A-Way-With-Words #007

The value of micro relationships.?

My love of supermarkets is pretty low, and my patience for queuing is even lower. For this reason, I have always opted for the self-checkout, but recently my frustration with the incompetence of the technology has risen to a new level. Inevitably something doesn’t scan or the packing area doesn’t recognise an item, forcing me to call a member of staff to assist - which I feel is somewhat counterproductive.?

So, yesterday, for the first time in almost a year, I opted for a traditional checkout, and I can tell you it was revolutionary. From the minute Debbie began scanning my items I realised what my supermarket experience had been missing for the past 12 months - human connection. For the brief 5 minutes that it took for me to pack my items and pay, the casual chit chat sprinkled with a few laughs, left me feeling warm and fuzzy.?

This is what I call a ‘micro-chat’ - a small chat about nothing in particular with someone we don’t know, and whose paths we may never cross again. To some it may seem trivial to make the effort to open our mouths to a stranger, when we have hundreds of other things demanding our attention. Others may assume that there can be little meaning in a fleeting conversation.

But this is to diminish the value and opportunities that a ‘micro-chat’ can offer. A poem vs a 500 page novel, a 30 minute comedy vs a three hour blockbuster…each one as valuable as the other at any given time.?

Every time I have invested in a small chat, I have parted feeling a little lighter and in a way…rosier about the day ahead. But to focus purely on what I gain is again to deny what the sharing of a few words can offer another. The exchange of words with the barista who looks as though they are counting down the hours until the end of their shift, or the elderly woman you pass in the high street whose only interaction with another is their daily trip to the local shop.??

The truth is that all of us are never far away from fragility, and when we are struggling to make it through the day, all it can take is the most minuscule of dialogue to turn it around.?

The amount of times I hear individuals, companies and organisations say they want to “change the world”, “be the best version of themselves” or “make a difference” placing enormous emphasis on grandiose gestures. Yet perhaps we place too much significance on the big picture, all the while neglecting the impact we can have right here, right now.?

Dale Carnegie’ poem comes to mind…

“A smile, someone once said, costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it. Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.”

The same can be said for a few words, a warm hello, a brief encounter - use your words wisely and remember that we can all make a big difference through the small things. Humans need connection and so thank you Debbie…she won’t even know it, but you made my day a little sunnier.?