool recently from Sue Langley, a global leader in the field of Positive Psychology, and I have been unable to trace its origins. I’m already using it myself and incorporating it into my coaching sessions.

One way to develop a more optimistic outlook is to consider the 3Ps when a negative event or setback occurs. It helps to consider Personal, Pervasive, and Permanent as continuums.

1. Personalisation - When things go wrong, optimists are able to consider their influence on the situation, as well as external forces or circumstances outside of their control. Pessimists are more likely to blame themselves for the adverse events of negative circumstances, even when they may have had little influence over the situation. At the same time, optimists tend to view good events as being a result of their own efforts, while pessimists link good outcomes to external influences.
2. Permanence - Optimists, tend to view bad times as temporary. Because of this, they also tend to be better able to bounce back after failures or setbacks. Pessimists are more likely to see negative events as permanent and unchangeable. This is why they are often more likely to give up when things get tough.
3. Pervasiveness - When optimists experience failure or negative events in one area of their lives, they do not let it influence their beliefs about their abilities in other areas. Pessimists, however, view setbacks as more pervasive. In other words, if they fail at one thing, they believe they will fail at everything.

Applying it to yourself

Firstly, consider the negative event or setback

Step 1 – Personal – understand your contribution and control over the event. Is it completely within or completely outside of your control? If it’s outside of your control, you may be able to simply let it go; if it is within your control, then you have the power to take positive actions to change the outcome or circumstances

Step 2 – Permanent – consider if the event and its impacts are permanent or will dissipate quickly or perhaps take longer to get over.

Step 3 – Pervasive – how many areas of your life and wellbeing does the event negatively impact? Is it perhaps contained in one small area of your life, or does it impact all areas of your life?

Typically, when you undertake this process, it helps you to gain a sense of perspective, plan positive action, or simply decide to let the event go and release yourself from the impacts.

ABCDE Model of Learned Optimism

Seligman believes that anyone can learn how to become more optimistic. People who start out more optimistic can further improve their own emotional health, while those who are more pessimistic can benefit by lowering their chances of experiencing symptoms of depression. As we considered earlier, lawyers tend toward the pessimistic end of the spectrum, and this is magnified and reinforced by the demands of legal education, as well as the nature of the work to be adversarial and look for faults.

Seligman's approach to learning optimism is based on the work of Aaron Beck and Albert Ellis. Beck looked at cognitive behaviour techniques, and Ellis worked in the area of rational emotive behavioural therapy. Both approaches are focused on identifying the underlying thoughts that influence behaviours and then actively challenging such beliefs.

Adversity - The situation that calls for a response

Think about a recent negative event or challenge that you faced. I suggest considering work-related adversity, although the techniques work just as well in all areas of your life.

Belief - How we interpret the event

Take note and write down the thoughts that run through your mind when you think about this adversity. Don’t overthink it, be as honest as you can, and write down all your thoughts and feelings without editing them.

Consequence - The way that we behave, respond, or feel

Consider the consequences and behaviours that resulted from the thoughts are beliefs you recorded above. Did the thoughts and beliefs result in positive actions, or did they keep you from reaching your desired outcome? Often our ingrained, unconscious beliefs have a limiting impact on our abilities and actions.

Disputation: The effort we expend to argue or dispute the belief

Next, you challenge the thoughts and beliefs that contributed to the negative event or challenging circumstances. Think about the thoughts and beliefs you experienced and look for other examples that disprove these beliefs. Look for other similar events where there was a different outcome.

Energisation: The outcome that emerges from trying to challenge our beliefs

Lastly, consider how you feel now that you have challenged your thoughts and beliefs. After thinking of times when you have worked hard to resolve adversity or achieve a goal, you often find yourself feeling more energised and motivated. This positive energy should, in turn, help you to see negative situations as less hopeless and provide more resilience to resolve them.

Limiting Beliefs

Beliefs determine our thoughts, emotions, and actions – so choose them wisely!

Seligman’s ADCDE Model of learned optimism is the perfect Segway into the concept of limiting beliefs. Recall also that when we considered the importance of a growth mindset, we revealed that a fixed mindset is characterised by the limiting belief that the capacity to learn and improve cannot be meaningfully developed.

Understanding our beliefs

What is a Belief?

• A belief is something we consider to be true
• Anything that we assume to be a fact with no evidence
• Initially formed when we are young when we accept what others tell us and often to keep us safe
• Later, formed by our experience, inferences, and deductions
• Sometimes we hang onto beliefs that don’t serve us
• Can be embedded so deep we don’t even realise it is a belief

It’s also useful to consider how our beliefs are formed.

