9 Timeless Lessons to Win Friends and Influence People: A Modern Take for the LinkedIn Crowd

Do you ever wonder why some people just seem to have it all figured out? They're natural networkers, never run out of things to say, and somehow make you feel good about yourself without even trying. Well, here's a secret: they're probably following the timeless advice from Dale Carnegie’s classic, "How to Win Friends and Influence People." If you’ve read the book, you know it’s packed with gold nuggets, but applying those lessons takes practice.

I’m going to break down Carnegie’s 9 key principles in a fun and practical way, along with examples you can use right here on LinkedIn or in your daily interactions. Let’s turn that good read into a great practice. ??

1. Don’t Criticize, Condemn, or Complain

It’s easy to point fingers, but criticism rarely gets people to change their behavior — it only makes them defensive. So, what’s the alternative? Empathy. ??

?? LinkedIn Pro Tip: Got a coworker who missed a deadline? Instead of throwing shade, try this: “Hey [Name], I know things have been hectic. Let me know if you need any help getting things back on track!” You’re offering support, not judgment — and that changes the whole vibe.

2. Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation

People love to feel valued. A well-placed compliment can do wonders for someone’s confidence and morale, as long as it’s genuine.

?? LinkedIn Pro Tip: Someone’s recent post really hit home? Don’t just leave a generic “Great post!” Instead, comment with, “I really appreciate how you explained [specific detail]. It gave me a whole new perspective!” Now, that’s appreciation they’ll remember.

3. Arouse in the Other Person an Eager Want

Want someone to do something? Show them what’s in it for them, not you. No one likes to feel like they’re just doing you a favor.

?? LinkedIn Pro Tip: Need a colleague’s help on a project? Instead of, “Can you help me with this?” try, “I think your expertise in [specific area] would really shine on this project. It’s a great chance for both of us to make an impact.” Everyone likes to feel useful — give them a reason to say yes.

4. Become Genuinely Interested in Other People

Let’s be real: People love to talk about themselves. So, be a great listener and mean it! Ask questions that show you’re genuinely curious.

?? LinkedIn Pro Tip: Instead of only posting about your own achievements, take the time to engage with others. “That’s an amazing milestone you’ve reached in [field]! What inspired you to pursue this career path?” Suddenly, you’re more than just a connection — you’re someone who cares.

5. Smile

Sounds simple, right? But the power of a smile (even a virtual one) is underrated. Smiling can put people at ease, making interactions more pleasant.

?? LinkedIn Pro Tip: It’s hard to physically smile through the screen, but you can express that positive vibe in your writing. Use friendly language, emojis (sparingly, of course), and show enthusiasm in your comments. “Loved reading this! ?? You’ve made my day with these insights!” Let them feel your virtual smile.

6. Remember People’s Names

To someone, their name is the sweetest sound in the world. Using it in conversation makes the interaction personal and memorable.

?? LinkedIn Pro Tip: When responding to a message or comment, use the person’s name. “Thanks, [Name]! You’ve raised an excellent point here.” It’s a small touch that makes a big difference in building relationships online.

7. Be a Good Listener and Encourage Others to Talk About Themselves

Active listening is a superpower. When you listen well, you don’t just hear words — you build trust.

?? LinkedIn Pro Tip: Someone shares a thought-provoking post? Instead of replying with your own opinion right away, ask them, “What inspired you to write this?” or “Can you tell me more about your experience with this issue?” People love to explain their thoughts further when given the chance.

8. Talk in Terms of the Other Person’s Interests

It’s not about you — it’s about them. Tailor your conversations around what the other person cares about, and you’ll capture their attention.

?? LinkedIn Pro Tip: If someone’s passionate about leadership development, don’t talk about your latest coding project. Instead, ask, “I noticed you’re into leadership development. How do you approach building leadership skills in your team?” Suddenly, you’re speaking their language.

9. Make the Other Person Feel Important – and Do It Sincerely

Everyone wants to feel valued. When you make someone feel important, you build a connection that lasts.

?? LinkedIn Pro Tip: If you’re connecting with a thought leader or mentor, don’t just say, “I’d love to pick your brain.” Try this instead: “I’ve admired your work in [specific field], and your insights have genuinely inspired my own approach to [specific goal]. Your perspective has been so valuable to me.”

Final Thoughts: The LinkedIn Twist on Timeless Principles

These principles may be almost a century old, but they’re more relevant than ever in our hyper-connected digital world. Whether you’re networking on LinkedIn, building relationships in the workplace, or just trying to be a better human, these simple shifts in behavior will help you connect on a deeper level.

Next time you’re engaging with someone online or in person, remember: a little empathy, sincere appreciation, and genuine interest can go a long way. And hey, don’t forget to smile. ??

Now it’s your turn! What’s one principle from Dale Carnegie’s book that you’ve applied recently? Share your experience in the comments — I’d love to hear how these lessons have worked for you! ??