9 Questions ... Question 2, Week 2, (day 1)

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." ~ Mahatma Ghandi

"Deep listening is the kind of listening that can help relieve the suffering of another person. You can call it compassionate listening. You listen with only one purpose: to help him or her (or them) to empty [their] heart. Even if [they] say things that are full of wrong perceptions, full of bitterness, your are still capable of continuing to listen with compassion. Because you that listening like that, you give that person a chance to suffer less. If you want to help [them] to correct [their] perception, you wait for another time. For now, you don't interrupt. You don't argue. If you do, [they their] chance. You just listen with compassion and help [them] suffer less. One hour like that can bring transformation and healing." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Q2: How might we become better at relationship and dialogue, one-to-one and in larger groups?

Career awakening and leadership seems to require relationship and dialogue.

How might we create the spaces where personal and collective relationships flourish, where differences are welcomed and collective intelligence sparks creativity, innovation and individual and collective learning?

A few notes before we begin:

1. So, here we are at Week 2 (day 1) to with an invitation to "become better at relationship and dialogue."
2. I'm appreciative of those who have reached out to me and to those of you who are following the dialogue around 9 Questions for Leadership in Life and Work.
3. Several of you have inquired about a synchronous time when we might gather to discuss 9Qs; at the moment, I'm thinking that we might offer this as an invitation after Week 4.
4. As always, your feedback, suggestions and dialogue are welcomed, invited and encouraged. And, please feel free to connect via LinkedIn if you are inclined.

For me, ... a few thoughts come to mind ..."becoming better at relationships and dialogue"

1. ... reminding myself to clear my mind in order to be present
2. ... reminding myself to listen actively (as I can become easily distracted and occupied by other thoughts: see #1)
3. ... reminding myself to ask meaningful, relevant and courageous questions -- even uncomfortable questions
4. ... reminding myself that I am too often quick to offer solutions without being invited to do as sometimes folks just want you to listen to accompany them and with them for this moment in time
5. ... reminding myself to return to conversations days and weeks later to check in and/or to complete any follow-up that has been requested of me

Accompanying resources:

• Surprised by God: Teaching Reflection Through the Parables by Dr. Christina Zaker

“Our God is a God of surprises... Am I open to the God of surprises?”—Pope Francis, 2014

Responding to this challenge,?Surprised by God?explores what it means to reflect on life and our journey of faith. Theological reflection has been primarily used in academic training for ministry preparation, but it is an essential tool for any person pondering Pope Francis’ questions.

Christina Zaker provides an in-depth look at the foundational elements of theological reflection including definitions and guidance through various methods. Offering a lens for reflection based on the unique way Jesus’ parables surprise and invite listeners to collaborate in the reign of God, the book foregrounds the importance of reflection as a spiritual practice committed to justice.

Reveling in the many ways God surprises us, we learn how to respond to the invitation of faith with open minds and hearts.

The Purpose Gap: Empowering Communities of Color to Find Meaning and Thrive by Dr. Patrick B. Reyes

In?The Purpose Gap, Patrick Reyes reflects on a family member’s death after a long struggle with incarceration and homelessness. As he asks?himself why his cousin's life had turned out so differently?from his own, he realizes?that it was a matter of conditions. While they both grew up in the same marginalized Chicano community in central California, Patrick found himself surrounded by a host of family, friends, and supporters.?They created a different narrative for him than the one the rest of the world had succeeded in imposing on his cousin. In short, they created the conditions in which Patrick could?not only survive but?thrive.

Far too much of the?literature on?leadership tells the story of heroic individuals creating their success by their own efforts. Such stories fail to recognize the structural obstacles to thriving?faced by?those in marginalized communities. If young people in these communities are to grow up to lives of purpose, others must help create the conditions to make that happen. Pastors,?organizational leaders,?educators, family, and friends must all perceive their calling to create new stories and new conditions of thriving?for those most marginalized. This book offers both inspiration and practical guidance for how to do that. It offers advice on creating safe space for failure, nurturing networks that?support young people of color, and professional guidance for how to implement these strategies in one's congregation, school, or community organization.

[Thanks to Aaron Kuecker for the recommendation and gift of The Purpose Gap.]