9 Reasons to Fire Your Executive Coach

(Insider advice from leading executive coaches)

If any of these are true, it might be time to fire your coach.

1. Your coach doesn’t understand the difference between being a coach, counselor, therapist, consultant, mentor or trainer.

There are important and nuanced differences and your coach may have just slapped that label on their business card.  Trying to be all things to all people is problematic from both a practical and professional ethics standpoint. If you are unsure about the differences between these disciplines, ask your coach and if they can’t (or won’t) articulate the differences, then fire them. 

Question: Do you want a “jack of all trades, master of none” as your coach?  What is your coach’s true area of expertise and is it getting you the results you need?

2. Your coach never makes you feel uncomfortable.  

When you went “coach shopping” you likely put a premium on finding somebody with “good interpersonal skills” or high on “likeability.” If it is empathy and validation you crave, get a dog, a drinking buddy, or both. If it’s results you want, find a coach with a demonstrated track record of helping clients achieve measurable and meaningful outcomes and stop worrying about getting an emotional hug along the way. Your coach should be pushing you, challenging you, and holding you accountable and if done well, that should make you feel uncomfortable at times. 

Question: When is the last time your coach challenged you enough to make you feel uncomfortable? When is the last time your coach disrupted your thinking, patterns and beliefs?

3. Your coach lives on easy street and is on cruise control. 

If your coach isn’t committed to their own development and growth – find another one! Some coaches land on a perspective, a model or a theory and spin that into a career for decades. They “rinse and repeat” with their clients. It would also be hypocritical for a coach to advocate for self-improvement or self-development without being on a growth journey themselves. Does your coach have a coach? Do they have a Peer Group to push their learning? What do they do to expand their own perspective and upgrade their skills? 

Question: Is your coach succeeding and evolving in their own business, career, and personal development?  Are they taking risks, innovating and practicing what they teach?

4. You are worried about how your coach perceives you. 

If you don’t have difficult and substantive conversations with your spouse, kids, parents, boss, co-workers, or annoying neighbor, my guess is you aren’t really having them with your coach either. Coaching is neither therapy nor surrogate parenting, but to get real results you need to self-disclose, be vulnerable, and confront tough issues. If you have been unable or unwilling to do this with your coach, because you are worried about what they will think about you, spend your money on something else.

Question: How vulnerable and real are you being with your coach? Are you telling them what is really going on for you or keeping your guard up and managing how your coach perceives you?

5. You think your coach is expensive.

If you think your coach costs too much – then they probably do! The best coaches can command high fees because the value of their time, experience and energy on your behalf creates exponential value to you. Stellar coaching should feel like a high-yield investment – because it is! 

Question: Do you feel like working with your coach is a bargain, based on the results you get?  Are you convinced it’s an incredible investment of your time and resources?

6. No one else knows you are being coached. 

Your coach should push you to set goals that will have personal AND organizational impact. At least some of these goals should be visible, measurable and meaningful to others around you.  For many years coaching took place "behind the curtain" and in secrecy. That is an outdated and limited model and might be an indication you need a therapist, not a coach. 

Question: How many of your key stakeholders and relationships know what you are working on with your coach?

7. Your coach is a parrot.

Although the best coaches have mastered deep listening, if your coach is just listening and reflecting back to you your own thoughts and ideas then you aren’t really being coached. Active listening skills are the blocking and tackling of good dialogue, but master coaches have opinions and know when to share them freely and openly. The best coaches are examining and judging what is being discussed and are willing to offer their interpretations, expertise, and guidance in active and even prescriptive ways. They know that you can make up your own mind about what is right and wrong, what makes sense, and what to do or not.

Question: When is the last time your coach told you their unfiltered opinion? 

8. You are paying for your coach to learn the profession. 

The International Coaching Federation (ICF) 2020 survey shows that 25% of coaches have joined the industry since 2016. That means there are a lot of coaches with less than four years of experience and are learning their trade on your dime. Don't be the guinea pig or benefactor to fund your novice coach's learning journey. Demand the best, pay the price and reap the benefits.  

Question: How many years has your coach been seriously committed to mastering coaching?

9. Your coach needs you to commit to the long-term to get results. 

If your coach needs you to commit to the long-term and is looking to evaluate impact a year from now – save yourself the time and money. Master coaches create insight and impact from the very first conversation with the intention of facilitating your independent learning, not creating a dependency on them. You and your stakeholders should notice progress within a few sessions, or you have the wrong coach with the wrong approach working on the wrong things.  

Question: How long does your coach think it will take for you and your stakeholders to see results?

Contributors

Dr. Paul Damiano is an industrial/organizational psychologist who has been doing executive coaching and leadership development for over 25 years. He is founder and President of Good Works Consulting www.creategoodworks.com

Chuck Ainsworth is a recognized leader in the field of coaching and leadership development. Former Head of Coaching at the Center for Creative Leadership (CCL), he continues to unlock emotionally intelligent conversations and leadership in individuals and at scale. Discover more at www.epicrivers.com and www.PilgrimPro.com

Glenn Newsom, Ph.D is an executive coach who has worked with thousands of leaders over the last 25 years.  You can discover more about Glenn and his work at www.PilgrimPro.com

Jamie Ramsden, is a certified executive leadership coach and founder of Adastra Consulting www.adastraleadership.com. A former Chief Executive, Jamie has been coaching C-Suite and Senior executives around the world for over a decade.