Be the 9% - My LinkedIn "Request to Connect" Experiment

I changed my approach in 2016 regarding how I manage requests to connect on LinkedIn. My previous way was simple; if I knew you I connected otherwise I declined. There was nothing wrong with this approach, but I was curious – why would a total stranger want to connect with me? For the past year, I have a bi-weekly routine where I review all my LinkedIn requests from the past couple of weeks. I accept the ones that I know, reject ones that look like spam and send the following message to people who look legit but I don’t know.

“” Hi XXX - thanks for reaching and wanting to connect. Not sure we have met each other or ours paths have crossed. What's the motivation for the request? Darby “”

I have categorized the responses of this experiment in 4 groups:

No Responses

This bucket represents about 50%. After sending the message above, I usually give a contact 14-days to send me a note back. 50% of the time I hear nothing and simply delete my message and delete the request to invite. Psychologically, I am fascinated by this approach and what it tells me about a person. First, that the use of one-click to connect without including a personalized message, just seems lazy in itself and second, the lack of response to not follow-up on what is a pretty easy request for additional information speaks volumes.

Expanding My Network Responses

This bucket represents about 40%. These responses typically start with an acknowledgment that they don’t know but the pitch to connect is all about “expanding” networks. I have received some passionate responses about how having more connections drives more business and how they can help me or even better how they can connect me to all the people in their network. Some of them actually make me chuckle.

I send back a response, similar to the following:

“”Hi XXX – Thanks for the note and additional information. I only connect with people that I have met in person or chatted on the phone. So, at this time I suggest that you follow me. When the timing is right for us to chat directly, I would welcome a more direct connection. In the meantime, feel free to reach out regarding any opportunity. Darby. “”

Another data point here is that about 50% of people usually send a thank you response back and 50% I never hear from again.

Legitimately I Have a Reason Responses

This bucket represents 9% of all responses. These are the responses that outline the why and more importantly the WIFM. This has resulted in some great connections as well as business being done. My only advice to prospective individuals; include the core details of your request at the time you want to connect. It would save a few steps. Don’t be shy – tell me what you want, it’s faster for both of us.

If you add up the above use-cases, you are probably asking, what about the other 1%. This represents the last bucket.

WTF Are You Serious

This is the group of people who either take offence to me asking questions or will persist on sending me a huge lecture on how I am using LinkedIn wrong and that I should accept all requests. They usually throw numbers at me, insist that they are worth connecting, telling me that I will hugely more successful if I connect with them and on and on. The stupidity of this approach baffles me but I do get a few good chuckles before clicking the trash icon.  

After 1-year of this experiment, here are my conclusions:

#1 – If you have something important to say it right away. Tell me what you want, why and next steps. Be the 9%.  

#2 – If you are not going to engage, then don’t click the Connect button. Your actions reflect poorly on you.

#3 – Don’t lecture me on how you think I should operate on LinkedIn. That’s not your place.

Want a good resource on how to write a personalized connection on LinkedIn? Check out the 7 Best Ways to Customize A “Connection Request” by J.T. O'Donnell