Abandonment Acted Out Through Money
Joan Sotkin
Founder & CEO at Prosperity Place, Inc | Money & Emotions Expert | Money & Energy Activator (Ask me what that means) |
As I prepared to write this, I realized I hadn't included the chart about emotions and money I mentioned in the last issue.
So, to start, here it is.
The Effects of Feeling Abandoned
Here is an example of how abandonment might be coupled with feeling lonely, unsafe, and, perhaps, frequent longing.
John’s mother died suddenly when he was twelve and the oldest of three children. He is now in his early 60s.
His father, a lawyer, was devastated and so consumed by his grief that he was unable to give the children the love and attention they needed.
Because John was the oldest child, his siblings looked to him for support, which he was ill-equipped to give.
Confusion and Aloneness
Understandably, John felt unsafe and alone and often longed for someone to hold and comfort him.
Yet there was no one with whom he could share his feelings. He didn’t even understand them himself.
As you read this, try to imagine, if you can, how you would feel in the same situation. Can you understand why John might have felt abandoned and alone while longing for his mother?
Success On the Outside
When I first met John, he had been a real estate agent for 10 years. He was relatively successful, married with two children. To the outside world, he looked fine.
But he never felt that he had enough money and often longed for more.
He believed that having more money would help him feel safe and secure, feelings that usually eluded him.
He worried a lot about losing what he had, although he never shared that with anyone, including his wife.
He would go through periods of enjoying significant sales success and feeling great followed by periods of money feeling “tight”. He longed to feel free.
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John wondered why other agents seemed to have an easier time earning so much more than him. He often asked himself, “What’s wrong with me?” Or, “What am I doing wrong?”
Here’s the Good News
Working with John, I helped him see that nothing was wrong with him that needed fixing and that he wasn't doing anything wrong.
He came to understand that he was acting out the effects of the trauma of his mother’s death and everything that followed when he didn't get the support he needed.
After two sessions of guiding John through the process I’ve developed, he was surprised at how much more relaxed he felt.
I asked John to notice the changes that might take place in his life. After just three months, he reported that everything had eased up.
His sales had increased, he felt generally more relaxed, and he started trusting in a positive future for himself and his family.
John was inspired to continue learning more about his emotions and to use that new knowledge to continue moving forward.
In future issues of this newsletter, I'll be sharing more about money feelings and how you can recognize when they are affecting your income.
The Trauma Webinar Title and Date Has Changed
Doug Foresta and I have decided to give ourselves more time to prepare for the webinar I mentioned in the previous issue of this newsletter.
The webinar is now called Release the Trauma Limiting Your Income and it will happen on July 11.
Next week, I'll send a notice with information and instructions for signing up.
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