The 9 Lives Juggler Strikes Again

Well hello there!

We likely don’t know each other, but I feel like I know you. You’re at that weird stage when everyone is telling beautiful, multi-faceted you that you need to CHOOSE a path.

Think back to first grade when you wanted to be both an inventor AND an astronaut. Remember how grown-ups laughed? "That's cute. One day you'll grow up and have to CHOOSE."

Ha.  Not so much.

During my last year of college during my super hard Computer Science degree (took me like 2 years to learn to code properly—I swear), I had to fill an elective, so I chose an interesting-sounding class on Vampire Mythology. We read many books and short stories on vampires throughout history and had to analyze them as they related to normal life. Then we had to write our own modern vampire story. My story was not awesome (in fact, it was really terrible). I got a B despite working really hard on it, BUT I really enjoyed the exercise and I was actually sorry the class had to end.

When I started my life as a software engineer in Seattle, Washington at a little CRM company called Siebel Systems, I realized that I had a lot of time on my hands in the evenings, given that I had no homework or no exams to study for. I was a super-shy nerd and wanted to make friends but had no clue how. I decided to enroll in fiction writing class at Bellevue College on Tuesday evenings to do the kind of writing that I'd liked so much in college and maybe meet other people like me.

The first two weeks of class, I just sat in the back and listened to people read their work out loud. Some of it was great—some was just okay. Everyone was a part-time unpublished author. The teacher, Janet Lee Carey gave me a prod, “Bring something next time?”

Immediately I thought I’d need to drop out of class, so I didn’t have to do this. But then I realized I really loved this class. I went home and wrote the first thing that came to my head: a story of a 21-year-old girl who moves to a fictional techie town in Seattle and has no friends and looks for adventures. Definitely a stretch.

The next Tuesday rolled around. I thought aboutnot going. I could so easily go home and order Sichuan food and watch Gilmore Girls reruns (if you haven’t seen it, you must). Totally an adventure.

No, I had to go.

I raised my hand to go first so the torture could end. I read the chapter out loud. Guess what? Everyone laughed! As in they thought it was funny. Funny? This was my LIFE. This was a tragedy!

Seriously though, I liked writing and reading my work out loud. I loved the comments people left for me, namely one that said, “Keep writing—I can’t wait to see what happens to her next week.”

So, I did.

Within ten weeks, I'd written a REALLY TERRIBLE novel, pretty much an extension of my vampire story. But more important, I'd started to figure out how to juggle two very strong interests together. Many years went by, I wrote 4 more novels, got a literary agent and I eventually became a published author.  Since then, I’ve published 7 books. My latest one, Spin Your Tale is about how to build your own personal brand…using the fiction writing tricks I’d learned so many years ago.

Many years later, it happened again. I craved something more. I had a pretty good grasp of being a writer and a software engineer, but I wanted to create something with my hands rather than from behind a screen.

According to my parents, I've been drawing since before I had memories. I drew on everything I could get my hands on, including the dog. I continued into high school. 

Many, many people said, "You should be an artist!"

Many adults said, "You should not do that. You'll be broke forever and live in your parents’ basement under the ping-pong table." 

So, I stopped drawing and focused on Computer Science in college, but I always stared enviously at the students on the bus who were headed to the Art and Design building with their portfolios. 

So, one day I walked by New York Fashion Academy in Ballard here in Seattle. I peeked in the window that saw a whole bunch of people dramatically draping and pinning fabric around dressforms (those armless mannequin-looking things) while staring at drawings that were pinned to the wall--very Project Runway-looking. At that moment, I realized I wanted to do this too. So, I walked in and asked about signing up.

The first question the instructor asked was, "What kind of sewing machine do you have?"

Oops! I didn't even know how to sew! I said I needed to check and ran away.

I went to a local fabric store and asked for advice. They pointed me to someone who taught lessons for beginner sewers (sewing for 7 year olds--seriously) and within a month of practicing every day and having suffered multiple stab wounds due to me leaving needles everywhere, I was sewing actual things! Then I was actually able to enroll for part-time fashion school and went every Tuesday and Wednesday night and all day Saturdays for 15 months until I was able to design a collection. The feedback I got? "You're very good at 3D visualization--have you done this before?" Nope, but I AM an engineer. This was Engineering 101!

Next up for me is to launch my fashion line, Prima Dona—100% manufactured by tailors in Kenya. This happened because of ANOTHER side-hustle…but that’s another story.

