9 reasons to not feel ‘work guilt’ - An ode to Working Mums

Happy Mother’s Day 2019! 

As another Mother’s Day rapidly approaches, not only am I reminded of my wonderful Mum and Mother-in-Law but also of all the working Mums out there who juggle children, life and work in general! 

Whether you work part or full-time, freelance or run your own business – We all have to manage this unrelenting balancing act called: Motherhood. 

"Embracing ways of becoming more time efficient can hugely reduce 'Work Guilt' "

With a whopping 90% of Mums feeling guilty about going to work and leaving kids in childcare or sending them to after-school clubs, it’s an innate guilt that we all feel. Some more than most. *See my top tips and sources of inspiration on time management at the end of this article

Often there’s a paradox of Mums that back you and Mums that judge you – that’s just human nature and that won’t ever change.

The good news however is that Mum ‘work guilt’ is something that you can overcome! Going to work should be celebrated and often it’s the only piece of sanity we get, and the benefits are huge.

For my part, I set King Recruit up 3.5 years ago when my youngest was 1.5 years old. It was challenging at first, but I made a conscious decision early on to learn how to compartmentalise work and time with my kids. Fast forward to 2019, and I work 4 full days allowing me to have quality time with my children over a long weekend which I love. 

I’ve been lucky to have a fantastically supportive husband and mother-in-law plus I tend to delegate things that aren’t a good use of my time. I’m an extreme advocate for maximising time efficiently – If you have 1 hour to do something, you’ll get it done, but if you’re given 2 days naturally, you’ll take 2 days. It’s the law of averages. 

Things like having a cleaner, online food shopping, having an amazing Administrator at work all add up to me being able to create a healthy balance outside of work. 

Let’s explore 9 reasons why we should all say a firm GOODBYE to ‘work guilt’…

1. It teaches kids to be self-sufficient and adaptable

Universally we all want independent children. In an increasingly disruptive era with the rapid growth of new technology our children will need strong resilience. Who knows, in their life time they could be going to war, fighting over food shortages, struggling with multiple careers, having to constantly adapt to emerging skills and face reduced living space. 

Right now, they are learning to become self-sufficient, flexible and adaptable, and get the privilege of seeing a woman (their mum) who hasn’t totally abandoned her own identity due to becoming a mother. She is now whatever she was before, and she is also a mother. That gives a very strong message.

2. It will make you more organised

Want something done? Ask a busy person. Apart from my foot notes about maximising your time for ultimate productivity, your kids will be used to good routines and so will you! Everyone’s a winner in the family! 

3. It’s good for your soul

I mentioned previously about ‘your sanity’, all joking aside, many mums love the solace and independence that works gives them. I’ve heard many Mum’s say, ‘I go to work for a break’ and just as many saying, ‘I feel like me again’. And, if you’re anything like me, you actually miss them and look forward to seeing the kids when you do finish work. I absolutely love my weekends with the kids and equally can’t wait to arrive at work on a Monday morning! 

4. Feeling guilty is a waste of time

Feeling guilty doesn’t serve you or your children. Once we’re clear we’ve made the best decision possible, any guilt becomes an irrelevant waste of time. Beating ourselves up with unnecessary guilt doesn’t help us, our children, or anyone else. 

5. Everyone is at least a little bit happier

Being a working parent is no guarantee to raise happy children, but to be well-balanced and to get a self-confidence boost outside of the home, whether it’s full-time work, a hobby or volunteer role, contributes to being a happy person. And if you are happy, your children will be! 

6. You’re financially better off

Let’s not forget this one! Being able to contribute to the family’s finances is empowering just in itself. 

7. It makes you a good role model

It’s a break of tradition that’s here to stay, Mums work too. No longer do we have a society where the husband goes out to work and Mum stays at home. Again, this builds your children’s independence especially your daughters!

8. It can force you to spend more quality time with the family

The kids are much more likely to benefit from you being an active and present Mum when you are with them. There’s nothing better than leaving everything behind, (including technology) and going for a full day in the outdoors.

There’s no substitute for quality time. Even if it’s a one hour of your complete focus, better than a whole day being ‘un-present’ with your kids. 

9. It’s good for your relationship

It helps to keep an equilibrium in the partnership; partners have to pull their weight too

So, forget about the guilt. Being a working parent might be hard, but you’re doing a very brilliant thing.

Some great time management gurus who have helped me in managing time effectively are as follows:

For ridiculously mind-blowing time management principles!: 

Tim Ferriss – Author of the 4-hour work week https://fourhourworkweek.com and one of the world’s most downloaded podcasts

I particularly like the question by Tim Ferriss: “If you only had 2 hours a week in your business, what would you spend your time on” The same can be applied to lots of areas of our lives. See some of his other ‘efficiency questions’

For inspiration:

The new book ‘Becoming Michelle Obama’. Michelle had to juggle her own extremely successful career, with a husband running for presidency and a strong desire to be home every night to tuck her children into bed. 

For Fun: If you haven’t already heard of Sarah Turner and the ‘Unmumsy Mum’, she is a home-grown talent from Exeter, Devon who has an extremely refreshing attitude to motherhood.

?For a Time Management system that’s a life changer: 

From, Tony Robbins – Worldwide Life Coach and Guru! The Rapid Planning Method.

RPM changed the way I manage my time. I highly recommend investing in the disks and generally checking Tony out on YouTube!

Helen is Managing Director of King Recruit – a Senior and Executive recruitment consultancy covering the whole of the Southwest. You can contact Helen at [email protected]T: 01392 790725 www.kingrecruit.com