#9 You can automate your life, but you cannot automate living

Moments close to nature have made more and more sense in my routine, especially after the burnout earlier this year . They connect me with who I am and disconnect me from the virtual world. As I share this issue, I find myself writing from the heart of Acadia National Park — a place that holds a special spot in my heart. My birthday falls on Saturday (September 2nd!). If you're considering a gift, I invite you to contribute to Friends of Acadia , an organization dedicated to preserving the park's facilities and trails, a cause close to my heart. ??

Within today's issue, I share a question that has occupied my thoughts frequently over the past few months since leaving corporate America: "Why have I found myself engaged in many tasks that seem to operate on autopilot?"

Recently, I grew uneasy within my various WhatsApp groups, which made me leave all of them (except my global mentoring group). It seemed that an expectation had formed for perpetual availability, regardless of the moment or circumstance.

That's when it hit me: I can automate many things in my life, but I can't automate living. I can't automate doing things that bring me joy, and I can't automate the moments I spend at the beach with my dog and my boyfriend. Our trips. I cannot automate the messages I send to people I love or the long chats I have with my mentees. I'm not a machine. “You are not a machine, Mariana”.

That's why, a few months ago, I started testing different ways of introducing discipline into my days, freeing up space in my brain, and trying, little by little, with successes and failures, not to burn out again. I share some things that have helped me, and that may make sense to you, even if you have a different routine than mine.

Scheduling and working

Every Friday, from 10 to 11 a.m., I block my calendar to plan the following week. I ask myself questions like:

• Can any of these meetings I have planned be canceled or resolved through a phone call or e-mail? If yes, I cancel them. Otherwise, I check if I scheduled the right amount.
• Is there any delivery for next week that needs my immediate attention or has a sensitive deadline? If yes, I prioritize this task.
• I review my fixed monthly activities: gym, therapy, and mentoring sessions. Are they properly scheduled? Are there any changes?

• Most of my posts on LinkedIn are scheduled in advance. I automate the publishing so that I can have meaningful conversations in the comments and private messages.
• Every Sunday, at noon, I set up all the spinning classes in the app. Since working out is my priority, I don't schedule anything for any of these times.

Money

In recent years, I started being more disciplined with my money (I talked more about it in the podcast Sofá Financeiro , by Caroline Daher , from Mulher na Bolsa, available in Portuguese only). I have two credit cards, and both are on auto-pay. Every 1st of the month, a certain amount is debited from my account and transferred to Fidelity (the brokerage I use to invest in stocks). Every 2nd, an automatic purchase of shares is made for the amount deposited at the brokerage. I invest, and I forget (exactly as it should be).

By doing so, it makes me feel (a little) more in control of my finances. After I left my 9-5 job, it became more challenging to discipline myself financially.

Setting up these systems makes a huge difference!

Food

I eat the same thing every day in the morning: coffee, toast with peanut butter, eggs (and sometimes p?o de queijo, if I am missing Brazil). Waking up and eating clean makes my day start well. My partner and I also have a default menu for dinner; some days, we adventure into a new recipe. (Yes, my Brazilian rice and the farofa are part of the default menu). :)

Having a recurring menu helps us eliminate what is known as decision fatigue". Decision fatigue is the idea that after making many decisions, your ability to make more and more decisions over the course of a day becomes worse. This also helps us to be more assertive when doing grocery shopping.

Now that we dotted the i's and crossed the t's... I will share what I should keep from automating.

Relationships

Living abroad has never been easy. Yesterday, August 30th, it's been exactly seven years since I landed at the airport in Jackson, Mississippi, to start my Masters in Computer Science. Nurturing relationships with my family and friends has always been a challenge, but something I've always done very consciously. When I go to Brazil, I feel very present. And that's how it should be to be with people we love, regardless of whether we live abroad. The days are long, the years are short, and life is wind. We cannot, and should not, automate our relationships and interactions. As counterintuitive as it may seem, leaving WhatsApp groups made me closer to the people I chat with online.

Hobbies

I always loved writing. I won an award when I was 13, and I went to the studios of a local TV as a prize. A single and simple compliment from my Portuguese teacher made me think I was a good writer. I never stopped writing. I am not the best writer, and I still have so much to go. Today is work. But it has always been a pleasure. This newsletter is also part of my work. So, there's commitment. But commitment is not automation.

By trying to automate our hobbies, we eliminate the essence of what makes them so rewarding. The hobby is a pleasure in itself. Whether your passion is painting, playing a musical instrument, cooking or crafting.

Every moment dedicated to our hobby, we discover more about ourselves. With every moment devoted to our hobby, we take off the judgment about doing things to be perfect.

Automation can save us time so that we can dedicate ourselves to relationships, leisure moments, and traveling. To everything we do for pleasure. But for everything that requires our whole body and soul, we cannot, and shouldn't, automate.

How have you been using your time? Are you paying attention? Or just living on autopilot?

Comment below. I'd love to hear your thoughts!

See you next week,

Mari