Of course, now everyone always wants to know when I'm going to quit software engineering to become a full-time fashion designer or a writer. I'm not going to do that! Why? Because I actually love software and writing and designing. I don't want to give up any of them. I've also realized that some very good things are happening by having multiple interests, jobs and lives: 

1.      I don't have all of my emotional eggs in one basket. If I'm having writer's block or a dress design looks stupid or I have a fight with someone at work, it's okay! I have so many other things to create and work on that I don't stress out about the ONE thing that I value myself as being good at or being my identity. 

2.      I have unusual experiences and an interesting network. Stealing my friend Kristina Libby's definition, I think of an influencer as someone who has connections in at least two different circles of people and can "translate" information between people who don’t speak the same language. I love being able to talk about tech to people in publishing or fashion in a way that resonates with their own industries. By doing this, I have ended up with twice the network and twice the weird stories!  

3.      I end up with twice the skills. I'm not trying to combine my worlds. It would be kind of odd for me to announce that I MUST make clothing at Microsoft. What would that solve for the world other than just using my skills? Instead, I use my writing skills every single day to tell our customer stories in interesting ways at Microsoft. I used everything I learned in fashion school to make friends with visual designers when I was working on HoloLens where art and science truly come together to create amazing 3D worlds. I use my engineering skills to be organized about both my writing and fashion projects.

4.      I have multiple sources of income. You'll notice that some of the most successful people in the world have multiple sources of income. I'm nowhere those levels, but I wanted to get into a place where I have passive income (royalties from writing) along with active income (software engineering, speaking, fashion design).

5.      I'm very fulfilled. I tend to feel fulfilled if three things are true: I'm using my skills, I'm autonomous in my decision making and I'm working on something that has great meaning to me. Even if I don't feel these in my day job, my side gigs + my day job together provide me the opportunity to have all of these be true.

So the next question I get a lot is "how". HOW do I balance all of my interests. The honest answer is that I don't. I do them fairly sporadically and randomly depending on how I'm feeling, or when I have something due. You have never seen me be as dedicated of a writer when I am two days away from a writing deadline. Over the course of the past 15 years, I've realized what works for me and I've created a few rules for myself:

1.      Create > Consume. I don't watch sports, movies or TV at all (unless it's while doing something else like socializing). I read pretty much only non-fiction about topics that are interesting to what I'm creating. Again, if consuming is how you recharge or get inspired, this won't work for you. I know I need every spare second, I can get to create so I limit my consumption. You do need to figure out how to fit a new thing in your life though.

2.      I only do two things a day. I don't try to do software engineering AND fashion AND writing in one day. I just try to do two things--that includes hanging out with my friends and family because they inspire me like nothing else. If I write in the morning and then go to work, I consider that day a success!

3.      I spend time with ONLY people I really enjoy being around. These are generally people who make me better in some way or another. I don't hang out with people who drain my energy or are overly negative--even if I'm obligated to. I make lame excuses and bail. They don't help my creativity and I just wind up resentful so I say "no" to these situations a lot.

4.      I don't beat myself up. This is probably the most important thing. People are usually their worst critic. So I didn't go to that house-warming or finish that blog post or that design doesn't look very good. So what? I don't get down on myself. How would you talk to a good friend? Talk to yourself that way.

Again, these are MY principles. They help me do the things I want to and it's taken me a long time to realize that this is how I live the happiest life. Your rules will be different but I highly encourage you to hang out with at least one person who believes that anything is possible. If you can't find that person, BE that person. The world needs more of them!

So, the very long answer is that I absolutely don't have it figured out but I'm trying. I still feel guilty if I turn down an opportunity to mentor someone or speak at an event because I simply have too much I want to produce.

So listen, you can be anything you want to be. Imagine being a juggler. First you throw one pin back and forth, once you can do that without dropping it, then you add a second pin. Once you're comfortable with those two pins, you add a third. You don't one day just start juggling five things! 

You can absolutely be a writer, a designer, an artist AND an engineer (or whatever) if you want to. If I can do it, you definitely can. If any grown-up gives you yap about "No, you can't do it all", tell them not to be so basic. Then send 'em to me.

Do the thing, champ. Hit me up if you need help. We got this.

-Dona

https://donasarkar.com

#SheCanSTEM #MakeWhatsNext #GirlsInSTEM #WomenInTech #MicrosoftLife

Microsoft, GE, Google, IBM, and Verizon have partnered with the Ad Council of America on the #SheCanSTEM campaign that encourages girls to pursue STEM by showcasing modern, technical female role models because if girls can see it, they can be it. Follow the campaign on Instagram @SheCanSTEM.