• All of us have our own set of unique beliefs that shape our lives
• Our beliefs determine what we think about ourselves, others, and our environment
• These greatly influence our emotions and actions and, consequently, our success and happiness.
• That’s why beliefs are so important
• It’s worth examining, understanding, and changing any limiting beliefs to give you the best chance of achieving your purpose

Choosing our beliefs

Many of our beliefs are formed when we are young when we accept what others tell us, and often to keep us safe. They become inbuilt mantras to keep us safe, automatic, subconscious responses.

Some of these are positive, and unfortunately, some are also deeply negative, and they can hold us back from reaching our potential. Hence, an important distinction between limiting beliefs and empowering beliefs. I’ve assembled some examples of both sets of beliefs to help you appreciate the difference.

Have a look at both lists and especially consider the limiting beliefs that are within you. I personally struggle with four on this list. Although the work that I have done has significantly reduced the impact.

Here are some examples of commonly held beliefs, separated into those that will have a limiting effect and those that will have an empowering effect.

Empowering Beliefs

Here are some more examples of common limiting beliefs and suggestions for more empowering beliefs.

It is possible to choose your beliefs, and we will look at how you can free yourself from your limiting beliefs – the ones that are debilitating and holding you back. Then we can take action to replace them with beliefs that provide positive support and purpose.

Take some quiet time to work through this list and consider each limiting belief and the opposite empowering belief. Which ones ring true for you, and how have they held you back?

Selecting empowering beliefs

I’ll take you through an exercise to identify, break and replace your limiting beliefs with empowering beliefs that will bring you joy.

Step 1 – Identify limiting beliefs so you can change them

Grab a blank piece of paper and write down all the answers you can think of to the following questions without overthinking or editing…

1. What areas of your life are unfulfilling, and you’re not getting what you want or need?
2. What areas of your life have you tried to improve but did not get the results you wanted?
3. What aspects of your life make you unhappy and discontented?
4. What aspects of your life make you feel weak, powerless, incompetent, or held back?

Take your time. These might be some of the most difficult questions you have ever asked yourself. Be honest with yourself; don’t overthink it or edit yourself.

Step 2 – Challenge your limiting beliefs

Now that you understand the possible debilitating impacts of limiting beliefs, ask yourself – do you really want them to hold you back? It’s time to take the next step where you examine your limiting beliefs so that you can remove, break them, remove them and let them go.

It’s really useful to put yourself in the position of your inner coach and definitely not your inner critic. Consider how you would talk to a child that you are guiding through this process. Be kind and encouraging to yourself.

1. Review the limiting beliefs you have identified and isolate the strongest ones as these will be your core limiting beliefs.
2. Consider your core limiting beliefs in turn and go through the following exercise; I suggest a fresh blank piece of paper for each belief, as writing down the answers will have a positive cognitive impact. Think back to when you first had the belief. When did you first believe this? What happened for you to believe it? Were you told to believe it by someone? Was it based on an experience?
3. One by one, recognise the falsehood in each of your core beliefs. How false is the belief? How has it limited you? How do you feel about it? It’s okay to get angry and even better to move through this to a place of forgiveness.

It is important to accept that you are not perfect. It is time to be open to learning and ready to change.

Step 3 – Replace the limiting beliefs

Now that you understand the possible debilitating impacts of limiting beliefs, ask yourself – do you want them to hold you back?

Once you have identified your limiting beliefs, it is time to replace them with carefully selected empowering ones that will support your unique purpose.

1. Select a limiting belief starting with the core beliefs that have been the strongest negative influences on your life
2. Craft a new empowering belief to replace the original limiting belief. Do this by –

· Reinforcing the falsehood of the belief by considering evidence to the contrary. Really spend some time thinking about this until you know that your limiting belief was not based on reality.

· Focusing on the opposite and crafting the empowering belief. Sometimes this isn't enough, so consider ‘What if’ statements to challenge the original belief and craft a more positive one.

· Let go of your old limiting belief, admit that it was false and limiting you, and you will start believing the new empowering belief in your heart and your mind.

Reinforce the empowering beliefs

It really is a liberating activity task to identify and remove your limiting beliefs and then replace them with empowering beliefs. The hard part is to ensure they stick and that you don’t regress. It takes discipline and constant reinforcement.

It requires repetition and effort as it takes some time and discipline to rewire your brain. Make a commitment to scan for evidence that supports your new empowering beliefs, as this will trigger a virtuous cycle, as seen here. Use it regularly every time you notice a limiting belief. It will become second nature, and you’ll eventually be able to do it in a few minutes.

Remind yourself of your new beliefs every day.

The more you consciously remind yourself of your new beliefs the faster you will be able to replace the old ones so that you think and feel the empowering beliefs every day!

Find out more…

Optimism and the power of beliefs are covered in detail in Module 5 of The POSITIVE Lawyer program.

Take the first step and book in for a FREE 30-minute coaching session .

My aim is to inspire you to transform your working life and achieve great things!