#9 - Top 6 Self Sabotaging Behaviours in Business (Part 3)

For the last couple of weeks I have focused on the top 6 self sabotaging behaviours and patterns that I see in my Practice for clients who have their own business or are professionals in their career.

Number 1 was Impostor Syndrome

Number 2 was Visibility/public speaking fears

Number 3 was money blocks around receiving, retaining, hitting a ceiling

Number 4 was overworking and feeling unseen

Today I’m going to be focusing on:

• Procrastination and Perfectionism
• Anxiety and Fear (or lack of confidence)

Procrastination and Perfectionism

Well we’ve probably all procrastinated a bit when we’re trying to do something that perhaps feels too hard, too big of a job or something that is perhaps unpleasant or boring and you can definitely be forgiven for thinking like this occasionally.?

There are also plenty of tips online for breaking down tasks into more manageable pieces so I’m not going to focus on that today.

I want to focus on the deeper rooted feelings that go along with procrastination when it’s actually reached a critical point that you “must” do the work, but you still don’t.?And perfectionism when it reaches the point that you notice it is holding you back so much that you’re not even putting your work out there.

So let’s look at what’s really behind those habits.

Common root causes of Procrastination & Perfectionism

Procrastination and perfectionism have some common rooted fears from our childhood of the fear of failure, not feeling good enough inside. It may also be linked for not feeling worthy for simply being YOU, rather than the feeling you learned as a child that you only really got the attention you craved when you achieved something and therefore you only feel "worthy" when you achieve.

But procrastination often shows up when we are feeling bored and misaligned to what we’re doing.?When it becomes a problem, then it could be that what you are doing does not meet your inner core values and there is some dissonance between what 'lights you up', and what you are currently doing.?

So if you are procrastinating a lot and you are unsure what your real values are – you can go to my website and download a list of values and there is an explanation there of what to do.?

Once you know your core values, then it is easier to make decisions in your career, your business and your life on the basis that if the choices you are making are in alignment with your core values, then you are likely to be a lot happier than if they don’t.

You can find the list of values with the explanation here:

https://mebutfree.com/values/

When thinking about perfectionism – try doing some journaling work and use these prompts to guide you to dig deep on the behaviour pattern:

1)???how was I rewarded as a child by my parents or main caregivers?

2)???who judged or criticised me and made me feel that I wasn’t good enough?

3)???who judged or criticised me and made me feel that my work wasn’t good enough?

4)???If I don’t try…then I can’t fail.?How true does this feel to you?

5)???(dig deep on this one) – Does “success” scare you??

Okay so now let’s look at Confidence, Fear and Anxiety.

Confidence, Fear and Anxiety

When we’re not confident at work or in our business (or even in our relationships) we may undersell ourselves at interviews or with clients, get overlooked and even end up overworking and “people” pleasing in order to feel better inside.

Anxiety – even “high performing” anxiety can give us significant feelings of success, but at a cost to how you feel inside and how your body deals with the stress of the anxious thoughts all the time.

I have done a completely separate article around Anxiety which I will put the link for in the comments field below this post and so I will focus more on how a lack of confidence and how fear affects us.

A lack of confidence and fear can show up as:

·?????Overthinking and worrying – “what if this happens….” – these sort of thoughts keep you stuck in the problem, feeling fearful of the next step and not focusing on the solution

·?????Fear of selling……(Fear of rejection or failure or not being good enough)

·?????Fear of conflict (assuming conflict is always bad) – the more we avoid things the more we keep hold of the fear

·?????Fear of not having enough time causing overwhelm and stress

·?????Fear of change – you feel overwhelmed or worried about the future and even about who you might become if you are successful and how much work that might bring

·?????Worry about what others may think of you?

·?????You feel like an impostor and that you might get found out for not really knowing enough

But here’s the thing – we ALL have stories from the past that we have attached meaning to.?For many of us the fear is not really about what we are about to do.?It is the fear of what “could” happen if we weren’t good enough based on something we felt from our past.

But the more you fear the feeling of “failure”, you are fearing that the person who once judged you harshly in the past may be right, and this can create a cycle of not going all in on what you’re doing because of the fear….which then gives you a ‘less than ideal’ result which then confirms the fear.

Do you see how that works?

It’s a negative thought looping cycle which confirms a limiting belief!

Now confidence can, in part be achieved through feeling competent and so ensuring that you are able to show up with the knowledge and competency of what you are about to do will certainly help.

But here’s the biggest hack I can give you for fear.

Know that the same part of your mind that is responsible for fear and anxiety is ALSO responsible for excitement.?Trick your mind that you are excited about what you are about to do!?Try it!

?

So I hope you have enjoyed this series of the top 6 self sabotaging patterns of behaviour I see in my practice from clients who are professionals or who have their own business.

?

When we can get to the root cause and the beliefs that have been created deep in the subconscious mind as a result of the feelings and the experience that happened a long time ago – then we can question it, reframe it and be free of it.

?

In the mean time, if you would like to have a chat about any of your limiting beliefs that you know are holding you back – then just send me a DM.?You could also download a copy of my brand new PDF “The #1 Barrier to Your Next Level Success” and learn 5 mindset shifts that can change your life – link is in my bio.

#procrastination #anxiety #successmindset #perfectionism

?________________________________________________________________

??I support professionals and entrepreneurs to breakthrough their upper limits and subconscious blocks that are holding them back

??You could hit the bell if you’d like to see more?

Or drop me a DM if you’d like a “Pathway to Freedom” call

?