9 Obvious Signs You're In A One-Sided Relationship

There are several things that are more effective when seen from one perspective: Take, for example, an ice cream cone that you don't want to share, your high school journal, or a game of solitaire. But what makes a relationship strong? That's a problem with two sides to it.?When?you're caught in a one-sided relationship, it's easy to trick yourself into believing that what you're feeling is normal, but in reality, the relationship may be unhealthy or even loveless. Unfortunately, this is simple to do to yourself.

The trouble starts when a couple gets together and discovers they have incompatible or ill-defined wants, expectations, and limits. The brain may play tricks on you in many ways when you genuinely admire (or adore) someone, and it's not your fault.

Because of your fear of losing them, you may begin to analyze every move they make and the words they utter too closely. It's possible that you're willingly or unconsciously ignoring warning signs. You may do one or the other, and as your feelings for them deepen (hello, hormones), you may start to question whether you aren't more engaged in the relationship or circumstance than they are.

Not being able to physically intervene, I can at least advise you on how to recognize the telltale indications of a one-sided relationship. Better more, I can show you the route out, whether that means finding harmony with this individual or moving on without them. You really have no downside here.

So how do you know if you’re giving more than you’re getting? We asked the experts to share some tell-tale signs.

1. You are Always Initiating Plans

There is always going to be some degree of give and take in every relationship. That is to say, the level of effort put forward by you will fluctuate with the circumstances.

Let's imagine, however, that you, early on in a dating or committed relationship, become the one who is always initiating face time. It might just be that they're bad at making arrangements in general, but it could also signify that they aren't as keen on seeing you as you are with them. You have to choose whether or not you're okay with both possibilities.

2. You Feel Tired

A one-sided relationship may tire you out just as much as a stressful job, if not more so. Paulette Sherman, PhD, psychologist and presenter of the Love Psychologist podcast, says, "Sometimes when you are tired, it is because you are giving and not getting a lot back."

Maintaining a healthy relationship requires effort, but rather than feeling physically and emotionally spent, you should experience the opposite.

3. You Start to Second Guess your Worth

When you put in the effort to make your relationship work and make your spouse feel appreciated, Sherman says it can be devastating to your sense of self-worth when they don't feel the same way about you.

Actually, it's just a choice (and an awful one at that) that your spouse is making and has nothing to do with your value or loveability.

4. You Accommodate to their Suppressed Level of Intimacy

This is a significant deal, so listen up. Sometimes people may tell you right from the bat that they struggle with close relationships.

Perhaps they are still reeling from the emotional wounds inflicted by a recently ended relationship, a cheating ex, or the breakup of their parents. No matter the context, you might see their disclosure as a tender act of sharing a part of themselves with you. Just don't do it.

In order to overcome their barrier to closeness, you may find that you are willing to make concessions. However, this is an unbalanced relationship, as they are not concerned about losing you because of intimacy problems, but you are concerned about losing them because of how you are handling the situation. The worst!

5. They aren’t Creating a “Love Map”

One of the leading experts on marriage and divorce, psychologist John Gottman coined this wonderful concept. A person's love map is a representation of how they see their partner's inner world, including their aspirations, worries, insecurities, past experiences, and memories.

It's a symptom of a one-sided relationship if the person you're seeing isn't making an effort to get to know the pieces on your mental chess board, which changes with time.

6. They Show Little Interest in your Life Outside them

This one seems apparent, yet many people overlook it. This might first manifest as a lack of enthusiasm on your partner's behalf to meet your extended family and friends. After a certain amount of time has passed, you may lose interest in one another and stop keeping tabs on each other's lives.

It's their first day on the job, so you make them a special meal and pop open a bottle of champagne to toast the occasion. However, after your first day, you are just asked, "Sooo, how was it?" A relationship should never be about keeping score, but your spouse should be doing things for you that are at least comparable to what you've done for them.

How about picking you up from your new place of employment? Possibly they might have brought flowers. Could they have done more to demonstrate their interest in your activities? Yes, at least to some of them.

7. There’s Little Talk of the Future from their End

Most couples want to build a life together at some point. Therefore, if you are thinking this way (excellent!), you will likely express this in the form of long-term plans (a wedding) or genuine where-are-we-going (a.k.a. "DTR") discussions at some time.

If someone is avoiding you, it's probably because they don't want to speak about the future. They are aware of the issue, but they aren't ready to discuss it openly just yet. That's quite OK, too. It's easy to assume things are one-sided at the present if you find yourself wanting to have those conversations or be their date for that impending wedding more often than they do.

8. You are the one who wants to Work on Things

Similar to how a fire door can only be opened in one direction, one-sided relationships often only include one person doing the talking.

The relationship may be completely off-kilter if you feel like you have to apologize for everything, even if you haven't done anything wrong, or if you're the only one who wants to talk things out.

9. Your Priorities are Different

In the same way that your priorities about things like income, leisure time, or how you express appreciation for one another might indicate an imbalance in your relationship, Sherman argues that talking about the future can do the same thing.

For example, in a one-sided relationship, you may assist them in choosing an outfit for a formal work dinner while they make arrangements with their friends, or you can spend time carefully selecting a birthday present for them while they make plans with their friends on your special day. There is a major imbalance in the give-and-take.

Make it obvious, however, that you aren't willing to accept anything less than your full potential. No one can be forced to advance, but anybody may choose to retreat. It's up to you, and it might depend on how strongly you feel connected to this person, but in the end, it's difficult to feel secure in a relationship when just one person is contributing. As a result, we refer to it as a one-sided argument.

You get to decide what happens next.