9 Steps to Exuberance

At times, the human mind develops a sense of unclarity and insecurity that creeps in to threaten and steal one's true potential. Speculations and doubts rise up leading to purposelessness. First described in 1978 by Georgia State University psychologists, Imposter Syndrome finds its effect in 7 out of every 10 people. A lot of us tend to engage in internal dialogue with ourselves believing we are not good enough, not desired enough or not capable enough. The brain acts as the instigator to feelings of worthlessness and insufficiency. At the workplace, the severity of the situation increases with the constant pressure to always be the best. This may be more prevalent in cultures which harp on self-drive and self-reliance. The brain acts as the gas lighter, feeding the fear and obscureness. Pandemic isolation and uncertainty has fed this tendency well. Self-doubt among the teams and employees has risen. The mentally isolated environments we are living in have indeed heightened the emotional and psychological issues.

?Opening up

What enhances the problem is the fact that not a lot of people prefer to speak up on the issue, and an already overwhelmed mind strays away further. Our societal expectations add to the masala with its tendency to avoid discussions on mental health. But it is as natural to develop a mental illness as it is to get a bruise. Mind (Brain) ultimately is just an organ. Sadly, mental illness is synonymous to asylum, and there is usually some family joke around it. Stress, depression, feeling low has been conveniently ignored as situational.

But now we know (courtesy medical advancements) that mental illnesses and setbacks are known to manifest in our body as deadly diseases which in a lot of cases are scuffed off until we hit a point of no return. It's time for us to normalize discussions on the topic for people to open up as only that will lead them to a path of recovery, healing of mind and mending of soul. Absenteeism will demand us to start treating news of suicides, mental break-downs, heart failures, un-natural diseases etc as regular. Penalties are serious.

Ameliorate Yourself: The 9 Marker Model

The imposter syndrome brings along various speculations regarding one's potential and capability which need to be acknowledged and attended to. Nobody needs to be in a spot where they have to dust away their self-confidence and potential. But how? I have developed a 9-marker model after lots of reading, introspection and application. The proof point is in my experience which I am happy to share with people who wish to approach for a 1:1 discussion or in groups. At large, I have used it to humbly advise people in my professional and personal circle.

1.Acceptance of the feeling

A lot of people abstain from accepting; the ostrich bias tells people to ignore the existence of the syndrome in a hope that it won't affect anymore. This only adds upon to the building pressure and complications and makes it even harder to tackle it in the long run.

2. Know you are not alone

It's not just you who has encountered thoughts like these, it's to credit a lot of people out there who feel the same way. This is not just your problem and you are not the odd one out. It is normal to feel unhappy or doubtful, and it is also okay for you to have the belief to be fine or the absence of it. You are fine.

3. Let’s talk perfection

Nobody is perfect, nobody ever was and nobody ever shall be. Everyone makes mistakes and these mistakes are what make you the person you are. Be open to making, accepting and learning from mistakes. Life is a summation of experiences...experiences of all kinds. Everything and every human have flaws and these flaws make you unique.

4. Talk about it

Seeking help is one of the best ways to help yourself out of any situation. Know that your family, friends or spouse may be available to give a fair hearing to your inner-self so choose if you feel there exists a non-judgmental relationship. You may seek professional help through Psychologists, Counsellors and Career Mentors as well. Talk to your mentor at work or your manager, tell them what you feel, seek guidance and advice. Even if you achieve nothing for yourself, you have made two more people aware about it. Realign yourself, benefitting from the trail of their experience and counsel.

5. Spend time with yourself

Take off time from your schedule to work on yourself, to reward yourself for everything you have done. Develop your hobbies, passion and your inner self. Treat yourself with things you enjoy spending time at. Give yourself time to recover and come back stronger.

6. Say yes to challenges

Accept all the hindrances life has to throw your way. Be open to challenges and new experiences. Learn from every experience in life even when it's the worst of experiences to ever have. Once done and dusted, it will be a part of your own individual rich heritage. Develop a mindset that drives you to problem solving and honing your abilities.

7. Take time to meditate

Meditation is an amazing way to restore your peace of mind and develop a better understanding towards life. Pairing up meditation with a physical activity, preferably yoga, helps to give your body and mind a new start and a better capability to face challenges.

8. Follow the five second rule (courtesy Mel Robbins - https://www.dhirubhai.net/in/melrobbins/ and “The 5 Second Rule” https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34189313-the-5-second-rule)

If you have an Instinct to act on a goal, take action within 5 seconds or your brain will eventually get rid of it. Work towards your goals at the present moment instead of leaving it for some other time, procrastination leads to losing sight of goals and plans.

9. Be kind to yourself

Self-harm tends to shoot up when people start thinking ill of themselves. But you need to understand that you are just perfect the way you are. You don't have to be so hard on yourself, trying to become someone you are not and punishing yourself when you fail because you are so unique in your own skin. Power of self-affirmation is much stronger than anything else.

Try to speak up and share as much as possible because you never know when someone needs to hear this and you may end up becoming a source of positivity.

Working with Imposter Syndrome in a Team

Loss of self-confidence can be a capacity limiter so it’s important to tackle it empathetically at the workplace. Having tried it out myself, at the team level, I have found resolve in a holistic learning and development plan to provide the employees with an opportunity to take their mind beyond the usual lines of thought and come across new methods to rekindle their thoughts and behaviours. This also drives them to share their experiences with the team, engage with industry partners and make them better able to develop a relationship with the client by welcoming their experiences and journeys further strengthening the privateness of relations. Our open culture boosted sharing of knowledge and acknowledgement, bringing in reassurance.

The pandemic led to doing everything online including remote hiring, due to which a lot of new recruits could not physically meet their co-workers which sits at the foundation of impersonal connections. This could be parasitic so we worked towards non standardised ways; to build relationships with the employees, we resorted to various methods like pre-hiring engagement to build confidence, nurturing strength-based culture where employees are invigorated to identify and hone their skills and complement those of their team members to produce something phenomenal. We designed processes to give room to people to tailor execution plans for their business plan with a flexible output-driven mindset, fungible work schedules, so as to eliminate the need of micromanagement which was coming in the way of the personal trusted bond much-needed for the success of long work from home model.

We planned grooming and counselling sessions for the younger and also experienced members of the team as a pre-emptive measure. As a person responsible for culture and engagement at team level, I have been watchful of the connotations at all times to avail the opportunity of being agile. I encourage the team to take regular breaks for physical and mental rejuvenation as well.

Ultimately, if you want to give love and value to others, you need to begin with yourself.

Magic Mantra?

“Humko man ki shakti dena, man vijay kare…

Doosron ki jai se pehle, khud ko jai karein”

If you are not as lyrical as me then I will like to cite Yajur veda’s “Aham Brahmasmi”, I am Brahman…I am divine…unity between self and absolute is supreme.

I am a form of Devi and much like Devi’s 9 avatars, I carry the verve of positivity and the iron-will to abolish the evil inside me and outside.

Excerpts are captured in https://lifestyle.livemint.com/news/big-story/is-covid-making-you-feel-like-a-fraud-at-work-111632051802385.html

Photo credit: https://www.gallerist.in/portrait-paintings/ma-durga-painting https://www.gallerist.in/artists/krishna-mondal-2

#ImposterSyndrome #LetsTalk #dontgiveup #mentalhealth #selfbelief #fearoffailure

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